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Robert Guerrero Apr 2013
March 10, 2009
This is my first entry in this diary
My name is Landon
I have one brother
He is the idol of the family
I have to be exactly like him
But I'm nothing in his shadow

March 15, 2009
Story of my life
My girlfriend dumped me
For her best friend
She really broke my heart
I have scars to prove it

March 23, 2009
My dad just beat me again
He said I should of been aborted
He says I'm the reason for his alcoholism
He blames me for my moms death
She died in a car wreck
I was crying in the back

April 5, 2009
I have really nothing left to fight for
My teachers try to help me
They just don't understand my life
Even when I try to explain it
But every body thinks I'm exaggerating

April 7, 2009
Just found out my grandma died
She was the only person I honestly loved
She would bake me cookies
They were the best
She knew how to make me smile
And now she's gone

April 14, 2009
My dad just tried killing me
He choked me half to death
I hate my life
Bet nobody will miss me if I ended it
Maybe I should

April 15, 2009
Best friend talked me off a ledge
I love his crazy ***
He is always there for me
I'm glad he is there for me
Dude is my brother

April 20, 2009
My ex just came to talk to me
She wants me back
Her best friend cheated on her
I told her yes
Maybe that was a mistake

April 24, 2009
Relationship...FAIL
Life...WASTE
FML
Best friend isn't around to help me
I just cut myself again
Whoops got blood on the paper

December 16, 2009
Sorry I haven't written in a while Diary
People probably would think this is gay
For a guy to be writing in a diary
But your the only thing that can listen
To everything I have to say
Quick update though
Nothing has gotten better
Everything has gotten worse

January 1, 2010
I fell in love with a goddess!
She is the best thing that could happen in my life
She is a poet and wrote the most beautiful poem I have ever read
She called me her perfect, beautiful demonic curse
She loves me too
I'm...happy...this is what it feels like huh?

February 14, 2010
I just went on a date with my girlfriend
Came home to my dads fist
It was suppose to be a good day
And an even better evening
She doesn't even know what goes on in my life
I don't want to bring her into this hell

February 20, 2010
She said I was being distant
She asked for an explanation
I told her I couldn't tell her
For her I wasn't going to tell her
She asked if there was another girl
I told her I was loyal like a ******* puppy dog
She still ended up breaking up with me

I just can't do anything right

April 2, 2010
I almost killed myself yesterday
I know it was April Fool's day
But I'm not joking
I'm planning my death I'll keep you posted when I decide
Diary...I love you.

June 14, 2010
I think in about two days I will be prepared
To end my life
Best friend is gone and I can't get a hold of him
Mother is dead and it's my fault according to my father
Father is an alcoholic
Brother doesn't want to listen to me
Nobody cares anymore

June 16, 2010
This will be my final entry
Diary, I'm sorry but I can't take it anymore
I already have 47 different pills ready to take
A 45 locked and loaded
Ready to scatter these unbearable thoughts across prison walls
I already slit my wrist again
Goodbye my friend
I love you

This is Landon's story
A kid that committed suicide
He was 16 years old
He died June 16, 2010
Time unknown
Don't let this be you
I don't want to write your name
Into the Diary of Broken Souls
Taken from the life of a friend. Changed the name of course.
Sonorant Nov 2021
I. Phasmophobia
I am the innumerable gloom of dim, long-buried anthems.
In wistful suspension, I shadow over a living loft in silence.
Tethered between lines, my fog bleeds on panes in knocking
Hawking your dimming faces in the lamplight of my genesis.
Torn the tunnels of their astringed throats, a requiem is reaped.
— ”I was a shape moving rapidly, nervous at the edge of your vision.” -Cynthia Huntington

II. Claustrophobia
I am the small match ignited from the depths of your mind.
My walls blanched absent of evacuation, self invite into
Your personal and private violation, invading every fissure
With icy burns, solidifying your chrysalis on hungry bark.
Your frozen God of smothering doom, a willow devours you.
— “But then I remember the universe was closed, and so very small. There was really no where else to go.” -Peter Watts

