I have all this music in my head,
With no knowledge on how to get it out of my mind.

Knowing you has been a song,
familiar silence,
as we become aware of existence,
but no form of friendship,
complete empty instrumentals,
the start of us.
beautiful vocals set in,
in anticipation of what's to come,
as I fell for your smile,
only then do lyrics form,
as our story unfolds,
our song isn't finished,
but it's so distorted,
so empty now.

Somewhere in the background in the light waves that swallow all sound there's a girl with a tambourine,
she lives in another dream where the music's written on the screen, the notes remind her that's she's single and behind her is the orchestra playing Schopenhauer
albeit silently,
the aesthetics pleasing me, the silence teasing me, she asks me out to tea and I agree.

In the background where the foreground falls away into the light waves that swallow all sound, she plays her tambourine and we start another dream,
silently at first until we thirst for more than this.

Ya Know I Appreciate The Fact …
That Sometimes... Being Black …
Can Lead To Attacks And That’s JUST THAT … !!!

Some From Whites...
And Other Skin Types …
And Some From... Blacks … ?!?

See Some Will STAB Blacks In Their BACK … !?!
When THEY ARE... BLACK … ?!?

What’s Up With … THAT … !???!

I DON’T Appreciate Moves That CLEARLY PROVE … !!!!

UNITY Amongst Mans With DARKER Tans …
Is Less Likely Than Seeing Whitey …
Deal In UNITY For EVERYBODY … !!!

I APPRECIATE WOMEN But NOT So Many GIRLS... !!!
Who Clearly Stick To Living Within Their Made Up Worlds … !?!

The One Where They’re OBSESSED …
With Bad Bwoys’ They Call MEN … ?!?
Whose ***** Cause... PROBLEMS … !!!

So I Appreciate Why Chickens … !!!
Be Driven To **** Lickin’ … !!!
Then Robin’ Them Like … “ Givens “ … !!!!!

I APPRECIATE The Love... !!!!!!!!!!
That Comes From UP ABOVE … !!!

That Doesn’t Place CONDITIONS …
On LOVE That Has Beginnings …
BEYOND … New Definitions … !!!

I Appreciate Positions That Veer AWAY From Missions ….
So BACK SHOTS I Be Giving To Women Who Be Thinking …
Bout' INSISTING On Enlisting Big Virge To Co-exist With … !!!

I Appreciate Sweet Rhythms From End Back To Beginnings …
Just Like I Now Do Music I Just Wish MORE Would Use It … !!!

To ELEVATE Their Mental …
When Hearing Instrumentals...
And Wordplay MONUMENTAL … !!!!!
That’s GOOD FOR YOU Like DENTAL … !!!!!!

I Now Choose To … “ APPRECIATE “ …

MORE These Days Than EVER BEFORE … !!!
Because Now I’m SURE …
Life Sometimes Can Be A CHORE … !!!
So Now Appreciate MORE And Depreciate War … !!!

I Like The Flavour of APPRECIATING NATURE... !!!

You May Need Paper …
But DON’T Let THAT Become Your Saviour … !!!

Cos’ It CAN’T Save You And That’s THE TRUTH … !!!
But... CAN Cause Feuds So Make Smart Moves  … !!!!

I Now APPRECIATE The FACT...
That Money Can Attract The Type of Cats …
That AREN’T Feline So Harbour Designs …
That DEFINE … “ RAT LIKE “ … !!!!!

Appreciation In Life … Depreciates Strife …
If You Appreciate RIGHT And Relegate Fights …
To Being ……………… “ Out of Sight “ ….……… !!!!!!!

These Days I TRY To Appreciate LESSONS … !!!!!
When STRIFE Drives By And Lets SHOTS FLY …… !!!!!!!
That … THREATEN YOUR LIFE … !!!!!!!!!!

I Appreciate The Vibe of ….. “ Staying Alive “ …..
Even Though Sometimes I’ve Thought of SUICIDE ….. !!!!!!    

I Appreciate The Dark That... "ENVELOPS The Light" …
Because It INTERTWINES Just Like A... “ Yin Yang Sign “ …

BALANCE Yes... DEFINED … !!!!!!!
A Place I’m Now Inclined To SEE MYSELF In Life … !!!

APPRECIATING HATERS …
Because They Make Me GREATER … !!!!!!!
And STRONGER EVERYDAY So I Appreciate...
That IGNORANCE INVADES …
Weak Minds That Have THE SPACE ……….

