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Dougie Simps Aug 2015
It's been 26 years and I'm finally letting out these held back tears
Of confessing to my family and friends of all my hidden fears
Another beer..a lack of drive cause I'm too drunk to ******* steer...the end feels near but I wanna be better than what ya see...who I appear
100 friends yet, they never call and call only when it's a need
I ******* bleed to please all of what ya need! But is it me? Of course it's me... I'm a monster who can't control his emotions that's why my 5 yr love decided to flea. Do I care? Will they always be there? Why do I repeat this *******...is life truly fair?
Fake success...maybe dress to impress...care a lil less and show your ignorant heart with your hollow chest! You can't impress people who already saw you at your best.
You're a poet, hell of a writer with the ambition to change the world! Yet your dark heart has made it impossible for you to remain with any girl...your mind twirls...your soul spins...gain a loss, forget a win...maybe it's time for you to finally look at yourself from within. Where have you been? Have you ever been honest? You can't escape this quick sand! TELL EM YOUR TRUTH! "Hi, my name is Bland" TELL EM YOUR WEAKNESS! I look in the mirror and it's ME i can't stand! "TELL EM MORE! AND DONT LIE!"...I tried and and continue deny. I'm a selfish individual who can't see things for what's right, so I pray selfishly to have "God" listen only to make everyone I ever spoken to a victim of my mission to do whatever the **** I want without permission...(I can't do this anymore!) FINISH! Okay! I'm not okay...I draw picture in my head, of a bed...of dirt and roses that say my name where I lay cause I have more issues than CNN and never know when the right time is to vent, cause I'm a self centered person who could honestly careless...and if it was your life I would probably Payless for me to no longer feel stress and sell you for me to come out best and invest in money power and false respect...I'd sell your soul for myself...I need help ******, .IM SORRY! Please make me stop... NO! YOU HAVE A LIL MORE TO SAY...okay! One day I woke up and told myself I may have nothing left to say and I can't stand the way how most people speak to me and the stupid **** they say so I pretend to listen and care but really I stare and am no longer there and I treat people like **** and use anger as a protectant so that no one can get close...my temper...please they won't dare...but I'm a little boy inside who is terrified and sacred and have no idea how to sleep peacefully because I'm addicted to the nightmares and I sit next to family in an attempt to fit in meanwhile look at my ******* skin...bottom line is, I'm nothing like these people from texture to within...I love to sin and I haven't meditated more than 15 minutes...I just say this **** so ya leave me alone and pretend to think I'm a good person and did it. Now I'm alone and possible insane! TELL EM BLAND! Idk what's wrong with my brain...I can't escape my mental cage...I feed off the world's rage and hate people who change. But I will change! Give me a chance, devil! Let me try to grow? You know what's best for me or you're a master of this manipulation? How do you know? Just let me feel something and be better than what itvm is...my past...let me seek the potential of being better than my dad. I'm not afraid! STF... NO! I'm not done talking, walking and following what it is I'm finally becoming! No longer running! As the alarm goes off and tells me to wake up and make up for my past and grow and feel the sun to warm my "cold heart" and see life for all its beauty, love in the air...seeing how a good thing last. I'm not afraid of your spew and all you do! And you trying to take your pitch fork and stick me of all the evil that resides in you! And yet, I will be something more of what I never knew id ever be! WHO THE ******* THINK YOU TALKING T... nobody, for once I'm talking to me Speaking to you as I continue and find what it is I can finally reach! Honesty, family, friends, love and myself...with everything else I always wanted to be! as I finally open my eyes and see...me.
I've kept a lot this a secret and had no idea it would finally come out for me to share...
No ones perfect...I just hope this doesn't change your perception of me...I truly changed...please...I need ya there.
Power comes from share what hurts your heart
lucia vieites May 2015
Because, not to be cocky, but I was the light in your life
sure, I was a bit messed up
but I wasn't the one holding the knife
you know, the knife you used to stab me in the back
now, I'm paralyzed.
I can't walk up to the thought of trusting someone the way I trusted you
So, look exactly what you made me do
now I'm worse, all thanks to you
I thought you loved me
but you can't let me be
now you torture  me
and why would this be happening?
because I said those words
the words that shot the relationship that once soared
and what did I say?
I said I love you
and I said it once more
strong desire Mar 2015
I saw your body
It makes me moody
shake that boody
Coz I need that really
love is barely
a tip of my penny
lust is like a hug and a remedy .
now bounce !
Explicit
Xyns Jan 2015
So familiarize what having to swallow this pill is like
It happens all the time, they take your heart and steal your life
And it's as though you feel you've died because you've been killed inside
But yet you're still alive which means you will survive
Although today you may weep because you're weak and
Everything seems so bleek and hopeless
The life that you're seeking, it begins to seep in
That's the only thing keeping you from leaping off the motherfreaking deep end

And I'm pulling for you to push through this feeling
And with a little time that should do the healing
And by tomorrow you may even feel so good that you're willing
To forgive them even after all that **** you been put through.
This feeling of resilience is building.
And the flames are burning quick as fire would.
Through this building. you're sealed in
But you're fireproof, flame retardant, you withstood it.
And as you climb up to the roof, you're just chillin' and you look down
'Cause you're so over them you could put the heel of your foot through the ceiling.