III. Ommetaphobia
I am the stricken, scarlet cloth coalesced of cruelty and ichor.
These rawboned talons, cloaked thereof, overtake embrace—
In coarse delight— a piety of prisoners’ silver stark sights.
Perceptive cavities leak my garb as my artistic blade sweeps.
Plucked from the dredges of a briny skull, two diamond orbs.
— ”The hearts hushed secret is in the soft, dark eye." -Letitia Elizabeth Landon
.
IV. Monophobia
I was the cherished friend to you, my twine stitched in your grasp.
A golden balloon unaffected by tides of time and distorting gales.
Alas from this intimate atmosphere shot an arrow, poisonous
Where silently I erupt into a missing memory upon the wind.
As your curtains close, you breathe for me, without a hand to hold.
—”And all I lov’d, I lov’d alone.” -Edgar Allan Poe

V. Arachnophobia
I am the legion of soundless beholders aloft your dormant dreams.
An itch scattered over the crooked spine, arid for pulsing melodies.
This fruitful sapling beckons each dark, angular limb near your neck.
As my lighting strikes erratically, your foolish impulse slow to clutch
Creeping necrosis bestowed by the guardian who claimed your home.
—”The Spider taketh with her hands and is in king’s palaces.” -Proverbs 30:28.

VI. Agoraphobia
I am the ancestral abductor of this rotting womb you deem a shelter.
As the embryo held within, I contract you into tides and bid ‘swim’.
Directions devoid, beyond bolted doors, you plummet to my depths
Where you wish for comforts’ wind but mislaid the method to breathe.
My otherworld encompasses you, whilst I drink in your suffocating.
— ”Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.” -William Thackeray

VII. Ecclesiophobia
I am the black shepherd in martyric masque and a mitre casque.
A discrete imminent sheep cowers, hanging on the hook in my gallery—
My chalice congregates your pure liquor of laments for libertine luxury.
I rise where you fall and smother the lantern of your last mortal minutes
Instilling final grace in the stillness of your veins, my kingdom reigns eternally.
— ”Suffering can be a gift.” - Abbie Bernstein.
Randy Johnson Jul 2021
Thirty years ago, your life was taken away.
You have been deceased for 10,958 days.
You starred in "Bonanza", "Little House On The Prairie" and "Highway To Heaven" as well.
You were very talented and when it came to being a success, you were bound not to fail.
You also guest starred on other TV shows.
You were only 54, that was too young to go.
In 1957, you starred in the pilot episode of "The Restless Gun".
Twenty-seven years later in 1984, you starred in "Sam's Son".
You and Victor French both died of cancer and both of you died at the age of fifty-four.
You and French were buddies and it's sad that neither of you can star in anything anymore.
Dedicated to Michael Landon (1936-1991) who died 30 years ago today on July 1, 1991
MindsPalace Oct 2017
Peter got his very own egg. His had a package of skittles.
Lizzy got her very own egg. Hers had two rolling dice.
Sarah got her very own egg. Hers had a book of riddles.
Landon got his very own egg. His had bean-bags with rice.
Kathy got her very own egg. Hers had a mini clown.
Henry got his very own egg. His had a lock and key
I got my very own egg, and I was jumping up and down
As this was my first egg that was given just for me.
I had reached the age of ten, so now I was allowed
To have my own egg this easter, and boy was I proud.
I took my egg, I tore it open, and what was inside?
What was inside was suddenly something I wanted to hide...
"What's inside?" Asked Peter and Lizzy.
"What'd you get?" Asked Sarah and Landon.
"Is it candy?" Poked Kathy and Henry.
And I ran away, because nothing is a hard companion.
Nothing. My egg had nothing. I tried to let it go...
It really should've been easier as the months went all too slow...
But nothing, good old nothing: It stayed and seemed to grow...
And nothing's now my only friend, and because I made it so.
Anna  Aug 2013
Landon
Anna Aug 2013
The call came
blindsided, heart stunned
eyes hazy from confusion
or tears.

