I loved you for a moment, then
that moment was gone-
where once was life again,
now there is none.
I should have held on
to the flicker of light
that briefly flared like winter sun
passionate and bright.
I should have held onto your hand
in case I strayed
but I couldn't then understand
the price to be paid.
I couldn't understand that love
is not necessarily scheduled to arrive,
not stapled to a plan, that kind of stuff,
not an adjunct to being alive.
I knew only not to renew,
something I casually dispensed with;
I know when something is through,
when remembered with grief-
I said goodbye to what might have been
to quiet walks, caresses and days in bed,
I said goodbye to a beautiful thing
half remembered, once alive, full of wonder, now dead.