I wake up with nightmares of you.
Yet I desperately crave your touch.
Your voice.
You.

I hate it.
I hate the thought of you.
Only because you broke me like he did.
If only you knew.

I love you so much though.
You are everything to me.
Which is the worst,
Because every day I love you and I wish I could’ve had the love I gave you in return.

My love,
My Sun and Stars,
My Second Chance.
Gone and I’ve lost twice.

She's something else
She's got that magical way about her
That can make me cry or smile
On my darkest of days

But I'm someone else
And I've been hurting forever
I've been waiting a nice long while
For her to make her way

Back into my arms

But she's a wonderful young woman
With all of the dignity
And none of the indignation
And she makes my heart soar

And I'm just a man
With all of the sincerity
And heartfelt elation
I ask myself

What was I waiting for?

Sweet
Subtle
Affection
Is what I feel for you

And that will never change

Abiding
Sweetly
Silently
In my heart made new

Just a crosswalk away
My phone chimes with an "I see you"
It's been a long day
I type out playfully, "I see you too"

Are You okay with me?
Was I sweet enough to keep close?
I'm trying, can't you see?
New year, new you, that's usually how it goes

I guess

You know what’s worse than someone walking away leaving?
Staring right at them and watching them leave emotionally and mentally.

I learned to hate you.
I learned to hate you because,
if I don't.
I will love you.
and if I love you
my heart will open again.
and if I love you
you have a chance to  hurt me again.

I will never understand how you can break someone who loved you.
Just loved you when nobody else believed in you.
Changed myself for you, lost my morals for you.
Stopped caring about me and my trama to hold onto yours for you.

I wonder what you truly think about at night.
Do you wonder how much it cost you?
Was I ever really worth it?
Do you understand how much I’m hurting?

You shattered what was left of me.
Anything I had left to offer was taken almost three years ago and you broke what was left.
Someone you said you loved, and you showed angst towards me.

My heart yearns for you still.
Your scent is trapped in memory.
I wouldn’t come back, I couldn’t.
You broke me and took everything with you.

Some days,
I hate you more than words can encrypt.
Some days,
I miss your arms wrapped around me.
Some days,
I cry to my heart’s content blurred by love and hate.

Even through these days,
I must remind myself you are no longer the person I’ve come to know.
A whole 360 of your life was flipped.

Knowing the person you are,
Hurts a lot.
You were suppose to be it.
The one to change my name.
All out the window.

If I’d know the whole truth,
I still feel like it could’ve been different.
Sadly though we don’t get those chances to see.
Not when enough is enough.
Losing the faith that you’d be different.
Gone.