He said: make war, not love.
So she took out her sword,
named it kindness and killed him with it.

What can a reflection be to itself
Or a falling leaf apart from its mother?
She did not know the answer
She could only scratch her heart until it bled
Like eyes watching lovers that fall but never set

Pilings choking under rising tides
But not high enough to relieve their burden
A wax candle waiting for the torture of the flame
She could only watch knowing its life was short
Soon to join the memories she could never forget

By her rosary she knew somewhere was a blessing
By her cross she knew she was still saved
The stars that had chosen those who would look
Lit the path as she returned to the night sky
As her heart asked if life was only about regret

I’ve said so many things in the night
I bought diamond rings during the light
I’ve felt every emotion you can feel
I’ve swum in every ocean but it’s no longer real
Now I don’t know who I’m talking to

How many more times should I try
How can I pretend to shelter someone
When it’s my cloud that always darkens the sky

I walked through the fields of a stormy night
I lowered my shields because I thought it was right
I think way back when about times I’d live again
But why think about then when I know how it will end
Now I don’t know what I’m going to do

How many more times to ask somebody why
How can I pretend to shelter someone
When it’s my cloud that always tells the lie

I tried to build something better than what I was
Was it about love or just my own selfish dreams
You thought what I said was only for your touch
Love wasn’t supposed to be about lost movie scenes

How many more times to watch love cry
How can I pretend to shelter someone
When it’s my cloud that always says goodbye

I thought I knew her limits
I’d never been that afraid of a woman
But she was just as afraid of losing me
I should have known why she shattered the glass

It was what separated us
The things I once said
While we laid in bed
Promises to make you stay

I thought she would never do it
I’d never seen a woman that hard before
But love was something she knew too much about
I should have known desperation has two lives

It was what separated us
The things I once said
While we laid in bed
Promises that pushed you away

I thought she’d miss our life
I'd never seen a woman that happy
But her crooked smile said you don’t have all of me
I should have known what she was saving

It was what separated us
The things I once said
While we laid in bed
Promises that make me pray

I require no suggestion from Satan to be wrong
or to hurt someone; there is no one or anything
so shallow in my life that I would seek blame in
the underworld

I seem to be looking for the instructions in dark
places because words of wisdom are unneeded
in the light when a smile cleanses my mind of
all doubt

It is so that I cannot see what I must know
when I need it most because true darkness
does not provide a beautiful warning of
it’s approach or leaving

It seems we must walk with an arrow broken
off inside of us; the bleeding has stopped but
the lesson learned and the memory is always
at hand

I’ve been summoned by life more times than
I can count but each time it was only to remind
that I have more time; for every worry, I received
forgiveness

Was it the lies that I told or the one’s that I
believed as I searched that determined my place;
to live remembering the love of a friend as I watch
them begin to love someone else

You had to leave my life
before I really knew you
We were in love so fast
there was no other way to live

You fell all about my life
I didn’t want to clean it up
But now the mess is mine
because what I couldn’t give

Falling out of love
Remembering is easier than forgetting
Walking away is harder than trying
But not if you’re the only one crying

You showed me how easy
it is to move on from my life
Now I have to jump over the holes
that I dug instead of filling yours

How many times did we kiss
I lost count but you didn’t
One day you said I could keep
what was mine but not ours

I didn’t think you could do it
A broken heart doesn’t work like it used to
Maybe someone else can put it back together
But he’ll never know it like I did when it was new

Falling out of love
Remembering is easier than forgetting
Walking away is harder than trying
But not if you’re the only one crying

I am done trying to satisfy you and it feels so good to get you off my back.
I tried to cary you for three years occasionally dropping you to see if you'd react but you were clinging on to me for dear life and while trying to save yourself you were drowning me along the way.
I used to believe that I was comfortable drowning and that it became apart of my human nature that we all ocassionally felt helpless and incapable of standing on our own two feet but the entire time it was you making me feel like I needed a life vest although I already knew how to swim.
Even when the time came to let you go for good to fend for yourself against the waves you still tried to save yourself and tried dragging me down further but I finally held my breath and untied the block you tied to my ankles. Im not gonna lie I did this to you too but I let you think you were free then got scared because you made me feel like I was sinking without you.
But I finally solved the puzzle to my happiness and it doesnt involve you.
thanks for wasting three years of my time.

those beautiful eyelids of yours
darkened by days of weariness
when our eyes met
sparks flew out of control
as the anguish beneath us
reconstructed

pages of adventures followed
the scribbles
the interlocks of legs and fingers
clinging onto me
afraid yet secure

12 days, XII
rapid pace, as i wheeze and heave
you smiled
assuring everything is fine
lips on lips
we will make through this

path of memories and chatters
relishing our experiences
coffee, tea, soup
underdogs of social circles
pondering upon
our similar circumstances

guitar and piano
greenhorn, beginner
rollercoaster melodies
limits as high they were
couldn’t salvage us

12 days, XII
12 divide by 3
that’s how long we lasted
staring into the streetlights
trying to touch you
6 strings, soaked

as i write this in the time of XII
keys and strings
they never go well
sober is my name
i’m madly drunk in love
with you, yet
we were not meant to be.

You've stacked the deck in your favor,
but if even one card shifts
the entire house comes crashing down.

Hitting as the dealer holds
you've folded, revealing your hand.
What a Joker you've become!

The bluff has fallen on deaf ears.

singing the songs
i once thought would last forever
but now gently slip
to the heart of my lover
to empty it
with barely a shudder