Failure may seem to be a demon latched onto your soul
but fear not for his hold is weak
For he knows you are destined for more
You were born to be the best
and that soon enough
You will step on failure's ugly head
and move up with no fear
Your love pushing you to be the better
Until soon you become the Jack Sparrow of the seas
but hopefully without the thieving
A Captain with a course of his own

You are destined for better
Let no one tell you different
The demons will fail their goals
To break you down
For I know one day you'll reach yours

And I love you
Everyday
Even when the floods wash away humanity
I will love you
When the air turns poisonous and steals it from our lungs
You will still take away my breath
When the grounds open up and eat all the vanity we created
Your beauty will shine bright as the only thing that ever mattered
When the cruel fires turn to ash all emotion and care
Your touch will reignite my own unwavering love for you
When darkness will turn out the individuality of our souls
Yours will break apart and merge with my own
Pumping back the memories I almost forgot
I love you till the end of time
And till the universe rips itself apart
I love you when new life slowly sparks up
Atoms joining in a billion year pilgrimage
Till we finally find our bodies and reattach our souls
Strengthen the bond
And our love will  revive the unbroken promise
And live on infinitely

So here it goes

When I told you that I loved you,
I meant it... and maybe I still do?
I search for you in every boy I see
And I came to an understanding of what your type could be
Light eyes with a constant smile and a positive air
The kind of guy that could hug with no care
The kind of guy you could talk to with ease
And whose words are warm and soft like breeze
And that’s the trick
The *****-trap on which you trip

Curse you and that type of yours
That blinded me for years

Curse myself and my heart for falling too easy
I should’ve gave up and not be so greedy
Maybe then I would’ve seen the imperfection of your kind
And change the course of my mind

I wish that I could thank you
But it means a conversation and... that takes two

Oh, don’t worry, I know you’re too busy to spend your time on me
A hopeless girl like me can’t talk with you, and I agree

Honestly, I get it
And I’m glad we split
‘Cause you and me... we don’t fit

Although I saw a lot of things we share the same
But maybe it was only in my eyes... ‘cause I had a flame
You were sparkless when all I wanted was to burn
You shut my brain and I thought with that I’d learn

It’s not your fault, it’s all on me
I’m to blame for keeping my dreamless fantasy
You did nothing wrong
I just shouldn’t’ve kept pushing aimlesslly this long

I guess, maybe I scared you with being too honest
Maybe I’m the reason that you broke your promise

I’m sorry I tried to hold ‘nd tie you up
I’m sorry I followed you when you wanted to break up

So, can I let go of you now?
Because s-o-m-e-h-o-w
You’re still caught up in my heart
And I keep wishing my memories could restart
So that I can pretend
That it never started, that it began with an end

So, can I forget the numbers of your phone?
Can I, please, forget that time we spent alone?
I wish I could forget your name
I wish I could forget the person I became
I wish you and I... were never friends
Because,
            why let it start, when you know it ends?

I understand that we’ve lost... whatever it was that we once had
We were, as it goes, ‘slowly but surely’, falling apart

So here it goes

“Who am i?” thinking about myself,
questioning the things i feel.
Trying to figure out who i’ve become,
and what is real.

I can feel it fading,
the person that i used to be.
Slowly losing all the memories,
that once defined me.

How can i be certain?,
of the things i think.
This unstable boat i’m on called life,
already starting to sink.

No one there to help me,
my forgotten despicable self.
Like an old dusty book,
thrown away on the unreachable top shelf.

Would you love me if  my skin was beautiful
a perfect porcelain
without scars marring my skin?

Would you love me if i had full lips
the delicate kind
that kissed roses everday?

Would you love me if i had a straight nose
a feminine one
that looked perfect from every angle?

Would you love me if i had doe shaped eyes
an innocent pair
that showed my inner purity?

Would you love me if i had an unbroken heart
like those of newborns
trusting and joyful every passing second?

Would you love me if i had a clean soul
white as the first fall of snow
never to have known of darkness and unimagninable hurts?

Would you love me if i had a muscial laughter
like gentle gurgles of a stream
never a note out of place in its symphony?

Would you love me if i spoke in soft tones
never to utter a curse
with diplomacy ruling my tongue?

Would you love me if i was this check list
of what others considered beauty
seemingly the ideal whose hand a task to win?

If you could love me as this
erase meat once from the chambers of your mind
leave no trace of my presence visible
i would be sure to disappoint your wishes and dreams
you held on high pedestals

For i am riddled with battlescars
and my words would only voice my honest opinions
my body breaking the mould of ideal perfection
my heart a shattered vase taped together
my soul steeped in darkness yet riddled with wells of dreams

If you could love my imperfections
If you could love my soul
then you and i could possibly be together
as imperfection but never alone.

Will I ever be strong enough to not cry?
Why does this foolish heart of mine forgive so easily?
Why can't I just stew in my hate for them?
Wouldn't it be easier that way?
Wouldn't hate reduce every opportunity they get to hurt me?
How can I still love them?
Even after every cruel word and blow they dish out?
Would being an orphan have been any different?
How can you miss that which you never had?
Wouldn't my heart be guarded from the betrayal of my own blood?
What did I ever do to be treated in such hurtful ways?

But a mother is supposed to love and support their child no matter what, Isn't she??
Why doesn't mine be there for me??
Does she not love me??