It's true the heaviest heart writes the prettiest poetry.

I'm hurt. I'm afraid. I'm in love. I'm alone.

I've always hated heights.
I'm afraid of falling.
I'm scared to allow you in.
I put my walls up for a reason.
I've been hurt before.
I'm terrified of love.

And I cant be alone.

Why the hell did I fall for you?
When I was minding my own **** buisness
You walked on the edge of my mind until you found your way in.

Please. Be gentle with me...those walls. They were supposed to protect me.

It's guys like you who remind me to taste the world. Guys like you who hold the fork so dangerously close to my lips. Boys who remind me to love blindly with eyes open wide as to not miss a second. Men who remind me not all will be there to catch me when I fall. Those who leave when complexity shows its perplexing face. This is for the guys no matter how hard you or I or anyone tries won't be able to keep us together.  Or even the boy who knew that from the beginning.  No lie, I hate you. Leaving me hanging for more, fantasizing for weeks, crying, falling, stumbling so close to the edge, crying. But I must admit without you those in-between's would be trill-less. Thank you for making hell a whole lot more interesting.

Hey so take this with a grain of salt because I still can't pull myself from my anxiety to tell you this in person but I **** ed up and don't have time. Ive alwasy been wreck and honestly liking you was unexpected especially because I was talking to a  kid who I thought I liked.  You threw me off guard and it scared me so I threw up my defences. I'm not sorry for my anxiety attack or getting mad. I am sorry for expecting you to just get over it.I'm sorry for thinking you'd understand me without giving you the chance to see me jealous or protective or whatever. And I'm sorry for this ****** "sorry/explanation/confession" cause this isn't like me but I want to get this out of my head so I can enjoy my vacation next week not carrying this lump in my chest. This comes up because I was talking to the guy again and as we talked I was reminded I really still don't know where I stand with you and wanted to push myself to move on if you hated me.  Which you have the right to do so. Ok, enjoy your week!

The day my home turned to a battlefield was the day my mom said I so to a man who tough she loved him is  worth less than dirt in her presence and less than that when she's gone. No lie I picked a side long before the war begun but it is still scary being the only one unarmed.