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There is an inexplicable sadness reserved for
the melancholy moments when we accept that the
one we love does not love us back.

There is an inexplicable feeling we get when
all we are forced to drown in are the pools of
sorry's that are thrown at our ears, mercilessly.

There is an irrevocable pain we feel in the pit
of our stomachs, things we never thought we could
feel, worse than any physical pain, worse than the laps
we have ran around endless fields of thought in
our mind, when we hear the words whispered quietly
and under held breath, uttering
"You deserve better than this."

I do not. I do not want better than this. I deserve you
and everything you have to offer and everything you have
to give.

But resignation to the inevitable is something we all
must learn to do, just as the flowers learn how to bloom
even after the harsh winter storms.

Maybe I will be okay, I just need some time to bloom
into something beautiful once again.
Fighting back tears, it pains me to hear
The word that always lingers throughout my thoughts
The word that makes me cringe in sadness
The reason I don't wear dresses that are strapless
The reason I could never be an actress

My confidence is lacking, the word is attacking and hijacking
My mental and suddenly I'm adapting
To the rage burning in my heart like everlasting matches
It burns me to say it, but I say it all the time
To remind myself of why I will always have to lie
Cause when people ask me questions, I always say I'm fine
Even though I want to lie in the puddle where I cried
And drown myself slowly, but not necessarily die
Just come back alive, more beautiful this time

Pressured by society and everybody by me
That being pretty is the goal cause in the real world no one will lie to me
Nowadays a girls dream is to be able to drop jaws
Be admired and complimented and leave people staring in awe
Be stunning, not even perfect, but have minimal flaws
Why do insults flow easily and no one thinks it's wrong?

Ugly
The word unflattering itself
And us as insecure, are disgusted with ourselves
And sometimes we break down in the mirror yelling for help
Cause who is truly happy when they wish to be someone else?

Ugly
Scars lacing our bodies
Speaking loud enough when our thoughts get a bit foggy
People stare at these memories and tell us we're crazy
It decorates the pain like a poisonous pastry

Ugly
Why is it that we constantly hear
This word that some might consider their biggest fear
It's embarrassing, degrading, it weakens us deeply
I wear all black and walk through the hallways discreetly
I want no one to notice who I am anymore
I have locked my true self behind bars and steel doors
Cause I have a secret wish that one day maybe I could be adored
But my reflection isn't the reason that I am so destroyed

It's ugly
That word has broken me down
That I cry anytime there isn't anyone around
And it's amazing to see how many people are self conscious
Over this word which in itself is monstrous and obnoxious
Nowadays I wonder if anyone has a conscience
Cause if they did, why would they continuously spread all this nonsense?
You can't brush it off like its stupid and it isn't constant
And like it doesn't turn people from confident to rotten

Ugly
One day hopefully, I'll break out of this mindset
Cause it's kept me from doing things which I now seem to regret
It's kept me from happiness and the feeling of tranquility
And dragged me to the hell where lies depression and hostility
And now I long for a day where it will all happen so suddenly
I will look at my reflection and will say

"I'm not ugly."
Wrote this a couple weeks ago and sadly I'm still struggling with my insecure and confidence issues, as I have been for years. It's difficult always being self conscious but I don't know how to change. It's a constant battle within in myself. But oh well.
 May 2014 Stacie Lynn
GreyJunebug
You were suppose to hold me tight at midnight
You were suppose to tell me I am beautiful
You were suppose take me out and show me off to your friends and family
You were suppose to kiss me every day
You were suppose to tell me that I was the one
You were suppose to say I love you
But instead you were with her
The girl you claimed that was your friend
The girl you said you did not like the way you liked me
The girl you kissed in public
You held her like she was a diamond
You kissed her like she was beautiful
You loved her like she was the one
You were right, you did not like her the same way you like me, you loved her and liked me.

-Susan
If he or she can not say they love you and mean it, then darling, it is time to move on.
 May 2014 Stacie Lynn
Tara
Why do i always do this,
i always seem to be that one,
who try a little too hard,
for people who would only put half the effort in.
 May 2014 Stacie Lynn
Theia Gwen
It's impossible to know a person
Really, truly know them
Until you have a conversation at 2AM
Right before you fall asleep
The most human you can be,
There's no wrong or right
Just words filling the silence
Let me see your insecurities,
Your dreams,
Tell me things about you
That I wouldn't know
Remind me I'm not the only person
With problems and that
No one's exempt from suffering
I want to hear it all
Your heart and mind
There's no better time
For a lobotomy
No better time
To not be alone
I'm glad we got to philosophize
Because you don't really, truly
Know someone
Until you converse at 2AM
And it was a pleasure to meet
2AM you
At a sleepover me and my friend stayed up till 2 and we just talked and it was really nice.
 May 2014 Stacie Lynn
Tara
Untitled
 May 2014 Stacie Lynn
Tara

i know its terrible but cut me some slacks i dont do this often and i really wana try this stuff because poems are freaking art and beautiful and yea.
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