Your habit caught up to you
needle tainted body
dosed with too much
unable to function.

Death inevitable
and I saw how this would play out
but ****
how it stings.

Never to run fingers
across your skin
brush your lips
with mine.

Blue eyes
no longer mine
light fled
as well in my world.

Guess it turned out
I wasn't a reason to stay
and now you have robbed
me of my most prized.

I already miss you.
agony overcomes
as your memory
slips into the abyss.

At least you're no longer in pain.
My sweetheart.
My darling.
My world.
Anna Sep 2013
bruises under my eyes
scars on my wrist
weights on my feet.

unbearably difficult
to function normally
as if i know what normal is.

i relived your death
your funeral
every single day.

i've dreamt of your face
to be harshly woken
by cold reality.
authentic Jan 2015
I wrote a poem once
My Honestly Poem (Revised)
It had a line in it that said
"I am still mixing colors, trying to find one that best fits me when I am around you
When I make this discovery
You will be the first person I call"
I ended it with two words
"I promise"
So, I intend to tell you what those colors are
They start with white
As every new canvas does
White like the color of your truck
White like sugar I put in my coffee on our first date
Downtown, PJ's coffee, you were just as sweet as that spelda, sweeter even
White like the frozen yogurt we got when we first really hung out
White like the white out I am using to cover all of the mistakes we made
Then a pinch of orange
Like the flower we stole off of a table sitting outside of Subway downtown
Like the sunset we watched on the Levi
Like the start of our pumpkin cake that I almost royally destroyed
Or like my Christmas gift, my bear who's name is Barry if you ever did wonder, like The Country Bears
Then dipped in dark red
Like the jacket I wore on our first date
Or the pants I wore on our second
Or like the plastered walls in BJ's
Or the color of your tie and my corsage at Homecoming
Then sweet, dark blue
Like the backdrop for stars that sat in the sky,
the sky we gazed at countless times
Like my blue jeans that you helped me buy
Like the color on your watch
Next, black of course
Like most of the clothes I wore
Like the majority of our attire at homecoming
Like the center of your eyes surrounded by pools of
Green
Greek like the grass we walked over
Green like the grass on the other side
I am still deciding which is greener
Green like your eyes
I know I've said it already
but I cannot seem to remove your eyes from my memory
Even after the green Starbucks where we ended it
Green was always there
Then the slightest pinch of purple
Like the color of my curtains
Like the color of my bed
The one we would lay in together and even though it was tormentingly hot we couldn't help but be close to each other
Then I realized, after all of this painting
I don't have a color after all
Mixed together
In technical terms some would say it was black
Those who have achromatopsia
Would say it was more like black and white or grey
But I wouldn't
Our love was as colorful as ever
It was gaudy and vibrant
It was brilliant, just as we were brilliant
So in conclusion, I call it opalescent
It reflects different colors in different light
We reflect different colors in different light
But in every light, we are beautiful
I'm sorry that hardly any light shines on us anymore
I hope one day it will
I hope it will shine as bright as ever
And maybe we can start back at white
As every new canvas does
wordvango  Nov 2016
Not a poem!
wordvango Nov 2016
I am wanting to thank some very incredible people.
I also am hoping others will , also.
With that in mind I would like to list
ten poets here I feel people need to read.
My list consists of poets who are always active and generous ,
have good humor and sense.
I would like others to add their ten to my list.
And hopefully everyone eventually gets a shout out.
In the comments list ten poets you admire and would like to see
others appreciate. I will add  them to this list.
If you would like to list more feel free , the more the merrier, and the more
poets get a shout out and their name shared. I will add as many as you can type!
After all , this is goodwill and spirit and sharing and I feel good .


