I can feel myself going stale
paralyzing fear of failure
flooding out my blazing trail.
Face growing paler
forgetting to go outside
still and forsaken, lonely sailor
long gone with the tide.
My teachers used to say I am gifted
where is my prize?
Now I aspire for nothing
and it is no surprise.

Cutting down that giant fig tree
if I can't have it all
I will be nothing
wield my axe, wait for the fall
no one is bluffing.

and I want to know
how long can you stare at the sun
until you are blind?
How much do you give away
before you are considered kind?
I fear I am searching for something
I'm not sure I will ever find.

It's ***** in your shirley temple
sweet like syrup
give me life so simple.
Dad once told you
your mom went mental
punishment for being gentle
mindlessly experimental.
It's not true
she just wanted to leave him
because the baby came and
he won't stop cheating.
Life is hard
you took a beating
I will salve
and stop the bleeding.
Cut my shirt
it's sacrificial
cover up
loud wolf whistle.
Pigtails bouncing
childhood giggle
I'm your girl
your hellfire missile.
Chop the tree
and hang the tinsel
this year is better
almost sinful.
Guilty catholic
death feels massive
give me something
to feel passive.
Life is so short
it just passes
we're too happy
on our *****.

Air is full of micro plastics
I don't care
forgot my mask is
hanging in my
high school classes.
Gone true beauty -
false eyelashes.
You're a show car, you're just so classic
let them ride
when you're high on acid.
Swirling visions
swift collision
I saw you there
in a sick prevision.
Sweet slow dancing
in your kitchen
give me your hand
and let me fit in.
I could save you
cinematic
it's meant to be
nothing tragic.
Saw you crying
in the attic
wasted breath
and wasted talent.
Kiss your check
you're not a has been
tastes like salt lick
compulsive action.
I see you in a
main attraction
replay every
interaction.
Obsessive in
a healthy fashion
filled with longing
full of passion.

Regret every
check I cash in
economic low and
nothings lasting.
Mid life crisis
find your vices
look at you with
blown out iris.
Someday we'll find
a way to fight this
belief of justice
violently righteous.
Simple cheek kiss
idiotic kindness
purposeful blindness
in the face of hard times
someone guide us.

Plump ripe fruit
taken from the vine with a bit of guilt
is it better to turn her into pie
or let it rot and wilt?
I am unnaturally and unnecessarily human
made of sugar and spice
surely this berry would be of more use
fallen on the floor with the bugs and the mice.

Glittering sea glass in the windowsill
I remember the ocean
but I'm lonely still.
I don't want to find happiness
through a tight packed pill
give me a value,
and put it in my untimely will.

I found a way out once
and now it's all I can think about
cold black metal
stuck in an open mouth.
Couldn't punctuate the sentence
now I am without
a plan or a passion
its all gone south.

I'm sharp like a bottle struck on the wall
I remember everything
can't forgive at all.
When will all this damage and tossing
do some good
when will I be handled softly
like pine becomes wood?
Looking for a statue of success
where a mother's first disappointment
once stood.