To Think TOO MUCH About Others... ?!?
With HATEFUL LOVE... Don’t Get TIE UP … !!!

Their Love Is Part of Building Heart … !!!!!
That STANDS APART From … Hate Filled Paths … !!!!!!

I Appreciate Flicks As I Do Music …
That OPENS EYES And OPENS MINDS To RECOGNISE …

What’s TRUE From … “ Lies “ … !!!
And Entertains In CLEVER WAYS … !!!

So I DON’T Appreciate Too Much These Days … !!!
Because What’s On DISPLAY …
Seems To Be Well Made To Be... REAL FAKE … !!!!

I Appreciate REAL Like I Do A Good Meal …
So I Ask You …… “ Sep-ar-ate “ …

Those Two Words...

Real … And … FAKE … !!!

There’s NO SUCH THING …. !!!!!
Real Fakeness' Sings And CLEARLY STINGS … !!!!!

So I APPRECIATE Liks’ I Received As A Kid … !!!!!
Cos' They WERE REAL And Now I Feel …
Are The Reason I Appreciate How My Life Is TODAY... !!!!!

I’ve Seen TOO MUCH To Truly Explain...
My Suffering And PAIN But THIS I’ll Say …

My Life Has Been TOUGH When Watching My Mum...
Just Vegetate Into A State That When I Cogitate …
I Can Today Relate As Part of My Life’s Page …

... That I APPRECIATE … !?!

Because of THE MAN It’s Helped Create …
A Man of … Rhyme Wordplay …
That I Hope Maybe... “ One Day “ …
Will Have Made Some People Say …

“That brother, Big Virge,
spoke conscious words within his verse !”

“I’m thankful I heard, some of it,
because he wasn’t fake, and his words
are now something, that I ………”

… “ APPRECIATE “ …

See it's easy to rap about
The ghetto
When u don't live in ghetto
We got blacks raps
Takin us back
And got whites makin fun
Of our slacks
You see it's apart of plan
To destroy society
Without the use of hands
Instead words laid over instrumentals
Once the voice is planted
It can become influential
Or detrimental
See thirty eight years ago
The ghetto was bout surviving police
Brutality and violence
And uprising of black unison
But it wasn't until ****** crack ******* from our beloved government
Entered the scene it became
A reality nightmare
Far from King 's
dream pushed away from teams
*** we wanted to be the next dope king
Pin enjoyin sin punishing pur women men and children
But we're helping the establishment
With the destruction of our race
We can't even look each other in the face
Yet we cry its about race
Yes socially mentality and economically
But in actuality the hood locality
Is where most of the hatred be
I see my folks walk around
Looking at me
Like I'm the reason behind slavery
And they mugg me
But don't mug the p-o-l-i-c-e
Feel me so duck the ghetto
The pimps the hoes
The dope the jewels the clothes
Its nothing but holes
In a womb far from being patched up
Wake up and let's abrupt
And stop letting stereotypes corrupt
Our mindset
We natural born warriors
our existence is fearful
Enough towards them
So let this marinate to ya temple
And stop being so love struck
By the
**** luxury of the ghetto

Eyes like panes of glass
Cut me to pieces
With every fist full of hair and moan for more
I think my favorite song is just a track of our heavy breathing
And the instrumentals are the sound of sweat pooling on your chest
Trace my lips with your finger tips
Look me in the eye
Cut me like glass
Our bodies together is all I ask

There is an abundance of knowledge
That I’ve grown to know about life,
Such as how some green teas,
Brew at a temperature of one hundred and fifty degrees,
Or the way that hues of paint,
Swirl upon a canvas to appear delicate and quaint.
And lastly how my friendships are like little lights,
Illuminating the darkest corners of my life, bright,

And though my brain holds knowledge of,
All that I have mentioned above,
That that I knew not outweighs that of which I do,
Such as the way I feel about you,
Or how the hours spent with you feel so few,
And how every moment spent brings something wonderful and new,

I never knew.
I never knew love,

That my heart could race so fast,
To the melody of the piano instrumentals we listened to last,
Or that I would love the way your fingers run through my hair,
Or how you hold my hand and kiss my fingers tenderly with care,

I did not know.
I did not know love,

That the aroma of Amazni tea
Would bring countless thoughts of you and me,
And that butterflies to my surprise,
Would flutter within every time I’m gazing in your eyes,

Perhaps it is the way you say the word Chicago,
Or you have an appreciation for flakes of snow,
Maybe it’s the way you draw invisible lines on my skin,
I hope you know that this feeling makes me feel beautiful within,

And though I know of this now,
I did not know,
I did not know love,

That I had been waiting twenty five days shy of seven thousand-three hundred and seventy four,
To meet the one who would make me feel something I’ve never felt before.
He who understands of my fears,
And is comforting when I’m at the point of tears,
Maybe it is his entrepreneur set mind,
Or the way our fingers are entwined,
Maybe it is the way we write our own poetry with our mouths,
Or the way we are both not from the South.

