the space between
waking and forgetting
where the mind is the
siren call voice of another
as, next to me, you whisper
really, I’m...

'1. List of things that I can no longer be:
A Viking
A Sorceror
True

2. List of things that no longer taste as good:
Angel delight
Dip dab
You

3. List of things I still might do:
Stay
Leave
Get a tattoo

4. List of things I no longer build:
Rockets
Carts
Bridges

5. List of things I will no longer do:
Marry
Light fires
Tie shoelaces

6. List of things I will always know:
The scent of your sleeping
The lengths of our bodies
You and I, touching

I can’t love you here,
But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you.
You think after all the time we’ve been together,
And all the things we’ve done that I don’t have feelings for you?
I have enough feelings to fill a-whole-nother universe,
Galaxies worth of lazy days, lying in bed, smiling,
Planets and moons and suns all covered with homemade breakfasts,
candle lit dinners, and sunday drives in the country.
The abyss of blackness is our nights,
The never ending darkness lit only by my love for you,
By the passion filled evenings and young hours of the morning.

So when you tell me the reason we aren’t together is because i don’t want to be,
That is and never was true,
The reason we aren’t together is because the vastness of space isn’t enough to hold us,
At least not with everyone else.

I remember when you were spring in my arms
When we were close we knew why our eyes came together
But what was shelter for my soul fell to my bare feet
The nails dug into my heart and so did the stormy weather

What was once a free life is now a guilty existence
You said look into my heart and I’m trying to think that way
I thought I would know by now how to feel about love
But there is a shadow made without light that won’t go away

Why are we wasting away
We can’t sleep
We are so suspicious
All we do is weep
We can’t make a life
Our sadness is too deep
I need a reason for me to stay

I can’t beg or be angry any more than you can my love
The rest of the world can’t see inside our closed windows
We need to find out how much we want for our own life
We can hurt each other or try to make light without shadows

I always was the lucky one
You said I had a guardian angel
But what I thought was a cool breeze
Was only her flying away

Why are we wasting away
We can’t sleep
We are so suspicious
All we do is weep
We can’t make a life
Our sadness is so deep
Give me a reason to stay

Everything he loved was buried under the disbelieving mound
The grave held him up as he leaned on stiff grieving hands
The rain fell without remorse as his fingers sunk into the mud
It reminded of her once smiling toes disappearing into white sands

He knew his apprenticeship to life would run off with next sunrise
The mud crushed his temples until all that was left was guilt
He remembered that he was alive as everything became real
He found only emptiness in the very place their love once built

He couldn’t leave because the traces of his hands were washing away
It would be their last moment together though she had already left
He thought to reclaim the imprint that she left on sandy shores
But they were gone as muddy waters raised the tide to lay love to rest

You noticed before you knew
But nobody told you what to say
What your eyes saw in them
Is not what you see today

But you made your choice
And wanted them your way
Now the end seems near
Why do you want them to stay?

All those years
Who was right
Who was wrong
Both of you forgot
It was so complicated
Now you have to decide
Can you be what it is that you’re not

You can’t stop a river
Unless you build a dam
But their words still ring true
“The currents will is who I am”

Did you ever know a time to be free?
You built a life but the hurt still lasts
We regret our mistakes and try not to look back
But life doesn’t grow in ways that buries the past

All those years
Who was right
Who was wrong
Both of you forgot
It was so complicated
Now you have to decide
Can you be what it is that you’re not

I wake up constantly everyday
With the same thoughts in my head
They make me weak
They tear me to shreds
You ripped my soul out
And I guess it's something
I knew I should always be afraid of
I let down my guard for you
Just so you could play me
For some fool
But I'm not a fool you see
I'm wiser than you'll ever be
I still love you
And that's truly what's killing me

She watched me down the river
The bend arrived too soon
She wanted to cry
But I left alone
I told her nobody got me
And the way I said goodbye
Was the way somebody talks before they die

I knew how to love her
But it would have been an act
And she would have fallen for it
That's why I can't come back
I helped her walk away
I acted crazy enough to save her
How she would describe it mattered
And I made sure she knew what to say
I didn't want her to live with regret
So I took it with me
I wanted to bury it along the shore
Where only a loner knows the way

What stands between us is time.
Schedules, plans, events--
Every second, every minute, every hour
We are travelling apart.
I think of you when my time is
No longer occupied
But isn't it that I'm supposed to
Think of you all the time?

What stands between us is distance.
You are a hundred miles above sea level
And I am already drowning below.
By time you jump off the sea to save me,
(Will you? Will you?)
The ocean has already wrapped its arms
Around me and yet they say,
Distance does not matter.

What stands between us is fear.
I say to the mirror,
I love you.
I say to the mirror,
But I'm afraid we're not working out.

What stands between us is them.
A girl smiles, a guy winks.
That lab partner has accidentally
Brushed your arm,
And he held my stare for too long.
"You know he'll eventually find someone there, right?"
"You know someone will eventually whisk her away, right?"
Eventually. Like we cannot do anything about it.
(We can, though.)

What stands between us is us.
You grin back, I blushed.
Our world was filled with only two pairs of eyes.
Our separate worlds is now invaded with too many.
That hole in our gut that says 'I miss you.'
Has been ignored too often
We mistake it for stress.
We mistake it for something else.
We mistake.

(We can do something
But the thing here is
We probably won't.)