Vicki
Mark Cleavenger
Terry Collett
Ja
Sally Bayan
Emily Burns
Jules Winerose
Lady RF
Sukanya Sinha Roy
Valsa George
(Bill Hughes contributed the following)
Mary Winslow
Randolph L. Wilson
Elizabeth J
Bex
Ezra Warhol
my dearest reno
Wordvango
Jeff Stier
taia iverson
Dave Hewitt
Kristy Renae Dalton
(added by Eric W)
SPT
Doug Potter
Lola Park
SoulSurvivor
Inevitably Raised By Ducks
(added by Vicki)
Shawna Michele
Spygrandson
r
Woody
Pradip Chattopadhyay
SJR 1000
the seatbelt effect
Sonja Benskin Mesher
Don't Call Me Johnny
nivek
WL Winter
K Mae
Liz Balize
patty m
Pamela Rae
Sean Tierney
William Poppen
Michael Kagan
Biche
Irinia
Mikeccc
Paul Gaffney
Karina Norris Viers
Dawn
Brother Jimmy
Anthony
Phil Roberts
David Ehrgott
Jason Clarke
Angstrom
Jamadhi Verse
born
Weeping Willow
Terry Jordan
Traveler
Tonya Maria
CA Guilfoyle
elizabeth j
Grumpy Thumb
David Patrick O'C
f
(added by Sukanya Sinha Roy)
Eli N
Poetryjournal
Traveller
The Dead Sea
Zero
Nishu Mathur
James Michael Hail
Nagi
Angstorm
(Added by Sjr 1000)
Wardha
nagi
PoetryJournal
My Dystopia
Life's Jump
Bala
Nat Lipstad
Melissa
Ded Poet
Denel
Bex
Luiz Machado
(added by Jamadhi Verse)
Lora Lee
Wild is the Wind
Lalin
Akira Chen
R k
Onoma
Mydystopia
Stephanie
Stephan
Pradip :)
Karishna
(added by elizabeth j)
NB.
Lonely Soldier
Lily Mae
Thomas P Owens Sr
Sir WCA
Midnight Rain
Melissa S.
( added by Lori Jones McCaffery?
James
Kim Johanna Baker
Demonatachick
Elizabeth J
Yasaman Johari
Jean Lin
Lawrence Hall
Landon Miller
Chris Neilson
Pagan Paul
Sun Princess
Elizabeth Squires
Keith Wilson
Emily Rene Dec 2014
Little worries cause my mind to race,
And I can only wonder how you're doing
No one knows how much I miss you,
Don't speak, don't tell, my secret is untold
Only remembering past memories, they're beautiful
No new memories or mistakes to share with you

My mistake was ever taking you for granted,
A mistake that blew up quickly in my face
Drama is not my strong suit, so I ran away
I regret what I said to you & did, & I'd take it back
Sorry doesn't begin to express my feelings on the matter
Oh, I only want to talk to you & be friends again,
Not that it matters anymore

True friendship is like a rose,
we don't realize its beauty
*until it fades...
Courtney shields Nov 2016
Can you walk across this  bridge  with me hold my hand and help me Thur because I don't think I'm go make it Thur the day with no one by my side I tried not to cry and hold it in and stand strong and cover up what's inside I can't anymore I have to cry being strong just won't cut it holding on I'm getting weak so I'm going to fall I feel like  Humpty dumpy all my  pieces are gone broken up all over the  ground  I'm sorry im not good enough for this roll but can you walk across the bridge with me hold my and watch me sleep then leave me at peace....
Anna  Sep 2013
please
Anna Sep 2013
i'm so sorry
i'm so sorry, i swear
just wait a minute
don't pull away your hand
and waltz out the door
that you are known to do.

look into my eyes
look into my eyes, i beg
see the tears and the panic
and desperation i cannot contain.

believe me
please believe me that i can change
as long as that means you're with me
as long as it means we'll still be
as long as it means you won't leave.

listen to my voice
listen to my voice, how it shakes
cracks at the two syllables of your name
my most favorite
the most beautiful syllables.

Landon, please,
Landon, you promised
you promised me you wouldn't do this again
what has changed
what have i done
to once again deem me unworthy
of you.
cause i can fix that.
i will do anything just please
please don't give up.
don't break your word.
i believed you
i loved you
i praised you.
was that not enough?

just please
please
stay
this once.

— The End —