It could be any of these,
But I do know that,
I do know love that,

I’ve learned much during these thirty one days,
And as I waltz and frolic through this endless maze,
The only thought I have of which is meaningful,
(Is this)
*“I did not know that love could be this beautiful.“

People are a lot like songs
there are songs that you love the first time but they grow old very fast
and you no longer care to hear them
there are songs that drive you insane,
that seem to be everywhere
and get stuck in your head so easily
no matter how much you want them gone
there are songs you can't get enough of
but you only listen to them when you're sad
because they are not the happiest of songs
there are songs everyone else loves
that you yourself don't enjoy quite as much
and there are songs you love
that no one else cares for
there are songs you feel touching your heart
that you want to learn the words to
but they lose their magic once you know
the words that were hidden
amongst the loud instrumentals
there are songs from long ago
that show up now and then
that you regard fondly and think
back to simpler times
there are songs that make you feel rebellious
ready to overthrow an unjust tyrant
and there are songs that leave you
with a strange sense of purpose
and spark inspiration and hope within you
there are songs with lyrics
profound and wise
and others with lyrics
that do not hold the least bit of sense
I personally hope that you will be a song
that never gets old
that I know each and every word to
I hope you are a song that brings happiness
whenever you come on the radio
and for a moment,
you make me forget everything
and I lose myself in your melody
I hope you are a song that is my first choice
every time I go to karaoke
because you just feel so right
and i hope you are a song
that sounds better to me
the longer I listen
that leaves me thoroughly satisfied
as the last note plays out
and the music fades to silence

the first and second songs were beautiful ones
melodious and calming ones
about the beauty of nature
and how it does nothing yet so much
how it seems so dull yet beautiful
just like your eyes

the third song was an upbeat song
the kind of tunes that all would dance to
repetitive choruses and long instrumentals
like a circle, they remind me of your
so very long patience on things

the fourth song
was a song filled with raps and curses
talking about injustice and yet
it talks about *** and enjoying it
somehow however, it was nice to listen to
just like you when you get irritated
and yet, find happiness in the
little, irritating things

the fifth song was a song of nonsense
completely irrational
very messy
like paint splattered all over
a white wall
and yet so desirable
just like your smile
that you throw around
to everyone you see

you always thought the number six was
the devil's number
and found it cool
so i placed a song that makes people feel good about themselves
a song that was 'cool'
which was just like how you perceived yourself as
like how you always thought you were cool
and told me with a grin
and i always disagreed
with a little stupid smile of my own

the number seven was a special number to us
our common best friend's jersey number
your class number
my score in a two consecutive math quizzes
our little specialnumber
so i placed our song
a special song that you let me hear
after you heard me sing and said
"you have a nice voice, i think
this song would suit it."

i can never forget that song
so i have it on my mixtape too

you disliked the number eight
for some odd reason
which did not bother me
so i placed a song that irritated you
but made me happy
just to spite you
and to see you get flustered and ******
all at once like no one could
because i like
having you tell me everything you feel
like i do to you

number nine reminded you of
things that were ***** and pretty
so i placed a sensual song
that talked about a guy not deserving
his female admirer
who wanted to love him badly
physically and emotionally
because he did too
a song that was pure guitar
pure voice and soul
and raw emotions
that i believe would make you want to
sing along to it as well
like i do

the tenth song was a sad song
because once you failed a math quiz
with a mark of ten out of twenty
the same score as mine
but i didn't place a song that we both know
a song we both decided on
that was sad
no, instead
i put a song that i knew
but you didn't
which i believed was sadder
because it was like
how you treated me after
i gave you that letter
and made me sad
like this song

the eleventh and twelfth songs were made as one
but had to be cut off due to its length
it talked about a boy who wanted nothing more
than to keep the one he loved all to himself
a boy that flew
and crashed
for a girl that never knew

just like me
when i wanted nothing more
than to send you this mixtape
and have you say to me
a simple "thank you"

or maybe even
a little wishful
*"i love you too."