in my life,
ive called three girls my best friend.
one i haven’t seen since i was five,
one i wish i saw more,
one i wish i never saw again.

the first half my hand on a playground,
the second held my hand while i cried.
the third was the reason for my tears.

and now there’s a fourth.
i don’t love many people like a sister,
but she’s one of them.

i would tell her all my secrets,
cut myself raw so she can see the real me.
shes so honest,
the kind of friend ive only read about.

but im not the only one she’s a great friend to.
im selfish, i know.
i wish she wasn’t such a good person,
that she didn't give out kindness like it's endless
that i could have her to myself.

but i cant.
because she’s my best friend,
but i'm not hers.

Lavender and Lysol
I hope you’re excited!
guidance in the form of secrets
Coming out of your shell (I see the old me in you)

Goblin Market
Tales of trysts with a silk tie
under an amnesiac glow (ggp)
A pre-roll keeps doing a disappearing act

Eucalyptus, sweat, steam
You sat there with me for what felt like hours
Two minutes
Sipped electrolytes

Mexican chocolate is back!
They’re zero waste now
Reminiscing (talking ****)
Helping me fill in the gaps

Part 2, 3, 4
Sour wax crunches when frozen
You don’t know how much I needed this laugh
You guys keep me honest

Now more than a day alone feels like solitary confinement
I’ve shed my introvert childhood
I crave companionship
I know how sweet it can be

People say we die alone - get used to it
But I think I’ll end up somewhere
A mango tree
Arms outstretched
Friends as far as the eye can see

I cover my tears
Masks made of too bright smiles
My eyes hold tears of sadness,
Though they see them as tears of joy
I drown my thoughts with lyrics
When they become to much to bear
I talk too freely,
laugh too loud,
Just to cover up the silence
The darkness clouds my brain,
My thoughts,
my feelings
I hide my pain with my humor,
But the jokes feel empty when I’m alone
The silence screams louder than I ever could
And I can’t say it out loud
I know they would laugh it off
Or tell me:
“That’s not you”

i like you 6.17.25 (8:36 pm / 10:36)
i like you
not that kind of like, i just like you
i liked you when you said hi to me
i liked you when you smiled and it looked real
really real
i like you because you care and you remember and you seem to know everything

i liked you when you said
this gives me hope for our future
i liked you when you told me it would be alright

i liked you when you laid beside me on the woodchips
my head on your shoulder
and we stared at the sky

i like you
you know what it is to be sad
and you remember kindergarten
feeling alone
afraid to ask for friends

i like you
can we be friends?

[playing: rain by cavetown offline]

I was sinking to the bottom of the ocean
I hoped you hadn't pushed me
I looked at you with tears in my eyes
I hoped you didn't see

I was waiting for you
Waiting for you to return
I was waiting for you to call
I hope one day I'll learn

I saw you choose your friends over me
But did I cross the line?
And I saw blood on your hands
I just hoped it wasn't mine

Amidst the crowd she’s alone,
Amidst all hundreds of friends and others.
She’s alone. She sits by herself.
Amidst empty and worthless dialogues.

It’s as if she’s being overlooked.
It’s like as if she’s in silence cloud.
Her thoughts are quiet for all them.
She’s far away. She’s lost in the crowd.

She lives in her own world of dreams,
Without fictions, lies and falsehood.
Her footsteps are quiet for others as streams.
Nobody knows what'll be her remote.

And she lives in her tiny world.
Worries and fears are endless there.
It seems as if she’s attached in whole
To all her pain, which bites and bares.

Nigel was a Scotchman
Who wore the kilt an aw,
He stained it with some marmalade
And rubbed his sporran raw.

A habit from his army days
When dressed in jungle green.
And pretty girls were few and far
And Nigel far too mean

To spend his hard-earned pennies
On bowls of mutton stew,
So, he took to nightly rubbing
Of his sporran - wouldn’t you?

But we all love you, Nigel.
Aye, hail, and rain doth blaw,
You great Scotch *** in jam smeared kilt.
Ye Guffey **** an aw.