i live in fear
fear of resentment
fear of abandonment
fear of myself.
im afraid I won’t amount to anything
that my life will be a waste
im afraid i won’t truly live
that i will be just another cookie cutter
replica of the  blonde hair,
blue eyed girl next door
i can’t live like that
because that’s not living
thats existing

What if I showed you all the poems I wrote
Would you taste the asphalt
I felt
As I sat and scribed
Would you see the graffiti
The street signs, city life
Would it mean anything

All I ever wanted was for someone to listen
I wanted someone to pay attention
To tell me things would get better
And that happiness would last forever
I wanted someone to give me advice
All about my life to notice
I wanted someone to understand
To support and lend me a hand
I wanted someone who'd never leave me alone
To know me from deep inside my bone
I wanted someone to love me
As far as the end of the galaxy
I wanted someone to treat me with respect
To make me feel a little perfect
I wanted someone to make me feel special
And to not make my life seem so small
I wanted someone to wipe away all of my tears
Helping me get over my fears
I wanted someone to be my friend
To always bring my misery to an end

it doesn't matter what I have through the day if I feel alone in the end

i am the best
version of myself
when i am comfortable
surrounded by my loved ones
and knowing there are no time restrictions

tell me
how to
end these fantasies
and i'll happily
let you go

She is but a dream;
a dream that would not fade,
even long after waking up.