If you're sleeping are you dreaming?
If you're dreaming are you dreaming of me?
I can't believe you actually picked me.

I know you care because every time I don’t answer your texts at night I wake up to texts in the morning saying that you love me and that you hope I am okay.

There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. But I am a rollercoaster ride baby.
And all you do is try to come along with me but I push you away.
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways that make me want to wish I never put you through this
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

I’ve been doing good with my diabetes for several months now and that only one of many things you have helped me with.
I want to thank you for staying up with me on those long dark nights when all that was on my mind were blades and bullets.
And when I was starting internal conflicts with myself you were there to make peace.
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicide. You complimented me when I hated myself.
So I’ll walk so far away that I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind
But when I turn around to take one last look at you
I see you mouth the words  “How can you do this to me?”

If you're sleeping, are you dreaming,
if you're dreaming are you dreaming of me.
I can't believe you actually picked me
You should just hate me.

I check you out a lot. I will never lie about it.
When I think you’re not looking I catch a glimpse out of the corner of my eye, a glimpse that will have to hold me over till I can have more.
When I check you out I notice the small things, like the way your brown hair tickles your neck, or how every step you take has personality in it, I notice the smiles in your eyes.
I look at you and think about how I was to show you off to the world but at the same time i want you all to myself, because you're mine.
In that moment I want your body and your mind all to myself.
I want to taste your lips.
I want to hear your breathing.
I want to feel the outline of your rib cage all the way down to your hip bone.
I want to see your chest take deep breathes of good and exhales of bad.
I want to smell the strong sent of cologne that brings me back to the first time I met you.
When I check you out I also often think to myself, does he check me out as in detail as I do him?
Does he look at me when he thinks I am not looking?
Does he crave my body and my mind like I do his?
When I lie down next to him does he watch me make suddle movements, like breathe or close my eyes?
Does he lie next to me and want me in the most unromantic way?
Does he look at me in public, around his friends and say to himself....
****, I can’t wait to get her alone.

It's midnight and
I'm awake and
I miss you.

It's been a week since we've touched
and I don't know how much longer I can go on
because I'm addicted to you
and your love.

Oh God, I miss you.
I miss you so much.