My heart feels like
it's about to shut down
from all the truths
that only I know

People view me
as kind
selfless
heartfelt
with empathy

Yet once they witness
my darker side
this inner demon
that is always
a few steps behind me

Once they see
the ashes and smeared blood
tainted within my mind and heart

I am once again alone
alone to pick up the pieces 
of a love that never was

I would like to have the right
To be alright,
I'd be alright, with all my might.

I've tainted our friendship
with love that isn't platonic;
it's spreading fast,
yet I can only see
it's covering nothing

because like us,
we're nothing

let me pause
these daydreams,
and wake up to a reality
where it was never as it seems,
and you were never there to begin