"And the heart is hard to translate"

I rush every sunset in its pit of blood
I hold your absence with my bear hands
As the center of the silence I can give to myself
Some impressions of my thoughts of you
Uncertainties embodied by swords
Are roaming the streets in my place
The mirrors chased me away
They refuse to deepen the light
Refuse the clarity of a day
When I am a simple woman
When you are a simple man
I have to prepare my escape routes
Since your fingers smell of apples
The air is full of chemicals
And I stare at the intoxicating hope
My curses explode in hourglasses
There must be a misunderstanding
why did I promise to myself
my heart,
your hell,
our dance,
the resurrection
of naivety
in this body?

perhaps there is no doubt:
I can only love you
       or
I can love only you


and no
yet
but
(shh, oh, my foolish heart!)

I love...nevermind

I thought you...nevermind

Are you and her...nevermind

Can I have your...nevermind

Would you like to go on a...nevermind

Do you like...nevermind

You will never know unless you ask

You were there,
From the time I woke up,
To the time you put me to bed,
As a roof was secured above my head,
You were there, but instead,

You were there,
To make sure I always had something to eat,
And with the perfect seat,

You were there,
Driving me to school,
Getting me there on time,
Just to wait for me to come out,

And you were there,
To let me watch you as you cooked to your favorite tunes,
To show me how to set the table,
And eat together as a family,

Over the years,
You were there,
From the back of my head,
I was like a book you already read,
And with every single detail,
You fixed me in ways unimaginable,

And one day,
You were there,
I did not see it,
But the eyes of the untold did,
We knew not of what you have done,
But the truth of yours told us,

You were there,

The next couple of days became like hell,
From one thing to another,
It became something I couldn't believe, but,

You were there,
Supporting me through what almost seemed like an end to my day,
To cherish what I need,
And stop what I bleed,
Because you kept me living,
And now,

Now you're gone,
And I can't seem to hold on much longer,
What was a part of me,
Was with you the whole time,
And it was something I couldn't take back,
And I miss it,
And it hurts,


...I Miss You

In Memoriam

What's missing is the eyeballs
in each of us, but it doesn't matter
because you've got the bucks, the bucks, the bucks.
You let me touch them, ****** the green faces
lick at their numbers and it lets you be
my "Daddy!" "Daddy!" and though I fought all alone
with molesters and crooks, I knew your money
would save me, your courage, your "I've had
considerable experience as a soldier...
fighting to win millions for myself, it's true.
But I did win," and me praying for "our men out there"
just made it okay to be an orphan whose blood was no one's,
whose curls were hung up on a wire machine and electrified,
while you built and unbuilt intrigues called nations,
and did in the bad ones, always, always,
and always came at my perils, the black Christs of childhood,
always came when my heart stood naked in the street
and they threw apples at it or twelve-day-old-dead-fish.

"Daddy!" "Daddy," we all won that war,
when you sang me the money songs
Annie, Annie you sang
and I knew you drove a pure gold car
and put diamonds in you coke
for the crunchy sound, the adorable sound
and the moon too was in your portfolio,
as well as the ocean with its sleepy dead.
And I was always brave, wasn't I?
I never bled?
I never saw a man expose himself.
No. No.
I never saw a drunkard in his blubber.
I never let lightning go in one car and out the other.
And all the men out there were never to come.
Never, like a deluge, to swim over my *******
and lay their lamps in my insides.
No. No.
Just me and my "Daddy"
and his tempestuous bucks
rolling in them like corn flakes
and only the bad ones died.

But I died yesterday,
"Daddy," I died,
swallowing the ****-*** animal
and it won't get out
it keeps knocking at my eyes,
my big orphan eyes,
kicking! Until eyeballs pop out
and even my dog puts up his four feet
and lets go
of his military secret
with his big red tongue
flying up and down
like yours should have

as we board our velvet train.

Last night I had to cut open a body.
The cadaver begged me not to
But
There's some days I don't understand Even the whimpers of a corpse.
Its high pitched yelp was drowned out by the comedy playing in the background.
The smooth blade intruded the skin.
I saw a tear drop roll from its decaying eye;
I wish I'd wiped it away.

Ping Pong World Champ Andrew Baggaley,
Wow that lad can really play.
Dethroned the “King” who came from Russia,
Then 1966d that kid from somewhere near Prussia.