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Ha
Its been awhile since I've smiled
Life doesn't care
I don't like how sad I've been
Time just goes on
So maybe I need to relax
There is beauty in everything
And simply take a really deep breath
Sit back and smell the roses
And then maybe, just maybe
Hakuna matata
I'll be able to smile
When you can't find anything to be happy about, let happiness find you.
 Nov 2015 Xiao - SparKticas
Neex
You walked past me,
I held my breath,
I don't know why,
But my head told me that,
That's the only way it could cope.
I actually don't know why,
I don't even really talk to you,
But it felt as though it was the right thing to do,
Wait what?
Ugh.
 Nov 2015 Xiao - SparKticas
Neex
Can you like,
Not totally get broken this time,
I mean,
Use your eyes,
Watch where you're going,
Don't fall too hard,
You know how easily you get hurt,
So like,
*Be careful.
I'm trusting you too, my heart can't do this all by itself, I'm gonna need your help.
Being suicidal
Doesn't mean you try to take your own life
Sometimes it means
Pushing others away
So you have less of a reason to live
And waking up Evey day
And just saying "**** it"
To everyone who walks your way
Sometimes it means
Eating less so you'll die of starvation
Or not wearing a jacket
So you'll get sick and die
Or not looking both ways
Before crossing the street
Because you don't care if you get hit by a car
Or cutting your wrist so you feel numb
Sometimes it means
Hiding every emotion
Deep down
Until you finally break
Scaring everyone away.
 Nov 2015 Xiao - SparKticas
Neex
See,
I wouldn't say that I don't miss you,
But I don't think I need you,
Not too much,
Not anymore.

I mean,*
I'm not better;
If anything,
Things are worse,
But that craving that you once gave me,
That craving for you,
Is possibly non-existent now.

I warned you not to make any promises,
I warned you about the others,
I warned you that I'd be stress,
I warned you,
But you're difficult,
I kinda wish you weren't.

Don't worry,
I've met new people,
Amazing people,
Not like you,
But that might be a good thing,
Or a bad thing.

These people are here,
For now at least,
But I won't fall,
Or so I say,
I don't fall easy,
But I fall hard,
Maybe I won't fall this time,
For whatever charm that is placed,
On me,
But,
I can't make any promises.

Now the main question is,
And I hope you're curious to find out too,
Do I still have feeling for you?
Déjà vu,
Well,
Maybe I do,
But nothing worth feeling,
But how can I be sure,
When you've been gone for so long.

I'll go mad,
Again,
If I let myself think about you,
Again,
You were right when you said I shouldn't,
But we both know I'm stubborn,
And determined,
But I've lost hope,
Kinda like our friendship.

I need to move on,
I need some help to move on,
But you've made me less trusting,
**If that's even possible.
I really need to stop bothering you guys with this crap.
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