My body has carried roses on its skin,
let the thorns dig into my flesh,
I never felt a thing,
I smelled the heavens though,
they smell like red roses glimmering in the sun.

I touched Allah and he said I haven’t bled enough,
he put 10 roses on my back and told me to fly,
but the thorns had cut my wings,
“Allah I can no longer fly.”
“Haven’t I drowned enough stones and carried enough flowers?”

He didn’t see the pain in my eyes,
because the pain was not enough for him,
every rose he made me deliver showed me deeper suffering,
my pains never been enough,
my pain will never be enough.

He just wanted me to see how deep, bad truly seeps,
into the blood of innocent people,
washing over their every inch,
no sin could ever break them,
when there’s nothing left to break.

Physically I live here
My veins weave through the house
My limbs dig into the sheets
My voice lingers through each room,
yet I barely feel my own presence

Spiritually I’m on another planet
My heart races with the stars
My soul showers in rainstorms
My eyes dance with galaxies,
but my mind wimpers for a better tomorrow

It’s a choice,
to stay in my own head,
I’ve found solace in my daydreams
discovered a world beyond mine,
but I can never stay there for too long

I get lost in the thought of another life,
because I can’t seem to come to peace with mine
I climb the tallest trees
Just to get close to the sky,
so maybe I could spread my wings and fly

If I hug you tighter, will I imprint you in my arms?
So I can carry you with me,
past the heavens,
past the rain,
past the pain.

I’ll hold your every ache on my back,
till I turn to cosmic dust.
When I seize to exist,
is the only time you can leave me in the mist.

I know that’s selfish of me,
but you I truly need.
Don’t forget you’re the one who told me my mind plays tricks on me.
You’re the one who told me to go grow on my own.

You said you’d always be there,
and I’m not letting you go,
before I let go.

One day we’ll shine down with the stars together,
and join the sun feeding all your favorite roses,
but till that day the soils are our home,
no matter where the other goes.

Watching the colour drain out of someone’s face,
like ice cubes melting shades out of your coffee.
Branches falling off your favourite tree,
foreshadowing its winter death,
but you pretend you don’t know.

Watching someone you love fall over the same step each time,
like they see a ghost every time they turn left,
so they keep turning left,
And they scream “Why is it always going wrong?”

Watching your brother beat himself black and blue,
like the kids used to do at school,
And now all he recognizes is his beaten back and bleeding knuckles,
but he is so much more than the pain he holds in his hands.

I’ve been watching you break bridges with your voice since I was a child.
I’ve been watching you use fists to communicate since I was a child.
I’ve been watching you self-medicate since I was a child.
I learned from the best,
don’t you see?

Watching you love a woman made me angry,
maybe I knew all along she’d only leave a knife in your back,
after you stabbed her in the front.
At least she saw you coming right?

Watching you break down made me fall apart,
maybe I was hoping I’d become strong,
but watching you suffer felt like being suffocated.
Yet you were the only one suffocating.

Watching you not exist in my life the way you used to took a part of me away.
It’ll never be the same again.
Do you remember all the days we spent doing nothing,
but doing nothing together?
I felt so alive.

I’m watching myself search for you in everyone I meet,
just to get some pieces of you back.
I’m watching myself run away from the person you are,
but I’ve been stuck in quicksand since you left.
I’m watching myself drown as I realize how quickly life changes,
and how quickly it ends.