Give me a god who is Love

not like pink cutout butterflies
on the sad cinder block walls of
a Sunday school daycare

but like how you can’t sleep at 2 a.m.
remembering the first time you
tasted your girlfriend

or how you run inside during a
thunderstorm because you don’t
want to get struck by lightning or

when your foot can no longer
touch the bottom of the ocean
and you panic because
it’s all Just Too Big

don’t offer me your supermarket
god picked out to match your
buttercup kitchen curtains

give me a god who dances
naked and scandalously
in the rain

I was born warm and lonely
An ocean to swim free
Gold and empty
Suffocating
A mother’s warmth sung saintly

Lord above and beyond
Father never felt so strong
As the days he made currents over headless homes

She would kneel like mother Mary
Lips quivering haste
And he’d raise his arms to the heavens
To strike her ablaze

Every Sunday morning
I’d watch her sing through swollen lips
So filled with veneration
For a God that couldn’t exist

No hymn that left her
Ever helped her
God save her
******* save her

I was born again on a church pew
Where I left my rusted cross beside my youth

Is
Is not
these two
no more

Actual

Fact is
There are only
two types if people  
those who believe
and the zeroes

ity

On
Off
True True
It's skewed really
False False
By its own nature

Exhibit A
was it G?
everything exists
evident in hard lines
proof

Even backholes

What if

proofing
God
equates
proving
Art

Truth is the product of the pursuit of knowledge.
Though most people, I have found, do not embrace but fear knowledge.
I believe this to be due to the fact that knowledge is something that cannot be tailored to an individual.

What is, is.
Whether you like it or not.
Knowledge can often be daunting and go against the very foundation of everything you hold "true".

But truth is not there to keep you complacent, it's there to drive you, it's what you should live for.
The pursuit of knowledge is an ongoing process, constantly evolving.

One day you can feel without a shadow of a doubt that you "know" something,
and the next day be proven utterly wrong.

This is why it confuses me so that people hold steadfast to antiquated "truths",
catalogued by humans, and passed down through generations.

Like high school gossip, slipping from one grimy hand into the next,
riddled with the stains of ignorance and manipulation.

Knowledge can often isolate.
Spark hatred in those comfortably numb.

But those on the pursuit are not to be feared or confined,
they're to be celebrated and joined!

Because truth is freedom, and it will only unify.

Don't give up, don't give in.

I've laid the shovel down
And light a candle,
Though I hardly remember why.

I've grieved for the niches
Of para-pschology,
And a general spirituality.
The out-of-body vacations,
The near death revelations.

I pine for the oaken smell
Of pews in a row;
The creak of ancient kneelers,
A red bright sanctuary light.

I am pagan,
Meditating in a copse.

Do atheists
Privately pray
For God to say:
******* Off!