These are the shorts that I wear
When I wear shorts
I don’t really have other options
I swear, I wear either the one pair or
I wear the nearly identical shorts with the paint

I’ve got paint on about half my shorts
But I only have two pairs of shorts so
They’ve all been half-paint-splattered

If I can keep one pristine moving forward
For, like, well, forever, or at least until
I buy replacement shorts
I could bury the shame
With a bundle of unmutilated athletic shorts
I’ll never wear to a gym

They’re more actively loungewear but
Amazon gave them the name
I’m an athlete, you betcha
Just look at my shorts

Most of knowing each other these days is acknowledgement
Smiling, waving, a head nod
We don’t talk as much as I’d like, but
I don’t have it in me to reach out in earnest
You’ve probably noticed the distance
Occasional texts and shared media make up
The meaningful moments we’ve shared
For a while - it’s been a bit more than a while now
But I still like you
I probably love you, I do, but y’know
We both work so much
And we don’t work together
We haven’t for years now
It’s crazy it’s years now
When you and I live
Not an hour apart
If it’s more - maybe walk faster
I don’t know - anyway

You should know what’s on my walls
I should know your new address
The way your monitor is angled
All the games that you’ve been playing
Your whole setup must be like
Y’know, the feng shui has to be just - yeah

I don’t invite you to much anything
These days you wouldn’t like it here
I do, of course, but it’s not us
And I love us y’know
You and I immersed in games or
Movies, shows, or something
Some expression of ourselves
Expressed by someone else
You point out which one’s me and
There you are engaging with me
We don’t even have to do whatever
We did on the screen
They did us for us

This one piece of art I made
Looked like a **** and *****
For more than a year
Before it was a woman
Though it was always a woman

I was so frustrated to have people
Celebrate this woman I saw
As a big ol’ **** and *****
But I could see it

Still, it is a woman
In the painting
Crazy to see
What my audience sees as
Apparent **** and *****
As such an obvious
And alluring
Example of womanhood

Somehow general procrastination
Made a ******* statement
And I’m so impressed
While I refuse
To think I chose this
In a moment of genius

**** me
Life happened
There it is

You never said what made you heart react
That one time
When you heart reacted to that video
The video on Instagram?
You didn't interact with anything I sent for
Maybe twenty videos, y'know
I know - I send too much
But finally I got one right
I wanna get it right again
With zero context pretty much
You'll get a lot of
Like just lots of
Tons of really
Martial arts reels - exhibitions
And jokes like that one
You know the one
You double tapped it
Pull it up
In your activity
Your likes
It's really funny
But not -
No I saw that too, but it's -
No, I think -
Maybe? Wait -
No, you should check your messages
Impatiently
Your messages, uh-huh

The closest I'll get to almost opening
That infamous browser app
The one shaped like a stamp
On my LG enV Touch
The wavy blue thumbnail
That one
Or the rotating Earth
The one led by an arrow
On another LG
It's a flip phone
I don't know the name
But the first one I had
I might add
I just did
It's been added
Is probably opening apps
That alert other people
To my sleeping habits
It's five o'clock
I'm out back smoking
And check Instagram
Then remember my mom
Asking me why I'm up
On her schedule
And swipe up as if
She'd be charged for that ****
And she is
What an angel for paying
For me to have
PHONE
Not the same as it was
Frantically tapping before I'm punished
Or I have to say why I did what I did
Same and not in some ways
But as close as I'll get

Every moment of your life
Could be a different moment
Is a different moment
In your very own Spider-Verse
TVA-pruned timeline
Marvel garbage science

Assuming that's reality
I roll up a spliff and smoke it
I roll up a spliff and don't
I smoke just the cannabis
Or smoke tobacco
Or don't smoke at all
Unlikely here and now, but
I could choose to
Choose not to smoke

And every choice I make
I also didn't
So potentially I'm something
Or else something else
But everything I am
Or I become
I'm not
And I will never be

To breathe
Or not to breathe
To clean the house
Or finally apply for jobs online
Once I update my resume
Or make some kind of tangible progress
Or none of that
Some version of none of that

Dancing like
Spinning is
Basically
What dancing is
Touching more than
Either of us touches
Dizzy now
Falling and
Catching ourselves
In a moment
And you get
Into them
I want to
Share in your
Joy -
Don't change the song, not yet
I just got into it
Once we can breathe again
We will be over it