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emma l Dec 2016
I WANT YOU TO KNOW ME /
i want you to know /
my favorite novel
i want you to know /
why my eyes light up
when i look at the ocean
i want you to know /
that when i wrap my hands around your neck
it means i want your lips on mine

I DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW ME /
to remain liked
i must be unknowable /
to keep you next to me
i need to hide

I DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW /
about the way that i shut down;
i break /
i shatter /
the breeze blows by /
and i put myself together again /
whiplash

I DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW /
that my feelings hit like a hurricane /
and last half as long /
i drop,
drop,
drop /
through the floor /
through the ceiling /
where is my head?

I WANT YOU TO KNOW ME /
i want you to know that
i believe you hung the stars

I DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW ME /
i don't want you to know that
when i'm feeling that i don't fit /
i steal those stars /
and swallow them
emma l Dec 2016
YOU, LIKE THE OCEAN /
are going to swallow me whole

LIKE THE TIDE /
you will be drawn to the sad moonbeams in my chest /
you will rise /
higher and higher /
until my heart is in your hold /
until you've got it captive /
and then /
you will shrink away

YOU WILL RETREAT /
to the depths of the sea /
you will spit out my heart /
like a sunken ship /
or a beached whale /
leave it shriveled up on the shore /
and roll back with the waves into a place where i can't follow

YOU WILL BE BETTER WITHOUT ME /
you have always been better without me
emma l Dec 2016
YOU ARE A FORTUNE /
i sat down with a teller
i told her to read me
she saw you in my dreams
she saw you standing in the doorway of my desires
your face was in all of my cards

YOU, LIKE THE UNIVERSE /
simply happened
i stumbled across you on my way home
and realized that i was meant to be going in your direction all along
followed you like a compass
off-road, into the trees
you radiate warmth and i'm drowning in it
home

I AM NOT A CHAMPION /
you are not a prize i won fairly
(unworthy,
unworthy,
unworthy)
i don't deserve this
but god, if it isn't everything i want
emma l Dec 2016
I AM ONLY TOUCHED BY YOU /
MY RIBS HAVE BEEN WAITING SO LONG /
FOR SOMEONE TO PRY THEIR WAY INSIDE

MY SPINE GROWS STRONGER BY THE DAY /
I THOUGHT I FELT IT CRACKING

THESE HANDS WERE MADE TO HOLD YOURS /
THE SMALL BONES INSIDE
FUSE

MY KNEECAPS SHAKE LIKE AN ADDICT /
YOU'RE THE EARTHQUAKE IN MY LEGS

YOU TAKE THE ARMS /
I'LL TAKE THE LEGS /
THROW THIS BODY OVERBOARD /
I DIDN'T WANT IT ANYWAY
Joanna Rose Aug 2016
My demons cannot be found under my bed
They are not hiding in my closet
Or dwelling in my basement
They used to be there when I was young
I was thirteen years old when that changed
They slithered up my neck and gnawed through to my brain
Curling around it and sinking their claws in
Their eyes resting behind my eyelids
Their forked tongues controlling my words
They became a part of me
A disgusting ugly part
I gave them different names
Anxiety
Depression
Borderline
Anxiety is the smallest of the bunch
Crimson like blood
Always jumpy
Always ready to ruin my day
Depression is a real ******
Pitch black from head to toe
Beady eyes always filled with tears
He tells me daily that I’m not good enough
I believe him
Borderline is by far the ugliest
She is scaly and green with long sharp talons that are always covered in blood
Milky white eyes
She makes me blind to all of the love that I receive
Ugly mood swings and whispers of, “They’re going to leave,”
I wish she would just go away
I’m sixteen now and they’re still there
My brain being ripped to shreds by their talons
They are dark and they are evil but I will not let them **** me
I am a fighter
I can slay these demons
Even if it takes years
I know I have what it takes
Anxiety, depression, borderline personality disorder. I've struggled with these three disorders for three years. There have been so many times where I've wanted to give up, but I haven't. If you're going through something like this please keep your head up. I know you can slay your own demons too, I believe in you.
Shay Jul 2016
The world lays within
a tranquil subdued sleep
all the while I'm marking my skin
with the silver tip digging in deep.
And although I drown in tears as I cry
and wish to go beyond the veil,
the world just keeps on going by;
and instead, I put an end to my tale.
Shay Jul 2016
Explosions of blue and purple cover my skin;
like fireworks where raining punches have been,
and my scarlet gashes are dolorously healed;
harsh memories of my war on the battlefield.
Lavina Akari May 2016
i am not a human, i am a mirror.
i have no identity, there is no 'me'
do you like what you see?
Shay Jun 2016
I can see the tears behind your brave smile
even though you keep your head held high mile after mile.
I know of the pain you bear in every inch of your heart and soul;
it spreads like wildfire through every fibre of your being & you're no longer whole.
Kathryn Jun 2016
Days like today I miss you the most
When it hurts inside and I have no one to talk to.
Today’s hard my anxieties  crippling
I can feel it in the core of my chest
Spreading outward to my fingertips,toes,even the ends of my hair
I considered ripping the strains from my head
But what does that accomplish?
Nothing but bald spots and more regrets  
The poisons already in my veins
We both know its a **** up in my head
Just a chemical **** up...
That's what I try and remind myself
On days like today...
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