im doing what hurts me
and i dont know why
i know what thinking about you does
you dont come in waves
you come into my life more like a tsunami
fast and all at once
and just like a tsunami
you destroy everything you touch
including me
and just like a tsunami you dont mean to
its just your job
its just who you are
but who would’ve thought id be in love with something so dangerous
who would’ve thought id be in love with a tsunami

I used to break pieces of myself to fill the holes in you.

every time i try and get over you
just to feel someone else touch
i still feel your lips and i still feel your hands on the small of my back
and i still hear your voice over and over
its like a broken record that plays every time i try moving on
and they always ask why i cant fully commit to them
why i cant have *** with them
why i cant give my all to their relationship

and the answer to that is you when you left
you didnt only take my heart
you also took all the love left in it
i cant tell them that.
i cant tell them i gave my heart to a ******* fool.
i cant tell them i cant get over you.

i've been searching for a feeling
and oh, what a feeling
a kiss that will taste like Marlboro Gold and Captain Morgan at 2 in the morning
a touch that will feel like red silk on my skin
a voice that sounds like my favorite song
something, anything that will make my heart feel full
make my stomach get butterflies
make my head spin in a whirl
but i cant even smoke a cigarette without longing for you
i cant take a shot of whiskey without thinking of you
i cant listen to my favorite song without reaching out for you
and all i want is a ******* Marlboro Gold

your touch is like brushstrokes on a canvas
you’ve painted a thousand times
and I can’t stand looking at
the picture anymore

what is love?

love is soft brown hair
dark brown eyes that are slightly green in the middle
love is 6’1
in khaki pants
love is a yellow tie I bought you at JCPenny
and the navy blue blazer I picked out for you

what is love?

love is an odd sense of humor
and a laugh that makes my head spin
love is Sunday morning with you
listening to Blonde by Frank Ocean
love is sharing cookout french fries
at 2 in the morning

what is love?

who am I
to subject love to one person
something so large
something so beautiful
created by my God
shouldn’t be held back by one body
one soul

what is love?

love was him
love was every moment
every touch
every thought I had of him

what is love?

love is eating my favorite cereal
love is my favorite song when I’m alone on a Monday morning
love is singing in the shower
love is wearing my favorite dress
love is dancing all alone
love is me

what is love?

love is not you anymore

if you could read my mind
oh, what you’d find
I think about our first date
when you got that peanut butter milkshake
and you knew I hated peanuts so you didn’t kiss me
these are things I just wish I couldn’t see
like your red Chevrolet truck
and the place where we first made love
when you told me you loved me
on highway 220
I want to erase them from my mind forever
but even if I had the chance, would I ever?
those moments made me who I am today
and now let me know how I should be treated someday
so when the next one comes along
he has a lot to live up to
because no one will ever love me the way that you do.

the sun burns everything it touches
or at least that is what they say
and if that is true
and if I believe that
then maybe you were my sun
no matter how much you hurt me
I still held onto you like you wouldn’t rise again tomorrow
and even though you hurt me
you also made me grow
like a plant I soaked up your energy and we became one
but now it is night and you have gone
and like a planet I have shriveled into nothingness with the lack of you
and I cant wait till morning so you’ll be back again