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Bardo Sep 2022
Farting Frank used ****
   rather furtively
A real Frank-furter Farter
    was he.

But mellifluous Maeve
   she'd **** loudly all day
She couldn't care less
   what came out of her derriere.
Says a lot about a person's personality I think. Are you a furtive Frank or a mellifluous Maeve ? Me, I'm a bit of a furtive Frank, Yea! I'm real devious LoL.
Poolza Aug 2020
Whenever you ****
Just think about all the things
That you ate today
****
Purcy Flaherty Feb 2018
Hot Jazz, subsonic blasts!
My whoopee cushions deflating fast!
Rumble squeaks, the but kazoo,
cheeky flappers 2 by 2!
So toot your horns and raise a glass,
for trouser dancing's such a gas!
At the soggy bottom dew.

(   )*(   )

https://youtu.be/iSGzMaSgws4
Farting is deemed undesirable!
Edna Sweetlove Apr 2015
Another poem from the pen of my alter ego Barry Hodges

Half asleep, I sense you rise from the bed
Where we have shared love's passion,
Your sweaty body glistening as the dawn's early light
Peeks through the curtains of our ensuite bedroom.
O! To think that our great love affair must end
Now that your husband has threatened
To asphyxiate your six dear children
If you do not cast me aside like a worn out shoe.
And when I awake fully I find you gone forever,
The only souvenir of our last night together
Being a small squashed **** lying on the stained bedlinen.
O! How can I ever forget such a tragic awakening?

FOOTNOTE
[I knew from bitter experience of similar occurrences that dear old Mrs Bloggs (Seaview Bijou B&B;, The Esplanade, Ramsgate, Kent) was bound to make a hefty surcharge to disinfect the bedding thoroughly. What an unromantic old ***** she was, may she rot in Hell forever.]
Laureeann May 2014
Falling in love is weird
Because at first you don't expect
Anything except for passion
And romance
And story book perfection
But when you fall head over heels for someone
Someday things are going to move
Beyond
Beyond kissing, and hot touches
Sometime things are going to move
To laughing openly
And fighting
Using hard words you never thought you would
Farting during the most
Intimate moments
Teasing
Playing
Falling in love is weird
Because when I was younger
I pictured
White weddings, and chapels
I pictured hand holding, and snuggling in bed
I pictured kissing, and romantic candle lit dinners
But when I fell in love
I didn't think of
***** laundry, or morning breath
I never pictured the messy wax residue left from candles
Or the dishes
But I guess there are things
You don't expect
When you fall in love
But when you find them
It's a little bit better
Because I'd rather wash your ***** underwear
Than anyone else's
And that's love

— The End —