As time passes, things change everyday
But wounds, wounds heal
But scars still remain the same
But tomorrow today's goin' down in flames
Throw the match, set the past ablaze

So feel the fire beneath your feet
As you barely even perspire from the heat
Exhale deep and breathe a sigh of relief
And as you say goodbye to the grief
It's like watching the walls melt in your prison cell
But you've extinguished this living hell
Still a little piece of you dies, you scream..
Beautiful Pain by Eminem ft Sia. This song keeps me going when I want to stop.
And I'm pulling for you to push through this feeling
And with a little time that should do the healin'
And by tomorrow you may even feel so good that you're willing
To forgive them even after all that **** you been put through
I'm so sorry...
Nathan Squiers Jul 2014
Look, I was gonna go easy on you not to hurt your feelings, but I’m only going to get this one chance!
Something’s wrong… I can feel it.
Just a feeling I got, like something’s about to happen… but I don’t know what.
If that means what I think it means, we’re in trouble—big trouble—and if he’s as bananas as you say I’m not taking any chances!

(You are just what the doc ordered)

I’m beginning to feel like a write god (write god).
Can all the readers out there who think I’m right nod, right nod.
Now here I am again for another rap talk, rap talk…
They said I write like a monster, so call me scribe-star,
But for me to write like a beast means I’m a demon at least;
I got a devil kept in my pocket,
On my shoulder’s when I rock it.
Talkin’ of killin’ and of thrillin’; won’t stop it!
Write a demon doorway, now knock on it!
Ever since the dark days when I’d just lost it,
Way back when the world would pace and chant “Nutcase!”
I’m a ******, but I’m charming;
Yes, a crude, rude dude, but I’m still disarming.
Using syllables to **** ‘em all with this
empowering empire of powerful vampires.
The writer-type clackin’ back with typewriters, like way back, right?
Clackity-clack!
Rockin’ stack after stack, clackin’ out more attacks,
Ideas tacked out while hacks hack out their crap (but ******* spew **** all the time),
so I perform written parkour tricks so you’re not bored; strike a chord.
Show you Stryker’s tortured life of suicide ‘n strife turnin’
to strength and a fiery passion burnin’ while readers’ guts are churnin’—
teary eyes all burnin’.
Their fears are returnin’ from a story I turned out when I got turned on
to my own life.
Now I drop F-bombs;
exploding real-life scenes—
these ain’t your G-rated dreams, so take your outdated themes—
It’s the **** I’ve seen; don’t make me obscene.
I’m mean, I mean, it’s my means to screen a scene between a matte sheen.

‘Cause I’m beginning to feel like a write god (write god).
Can all the readers out there who think I’m right nod, right nod.
Now here I am again for another rap talk, rap talk…
They ask me to thaw out these oily blocks called ink-wads, ink-wads.
There’s a body in everybody , but not all bodies have a brain that makes them feel sane.
Like a train—just the same—
Might be runnin’ but we still cast blame,
The loading docks of our thoughts; they’re locked-up in a box,
And they’re stackin’ up like blocks
That turn the stacks to empty tracks (****!)
Trainees blame their brainees when it’s not easy training brains, see?
But the boarding isn’t boring—training brains; not trading pains—
Remember: the station’s self-exploration!
Me? I’m a hodgepodge! From train station to abandoned lodge;
Bully dodgin’, fully locked-in when I freaked out, fattened-up and then I geeked out,
Told “keep it down” but then peaked when I peeked deep down.
Creepin’ up, now, and keepin’ up (WOW!)
I swear it up and tear it up scribbled swords,
And now I wear awards for slingin’ words;
Offered praise; a chance to forget about the craze that once darkened all my days,
But I write that way—say “that’s okay ‘cuz it helps me write this way—each and every day!
And hacks think I act this way just to seem this way, ‘til come the day when the cray-cray takes the doubt away.
Demon obsessed? I’m possessed! Can’t own what you don’t possess!
“Hey, devil-lookin’ boy!”
So ***** for my honey I’m rockin’ horns, look here boy!
A Literary Dark Mass-acre,
Like the devil laid waste to a church on the page, looker boy!
They got a gold star, and a high five,
Felt so alive to see their own scribes make it to Momma’s fridge, ****** boy!
Hey, schnook-ah boy, looky here, looker boy,
I’m held up by The Legion, book-it boy!
Had to push for every word—every page—had to swallow all the rage,
Now you want out of your cage, schnook-ah boy?
I’m legendary—literary—and you’re literally just a *****, little boy!
So sell out while I’m bought out, ******-boy!

