I held your hand,
As we flew away,
Down to the earth,
But never to stay.

Cause we're way up high,
Lost in the stars,
No faults in our eyes,
No pain from our scars.

We'll fly away,
With wings of our past,
We'll continue to soar,
As long as we have,

Our eyes to seek out,
What our mouths can't explain,
Nothing to find out,
Only words to explain.

My worn out fingers,
Wrapped around yours,
Your light still shining,
Your heart still implored.

Your smile leaves me breathless,
Like I'm stuck underwater,
My lungs gasp for air,
But only let out laughter.

We held the night,
In the palm of our hands,
Your eyes the stars,
My heart the land.

Tranquillity, the sea
                     I drown within.

Though no waves,
                I'm immersed
                          beneath.

Stillness withdraws,
                 breathless.

Telepathically
When our souls meet
In our dreams tonight
Let me remind you
that human contact
Is an absolute necessity
I want you to grab
these hips of mine
And bring me in close enough
So I can show you
That in this timeless space
You will never lose me
I want to bite your lips
And fill your mouth
With reasons
you'll never want your heart
to belong to anyone else
Let me trail my fingernails
down your back
As a map of the places
You've taken me
You will fill my ears
with passionate noises you make
And remind me that
The only thing
I ever want to get high off of
Is your laugh
And within this rapture
When I whisper
that "I love you"
It will never be out of secrecy
But rather out of the certainty
That you literally
Leave me
Breathless

© 2017

i am feeling particularly emotionless today
void of any thoughts
other than those focused on my heart beat

i can still here it in my head
only when i am alone in that house
when it is dark outside
and the night is manipulative

every shadow is yours
but none of them are yours

every sound is your voice
but none of them are yours

i am feeling particularly emotionless today
void of any thoughts
other than those focused on your hands

you are splitting me open like
a ripe pomegranate
my back arching beneath you
I am nothing but you
(and come and go and here and upside down)
you say your chest feels like it is exploding
and smile at me half naked in a sweatshirt
sinking into nothingness (everything)
you are garganta do diabo
(my eight year old self feeling a breath of
endlessness for the first time)
and Utah Beach and Mumbai at night
where I am breathless (breathless)
(I am raw here)
twisting my throat splitting
me open like I have never closed up.

There is a difference between holding your breath
And not breathing at all
One takes a lot more effort
One is the product of carrying too much
The other of carrying nothing at all

When I walk into a crowded room
I will hold my breath until my lungs find a reason to relax
My face will flush and I will eye the exits
And I will imagine any possible scenario that would allow me to leave
Which is to say,
I’d rather be in danger than be here

I’d rather be in a secluded single bed hospital room
Than brushing shoulders with conversations that don’t concern me
Smiling uncomfortably to an offensive joke because
You don’t know me enough to know the fire in my bones
That I could ignite and burn you to the ground.

You also don’t know how I wish I could extinguish that
How I burn down everything I touch
How I wish my embers would die down
Lacking oxygen might not be the worst thing

No, being alone in a crowded room wouldn’t either
Saying unironically that I stand alone in a crowded room
As if it has never been said before- might just be
Or maybe my sparks are burning this poem up too
Ruining its changes

You gotta understand,
The thing about fire is
It is a beautiful beast
A chaotic dancer who knows both sides of
Everything beautiful and everything not


In my eyes fire eats its beauty
It eats the life from inside out as it spits remnants of relics
Too tough to melt
So when we are in the flames
Like our salem sisters we think
How can something
so grand
So intriguing
So important
Be burnt down by a people so ignorant
Only to reveal what is truly important
How could you not see that as a compliment

How can you not see that we are all the flames
And that we are all also being eaten by them
As we consume everything around us in turn
And that maybe we just need to catch our breath.

Who am I to blame for this embargo on words
so suddenly placed in my throat
it chokes me
stifling much needed expression even as my fingers jump
from strings to keys
from pen to soundless paper
life has number and pitch
but no definable English syllables or even enunciations
I am at a loss.
For years the ability to relate chaos and joy
to little notebooks and folders has been an escape
but it is a trap in itself
when there are no words to describe
that which I feel.
Breathless
I am breathless as I pace
aching to turn back the hands of the clock
and regain lost time
lost life wasted when I was a child playing a role
playing a game
breathless is the sensation
that feeds the euphoria of dreaming with eyes wide open
and never needing to wake up to reality
because they have become one and the same
I may be without words
but for better or worse I am chained to these hands
and this heart which can learn
to speak without a sound.

Trace your finger down my spine,
copy my bones,
memorize their brittle notches,
remember the breath under them swells for you.

I loved you in my dreams,
but my life has other plans.