I was sitting there quietly when
Suddenly all of the clouds cleared up
In an instant I felt as if I had experienced ecstasy
It was lovely, it was sweet
I had always been waiting for this moment
I always put too much effort in trying to grasp it
And therefore I lost sight of it almost as soon as I found it
Maybe I’m delusional
Just because the sky cleared up,
It doesn't mean that there will be sunshine
I was prepared to feel the warm rays on my face
But after a glimpse, they left me in my solitude
It showed in my face and it showed in my appetite
Everyone could see my discontent
My mother didn't hesitate to point it out
I guess I wasn't made to feel content
I wasn't meant to have crazy, wondrous joy
Look me in the eyes
And say “You’ll be okay.”
Instead it kicked me in the face
And cried “You fool! You crazy fool!”
Then it dawned on me how overrated the sun was
And it occurred to me that the stars are just as beautiful

I seem to be the only one that knows how to cite my writings anymore (O'Donnell).
Nobody but I understands the difference between APA and MLA
(Which in reality sounds much scarier than it really is).
Yes, citation is more than plugging a URL into citemypaper.net and copying, pasting, repeating.
Don't you ever want to learn to do for yourself and not through asinine websites that get it wrong half the time anyways?
Nobody cares enough to work hard, learn good... Excuse me, learn well.
Nobody gives two ***** about good grades and class rankings.
Just less competition for me, I guess.

But no, this is something bigger than that.
Why am I the only person who cares about where their words come from?
Where are all the people who used to fact check and actually think about what they say?
I just seem to wonder more than others the vitality of truth in words,
Of validity in claims,
And of proof in ambiguous pudding eaten without prior knowledge of its upbringing.
Is it really pudding? Well you won't really know unless you care enough to find out...
And who ever knows if you're speaking words of Gandhi or of Grandma anymore.
Giving a **** used to be something of importance,
Now put to the side with adolescent legend lessons.




I wish I could make you give a **** about this "silly" school project,

But that's not what we're really talking about here anyways.




Works Cited
O'Donnell, E. The Basic Principles of English. Mt. Pleasant:
        Elizabeth, September 15, 2014. Print.

Words define me by people who shouldn’t matter
and of those who do matter.
Friends, family, strangers, bullies.
I live in the shadow of their words,
pinned down by their dictionary of hateful words.

These words squash me
squeezing so tight tears roll down my face.
They cocoon me in self consciousness,
self loathing and feeling of worthlessness.

They grate at my skin
wearing me down.
Few comments here and there
shaking my sanity.
They pierce all previous thoughts of myself
and burn holes in my mind.

I know they,
their words,
shouldn't matter but can you blame me
when everyone in my life
constantly puts me down.
Sometimes on purpose, sometimes by accident.

Its the accidents that make me self destructive.
You think your being nice by telling me,
I can’t have a snack as you think I should stop eating so much
because my clothes look a bit tight this week.
You say your being kind, trying to help me out

but it  k i l l s  me  i n s i d e  and  o u t.

You see we are not forever.
We are walking, talking, floating, Pieces of temporary.
Who will pretty soon fade away into dust…
That's why I don't try to get attached to much.
Because everything that comes,
Must eventually go.
Except for your aura,
And soul.
Temporary forevers.

your touch
it ignites my bones
it leaves me breathless
it leaves a trail of love that I once had
and I hope it will come back

Standing there
in radius 5 meters
Those star shimmering eyes
Whispered
Though you didn't see,
I realized you recognized

Standing here
Almost here
Because when you came
The last one of me remaining was the only

Hey