i hate the way i look when i smile
my glasses make my eyes seem so small
my hair is practically unmanageable my
arms are so short compared to my legs
so when i stretch in gym i can never reach which
makes my gym teacher yell at me and everyone stares
and i start to forget how to breathe and i know
i look like a freak and i don't feel sane
until the end of the day where i go home
only to hear my parents talk about how i never seem
to study anymore and how my two B's in my sea
of A's is a sure sign that i have issues
and i'm too tired to argue and too broken to care
so i just sit there and let them tell me all the different ways i
disappoint them; they'll send me to my room
i'll collapse on my bed and look at the wall and wonder
why i'm such a failure and the tears just spring to my face
and i'm feeling like i want to explode but i have no one to talk to
i used to be able to talk to you but now i'm just a burden
shoved to the back of your head and no
one cares anymore and i can't blame them because they're right
i'm a failure, a disappointment, a waste of space
most nights i go to sleep hoping the next day will be better
even though i know it won't be

so please don't ******* tell me that i'm perfect
just because you like how skinny i am
and don't envy me because i'm a size 0 skinny jeans
because at the end of the day, i go to sleep wishing
i could stop being me

(h.l.)

On a tree trunk, sat a little boy,
Thinking of life, thinking of the world.
His thoughts drifted to a world faraway
Where virtues fell as rain
And hearts spoke when words failed
A land so pure that knew no deceit
Where dwelled the righteous of men
A realm where the ruler and the ruled stood together
A gate of abundant glee opened its way
And a stream of goodness cascaded across
A land protected by valiant sentinels,
Flowing pastures that brewed loyalty
A land that shall remain only in the heart of that little boy,
Who sat on a tree trunk, thinking about life.

you lit a match on my heart
told me your name was trouble from the start
and yet you made me believe that you were wrong about yourself
i still wonder what i would be like if i had known what
would happen from the start after all

darling, you taught me love was like a game of cards and
once you lose you should never play twice

the ironic part is that you've never made a bet and
yet you gamble with desire

and maybe we still would've made it,
after all you always did have a good poker face
oh but what a shame sweetheart you were nothing
but a mirage and hid everything behind a facade
and even though this game of hearts is long over; it ended like
a blaze leaving nothing but ashes in it's wake
i still think about how well you played and if it was all a lie
after all after a pack of cigarettes in and a bottle of gin
you never really had a good poker face maybe
if the tables were turned i would've won but i guess we'll
never know because you taught me that love was
a game of cards and once you lose you should never play twice

(h.l.)