You may never touch the stars,
        but your life will be infinitely better
if you reach for them anyway.

"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"

It creeps along,
Slinking in the shadows,
Watching, waiting,
Wanting for you to pause,
To hesitate in your movement,
Smirking to itself in a sly way,
Grinning at the goose bumps,
The chills that chase you
Chanting your name,
As it chisels its way
Into your mind,
Catching you as you stumble
On the corner of a slanting stone,
It takes hold of you as
Your wary will makes way;
Your resolve risks crumbling;
Your heart pounds,
Pounding.
Pounding at your mind,
Until you can't help
But to give in again,
Like you have so many times before.
It has you in its clutches,
Grasps so tight to its prey,
Pray for a good outcome,
Or an escape,
A reprieve,
But it has its hold,
It has your bold
Soul screaming out in fear,
You are ensnared.

"And the sun kissed the moon goodbye."

I'm a "knew it all",
who grew to fall.

Stalling out
when duty calls,

I doodle all
my plans on napkins
then I go and lose them all.

Thats what happens
when I mix jack with,
pills that make me moody y’all.

Benzos and some ***** calls
Calling back, to re do it all.

I'll teach you real mistakes,
it took a couple takes

to make me see
the weight of hate and
and lose it all.

if only…

it’s only..
after we lose everything,
that we’re free to do anything,

and many things sound
better than
the petty things

that I’ve seen
especially,

people with no heart or brains,
just a love for testing me.

My patience is so thin,
that I think it needs some bread to eat.

Waste is such a sin, going for the dough
I'll hold out until the death of me.

I’m hungry to the 10th degree.
Motive fueled by debt that needs,

attention.
I’m like dead at sea,

and set to sink.
So I’ll swim to stay afloat

like a shark, I’m stuck
in motion and the pace of the flow, oh no.

I grew up
reading books about
boys
who say things like,
"You're so beautiful,"
or
"God, I can't believe
I've never known you
before"
and they kiss the girl
and they fall in love
and maybe there's a struggle
somewhere in the middle
but everything is
o k a y
and in the moments after
hearing how beautiful
and wonderful
and amazing
she is,
the girl is happy,
the girl is loved,
the girl is l o v e d.

The last boy who told me I was beautiful
didn't listen
when i said
NO
and I sobbed in my own bed
for three nights
and I couldn't touch my sheets
for five
because it takes a long time
to get blood stains out
when you use the cheap washers
in the dorms.

The last boy who told me I was amazing
left me at five in the morning
and said he'd call
and even as he looked me in the eye,
I knew he wouldn't.

The last boy who told me he liked me
said so as he tried to push my head
in a direction I didn't want it to go
and it seems
that all of these compliments
are meant to be segways
into getting something more.

These compliments
have turned into warnings,
red lights,
get out,
get out,
he only wants you
for your body
and I don't know
how I am ever supposed
to believe someone
when they actually mean it
when all I know
is sugar-coated bullets.

I am reading a book
where the boy whispers
promises between kisses
and I realize
I have never kissed anyone in
the light
and I am numb inside
and I do not want to be called
beautiful
anymore because to me
that means I am
about to be shot.

You were born to dance
run free in the wind
don't tie yourself
you shouldn't get stuck in one place

This kite
is not a dancer
it barely noticed the wind
for many many years

The kite is stuck
******* on a lamp post
cold and lonely
but scared to let go

Kite, cut yourself free
let the next breeze
lift you high
and let you be you

I think to be thoughtful
I speak to be heard
I write to decipher
The truth in my words.

I smiled to ensnare you
I laughed to secure
You slipped through the trap
That I built to procure

I kissed to consume you
I hugged to enfold
My arms close on nothing
You're no where to hold

I writhed to entrance you
I clutched you to keep*
Now the place where I hold you
Resides in my dreams.

I write so you'll read this
My hand pens the truth
All that I've written,
I've written for you.

That dress will be fit for you,
when you're undress. **** -- in my eyes,
you are already undressed.
in my mind, my hands
wrapped around you,
as I touch and caress.
hanging on your curves,
loving your tenderness.
The weight of my body,
smothering you into the mattress.
Goosebumps appearing on your neck,
kiss and tease with my teeth,
finding your spot, is my target.
The taste of your hot breathe,
our tongues twist and turn,
speaking a language that is our secret.
warm whispers,  licking your ears wet
soaking your wetness.
I want your body,
more than I want your ***.
I need to take your body,
in ways you will never forget.
I want to please your body,
so if you leave, you will regret.