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Bhavani Sep 8
pre-extraction nerves
found a seat to ground myself
anxiety spiked
Cana Feb 2023
Those moments in life
That staccato heart beat
An anxious mind and the release of sleep
The tightness of a chest bound by woe
Picks up the phone one last time
Descovia Feb 2021
FML
Surrounded by a solid foundation
Not certain if it's for my protection

Not certain if it's for your protection

All these questions and blames games

But you never questioned or held blame
for the one you selected to be your president
It's easier to just stroll through a phone
and bicker about nonimportant messages

Don't save her. She doesn't wanna be saved!

He ain't a good teacher. Why does he get a raise!?

So, why you are dealing with the same life lesson?!

**** everything I have to say, unless it's relevant
I could put emphasis on that, but instead of fing this whole chain up rather remain celibate.

Everywhere I turn.
Somebody is trying to  f
me.

Without the ****?
I'm not the begging type
but "fool, give me a break" PLEASE.

I can be calming and surprising
like the summer time breeze
Keep memories in heart company, when feeling unease
The feeling which is oh so lonely
Have you remembering talks of nostalgia
with your parents, like when you first discussed
"The Birds and Bees." Master these elements, summoning great power of one's eternal beyond to receive grace from deities.

Making sure all the contacts are informed and balanced, remaining as one in connection regardless of location. Which should've been incoperated through our history!

I been on this for centuries!

You call it business structure. I call it perfect symmetry!

I'm just another brother, which as much love to give as
a grateful mother in a world of living color....

We still burning each other alive.

Just for others to shine like a diamond
in the night, oh so bright.

We got idiots roaming around
making profit and we are nothing more than discarded objects

Last time I check. You can put a price on a ring.

You can't put a price on a wife?

Yet I am the problem??

So f* my life right??
Eve K Aug 2020
Pills on the table. Fallen over. Not up straight.
A glass of water, half full... or is it half empty?
Lying in bed, my chest aches, the weight
of the ****, of the fear of the....

Where do I go from here?
Feel sick, that twisted stomach, gut up in throat,
Knowing that there's something to say, something to hear,
Wanting to speak out, wanting to say wanting to....

Deep breathe, 1...2...3...1...2...
Can't get to three, minds wanderin'
again and again and again and....

Why do we find ourself here again... and... again... and again....
Stop. Breathe. Listen. Stop breathe listen stopbreathlisten sopibrethisten.....

Calm... calm... calm....
I can't I cant' Why can't I?
It's too much and I can't. I beg of you, I say I can't........

Where did my mind go today?
Where didn't my mind go today?
Why did my mind go today?
When will it come back?

It's easy, just think. Remember. The worst is over...
but why does this seem worse?
Why does this seem more difficult?

Is it because it's someone I loved?
Because it's someone who I thought loved me... for a time?
Is it because it happened under my nose, I didn't realise?
Is it because it's so insidious and the fear that stays in my chest, that's keeping me awake at night is real and I feel that I know the answer, the truth but I fear it?
(Or is it because it wasn't the only time?)

Let me let you in on a secret, the clowns that laugh in my head.
Yes... That laugh the eyes that float around.
The little girl singing those horror songs. Quiet but loud, the laughing,
The shouting,
The screaming,
The screaming,
THE SCREAMING....
It's not real. Or is it? No, I'm sure it's not!!!
It's definitely not, at leastI can tell the difference between whats real and what not real. Right. Thats what matters right? Thats what matters right? Thats what......
At least the **** doesn't affect me.
I don't know where I am. I feel like I'm going insane. I don't like this feeling. But I get I am triggered. I guess I am activated... But how do I leave this? Oh I do wish it would stop
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