and really, love is the absolute worst, is it not ?

i sat
my body still
endlessly pining over your love and death
how it all felt the same back then
how it all feels seamless now
as i cup the truths in my hands
and tear apart each one
out of my head
onto my temples
i place
my index fingers
and feel what it is
that makes this skull
work
some heavy blood and bone
some heavy love, that's all

She took off everything,
until only innocence was left.
Her world became bigger with
a slice of pain,a gift from myself.

Her skin was white as snow,
Her lips were red as wine,
I saw the halo around her head,
A creature once divine.

She took the shelter from the pain,
Under my broken skin as we kissed,
We kept ourselves warm with our breaths,
As she drank the poison from my lips.

Her angels weeped,i could hear them,
A sad song from the bottom of their soul,
For the part of her that was missing,
The part of heaven that made her whole.

It’s hardest for me on days like today when I hear a new song and I just want to play it for you.
But I know I can’t go there because I’ll never make it back,  I told you goodbye and I meant it when I packed
but it doesn't mean I don’t miss you. It doesn't mean I don’t want you still sometimes too.
I’m better off now, that I know for sure. I just don’t know why I always wanted you more.
Love is flawed and so are we, I thought that made us fit perfectly but I was wrong.
I know now that we were never meant to be, you love you more than you’d ever love me and
If you had to choose between holding the bottle and holding my hand, that’s a contest I’d never win.
I tried to replace the cigarettes with my lips, I tried to catch you but I slipped away
And you never noticed or asked me to stay so here we are. Alone when we didn't have to be.

tracks on the airport road (by planes)
to cleaners it would be stains that cannot be rid of
to people it would be a sight of imperfection and age
but to me
it signifies a routine
of a plane that was sent off
and back again
a routine of safety
a routine that people take for granted

They say that first impressions last

I say

That's assuming way too fast

I'd like to think we're a bit more trusting

That every one we meet isn't busting

Lusting to rip off their pants

And **** the first thing that gives them a seconds glance!

I'd like to think that

But sometimes i can't

Cause just like you

I live the life of a guarded heart

I mean we have to be careful right?

Cause if we smile back that just might

Make someone else think "OH EM GEE.

They totally want to have *** with me."

No, you have some mustard on your lip actually

And i found it kinda funny

You see to me most of our first impressions

Are the false flags of real connections

And if we choose to make those last

Then aren't we just living in the past?


So rather than that, let me be forward.


I want to connect with you, in whatever way we both want it to be.

And that right there to me

Is my definition of equality

I mean

Is it fair to assume that if i'm male

That I'm simply out to get some tail?

That isn't me

And that isn't it

And personally

I think gender roles are *******

So please allow, wholeheartedly

For you to see the real me

Rather than a mirage of assumptions

Society may have you choose to believe

Of what a male is meant to entail....

Truly.
This.
Is.
Me.

I want to share with you the galaxy and it's wonders we can see

We could take our chairs to rooftops and marvel nights beauty

And there may be a moment where your hand fumbles to my knee

And you'd feel me, vulnerable, still, yet shaking anxiously


Because connections what i crave

But it's rationed out these days

Cause just like you,

I too

Cannot bear to be broken, constantly



Truly.
This.
Is.
Me.




I want to sing and play with sounds
Pulling faces jokin' round
Being ridiculous without care
Rolling on a floor somewhere

Or on a bus, or in a bed
Our faces red
Laughing hysterically
It really doesn't matter to me


Because connections what i crave

But it's rationed out these days

Cause just like you,

I too

Cannot bear to be unhappy, constantly


Truly.
This.
Is.
Me.



I want to walk through unknown forests getting lost amongst the trees

Laugh and run and hide and scare each other playfully

And sure right then, we could lie down in the sun

Entwined bodies like soft vines writhing for a deeper connection

Or we could just sit solemly listening to melodies

Of wind whistling through wondrous waves of leaves

None of this bothers me you see. Either makes me happy.

Because connections what i crave and it's rationed out these days

Cause just like you,

I too

Cannot bear to be alone, constantly


But.
Is.
This.
Just.
Me?


So why does all this matter, to connection and equality?

I mean to a huge degree, men do have it easy

That is clearly plain to see

And ladies I know

That we as a society
Have a long way to go

To make sure you are all treated just as equally

Believe you me



But did you know that as a guy

We're mostly brought up to try

To keep our emotions hidden inside?

You can't tell the guys your woe
Unless you want to be called '*****' or '****'


So a lot of times these men

Crying out for connection

Isn't always

What you're thinking it to be

To me, thats the biggest problem men face socially

Stagnant and rampant suppression
Of real connection, emotionally!


And now, connections what we crave
But it's rationed out these days

And just like you,

We too

Cannot bare to be neglected, constantly

So.
This.
Isn't.
Just.
Me.


Cause just like me

I know your scared

You've been hurt and unprepared

To have others use

Abuse and mistreat loyalty

And just like you

I am afraid

I've been wronged

I've been betrayed


And i am just as scared to let go


And be me


Because our connections are depraved

It seems it's rationed out these days


But wait



Hang on a second.


Did you feel that?





I mean, just now we have connected...



So if this notions not rejected

Then maybe there's still a hope

For you and me.


I guess all Im asking is that you find

Compassion in both heart and mind

When a person bares their soul

So openly


Because


This is a connection that we've made

And I hoping that it stays


So maybe someday we can change society