All the love in the world couldn't compare to the love I had for you
If the oceans dried up, rivers evaporated, streams and all bodies of water dissipated
My love for you would fill the worlds water supply and overflow it.
I'm like vine roots growing on your masonry surface.
Hidden in the cracks of your structure walls.
It became abundantly clear that love didn't chemically reconstruct in your brain.
I guess, I'm obsess with being depress over you or obsess in love with you.
But I know history has shown we've always been on completely different terms. All you want is my presence because time has convince you that you miss it. But that's all you want.
I on the other hand don't miss you. I want you in your complete form.
I'm obsess with your pearly white straight teeth . You never needed braces.
I'm obsess with your round shape eyes . They stood out like your round shape cheeks.
I'm obsess with your artificial dimples.
But your face has always looked so perfectly flawless naked.
Your outer beauty will never compare to your inner ugly.
Yet somewhere deep inside your ugliness
I found happiness.
Or so I believed.

Brothers why?
Do you stare out the window
at passing crows.
As they fly north,
Taking your dreams with them.
Sisters why?
Do you stare at old pictures, reminiscing.
Wondering where your hopes went.
They became congualated in picture frames.
Father why?
Do you drown yourself in alcohol and dig your own grave.
You're a hardworking man
And your elixir is home.
Just let go of the drunken hate.
Mother why?
Do you stay at home and let the years leaf you by.
You have a life to live, you had love to spread, and give.
We became leafs blowing in the wind
With no direction.
It's sad to say,
comforts become our family tradition. Conformity slowly killed our pride and foundation.

I had dinner again at our favorite Japanese ramen restaurant
I sat next to your fading presence and the lucky cat statue
Had the usual ramen noodles, pork broth, spicy miso, and your favorite side dish
Then got drunk off a pitcher, hot sake, and your absence
A crowded room leafed over until
I was the last one to leave
I sat in my car out in the parking lot listening to your favorite acoustic song "I don't mind"
Then clarity opened the passenger door sit and sat next to me
I realized that night, during that moment
That being alone wasn't too bad but I was still completely lost without you

Love & hatred gave birth to her
Envy & anger consumed her
Betrayal & jealousy perfumed her
wrapped in a dress made of irony
*Disarrayed strands of hair fell upon her resentful & suffering eyes
She was a complexity of passionate human emotions thrown into disorder
But she was beautiful like the unfurling of scattered cherry blossoms blooming in winter.

Falling in & out of love with you
Is a lot like walking into a library...

I awoke covered in autumn leaves under a dying tree.
A dead cold breeze flees & returns through out me.
As if I had holes in my body & the wind doesn't acknowledge me.
Melancholy fog shelters this cemetery
While I lay here, my face against the graveyard grass.
My head tilted to the right, staring at written dates on tombstones without engraved epitaphs.
There lays the buried graves of my past selfs

If the ghost of Sylvia Plath
would haunt my mind
Inspiration would ignite
like the strike of a match upon
the lips of a cigarette