‘Cause I’m beginning to feel like a write god (write god).
Can all the readers out there who think I’m right nod, right nod.
The way I’m burnin’ through these pages, call me Dark Lord, Dark Lord!
But they’d rather burn my books, so start a fire war, fire war!
Can’t get it through your head? Words are more than Edward! He’s dead! WORD!
Let me drag you off to meet Dracula; take you back to the dawn of the dark lord, yea?
Fast forward to the foreword where the F-word’s “fangs” (you’re welcome);
This is my Hell, come! Be free!
Part Morningstar; part Morpheus! I throw up a kiss and jot down the kills like they’re red-apple pills.
Go ask Alice back at my palace what you should read to feed your head.
Sentence structure so smooth they call me FE-line, and my cat’s got better plot lines,
That the hacks will all call “sublime” (it’s “sub-fine”)
But me?
My **** scenes are brutal,
And my romance? Not frugal. I don’t saturate—I arrogate—
But I don’t condemn my characters to *******!
I wanna make readers care—if readers dare—
To connect and feel and follow where they can find some hope and power there.
While also giving them a place somewhere that isn’t here—though filled with fear—
A place where they don’t feel jeered or feel weird.
Horror ain’t just movie monsters, or gore-****** scopin’ sponsors!
You speak French? C’est de la merde, monsieur!
You look unsure! But I have the cure in the written word!
And though you once were achin’ for a rockstar author cravin’ bacon,
The role has since been taken by your man, Squiers.
And like a pair of pliers, I can reach into readers’ brains and cross all sorts of wires!
I’m settin’ cranial fires behind the eyes of all my buyers!
And while I’m growing Ghost Riders—ridin’ shotgun on the bullet-train ‘tween the pages—
There’s a horde of haters harboring growing rages
With a narrow gaze of who scribes pages.
They say I can’t write ‘cuz of my tattoos or my gauges
So allow me to assuage this: y’all can’t cage this!
If you don’t like it, let me show you where the grave is!
You’re well-aged, but I’m ageless!
Like the undead through the ages!
And like Shakespeare took to stages you can find me where the page is:
I’m hip to a script, I’m at home with a poem and feeling groovy writin’ movies; and I’ll be EZ on your TV.
You write normal? **** being normal!
What a novel theory! So very dreary!
Why the **** are they so leery, they say “Writing fear? We don’t want to hurt no feelings.”
Feelings? Setting up ceilings! Just more limits! It’s life! Live it!
Set the roof on fire!
Plot is getting hotter than a 24/7 squatter on a ***** channel!
So what if some **** gets a hair up ‘er ****? Don’t make it ****!
They wanna say “Hey you, we’re here to stifle!”
‘Cuz I mentioned rifles? Do they really want to trifle?
So I say:
“Better bring a sweater ‘cuz this thriller’s gonna chill ya—sure hope it doesn’t **** ya—and ya gonna get’a fill o’ all the ***** that I don’t give, ‘cuz I don’t live to let ******* quip or give me lip about my lit.
I’m entertaining and elating and also demonstrating how devastating a stream of escalating scenes can be so penetrating—although frustrating—to a mind that’s celebrating what it means to be vacationing between the pages; wading through the stages of a war that forever wages; meditating through the escalations now that they know what TRUE rage is!
“Oh, he’s too ******!”
That’s right! Ain’t right. That’s life: not nice; it’s strife.
It’s not just me; it’s we.
I just found a better way to show it:
Monsters that aren’t monsters;
Abuse put to good use; bred virtues!
“I don’t know how to plot plots like that;
I don’t know what words to use.”
Did it really never occur to them that to read a book—just to take a look—and THEN take up the pen?
You read King if you want to be king, strictly speaking.
A writing mind that isn’t a reading mind is a weakling; a weak link.
I’m a scholar—not a bawler—so I’m a flyer where there’s fallers;
Raised on Goosebumps and Creepy Crawlers so I’d Stine while others whined.
Got a dark side, but that’s The Dark Side on my side; counter haters with my Vader:
“I would be your father… but your dog beat me over the fence.”
No offense. Pretense: incorporate comedy and film; common sense.
Suicide pushed aside, though I still burn inside. **** myself on
the page each day so my readers can feel what it’s like to be alive.
It’s okay to hide.
Only your own devil knows what’s inside.
I own mine; he’s my co-pilot when I write. My demonic side; my demonic scribe.
Flipping my words to the birds—‘cuz, you see, that’s how I wing it—and flipping the bird while I throw down and sing it:
“Tiger, Tiger, burning bright,
My words are my roar and tonight I write!”
The fights are in your sights like you were seated inside a movie theater;
You’d see Xander and Estella—wouldn’t you want to meet her—
Have a front row to the creatures in a feature presentation…
But ‘til then
Eat some Rice An’ read a piece by a man who
Had an “Interview with a Vampire”—
I’m a fiction author, why would I lie to ya?
Prince of lies? I ain’t Satan!
Close friends, but I’m Nathan.
Judged for appraisal—I’m priceless—I’m  nice: no; charming: yes.
Got a razor-sharp and Shining wit like a crown left
on a King… but not.
Why be a left king, when I’m a write god.
So I did a lyrical re-write of Eminem's "Just Lose It" that wound up being pretty popular, so when I heard "Rap God" for the first time I knew I had to do the same. While I hope it's entertaining on its own, I think those who have heard the song will enjoy that I remained true to the source material in terms of flow, rhythm, and syllable count (Marshall Mathers is really quite an astounding wordsmith in his lyrical writings).

Hope you enjoy ^_^

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