Oh, you swamp me with charm - get out of my head.
There’s something about you - a warmth - like the comfort of home - that pulls at me.

I study your landscape of attractive surfaces like a star chart - logging my weaknesses - to strengthen my emotional firewall. I WANT you but my “wants” just seem untrustworthy after recent deprivations.

To be honest - I can’t afford you - not now. You’re a delicious pastry - with strings - and I need to cut all my strings.

You’re something younger me would have wanted - before the pandemic, when scandalous thinking was uncomplicated and freedoms taken for granted.

Last year simplified my reality.

Over time, boredom melted me like wax but a new me crossed some threshold of certainty - that to flourish - no, just to survive - I must become more than I am, or find I’m less than I hoped.

In 2019 goals seemed way, way someday things - far off reference points to seek out - like an inchworm. Social details occupied me like an unfocused dementia - there was an unacceptable level of childish thinking.

But now I’m an escapee on the run who won’t be taken back alive. Old attachments must be stripped down and the old world made disposable - if I’m to achieve escape velocity.

We joined ourselves
Mind, body, and soul
Is that not forever
You must've known some magic
I didn't
And had the heart to cast it
Because I didn't

.............I found
    some           words
that                              I
can                         use
       to                 bind
            you with

I was the calm, you were the storm
I'd say too much and you'd perform

I can't sing, you won't sleep
The bond won't fade and tries to creep

I still love, you still hate
I thought I saw hope and took the bait

I have grieved, you won't see
Just how much you mean to me

I hear your name, you won't say mine
You broke my heart so I took your shine

You'd never say it, I wouldn't know what for
No one saw me crying on the bedroom floor

There are bonds that can’t be broken.
History spans times farther than us, but there are no I’s in it without us.
Just a bookmark where we left off.
Picking it up & finishing the story.
I told her I would always fold the page so I would forget I already read it.
She was in that way – the way in which a story just gets better with time.
One worth reading again and again.
It wasn’t a good novel without a tragedy.
Ours like a reckoning of a hurricane and tornado colliding.
One made for land & the other sea.
She was grounded in the ways I would never come to know of.
Split people like an earthquake beckoning for their essence to emerge.
I loved her that.
& I always will.
*Page Folded – Chapter 1

We started out as strangers
Then we found out we have so much in common

Soon enough we grew closer and became friends
Now we have spoke of the basic stuff a friend should know

Then one day you was sad
So I became a shoulder for you to cry on and a person with open arms
Just in case you needed a hug
From there we became friends with benefits

We became so close we talked about other personal life
We told each other that we will always be together
I think of her as the Best bestie I could have

We talked and laughed and joked around with each other
Until one thing made us unbreakable
When I finally was able to help you
And called u my sis

Now we can’t break apart no matter who gets in our way
I know she has my back and she knows I have hers