Forgivness Is Not A Matter Of Whether Or Not You Deserve It
- It Is A Question Of Whether Or Not I Wan't **Peace

We try our best.
god willing he will understand the rest.

Forgiveness is the key,
To defeating your enemy.

For what power can one have,
Over a free soul?

The answer is none
And forgivness is how this freedom is won.

If you cannot forgive
Then how will you live?

To truly forgive one must not forget,
You must remember and yet,
Move forward without feelings untoward,
And not presume to judge as some mighty lord,
Or ones soul may jump overboard.

Often times this I do forget,
And this always leads to regret.

Pity the man that has fallen down,
And do not give him that disgusted frown.

Do not presume that you are any better,
For you do not know the pain that is his thether.

This you help me to remember,
As you ignite my fading ember.

Falling out of love again,
but not with whom I need to
my past obsession
has become nothing more
than my new addiction.
well, one of the many at least.

to recreate the situations,
is a cause forever lost.
to formulate retaliations,
leaves the souls of lovers lost.

holding fire in your heart,
burning brands upon your brain
a grudge of blood and tears and scars
the spark of which will still remain

as long as ashes are collected
and ember fanned alive  
the beast possesses reason,
a motive to survive.

I seek relief in my relations,
mostly trivial in nature,
from my newfound deprivation
of optimism for the future

I seek relief in my relations,
mostly trivial in nature,
from my newfound deprivation
of optimism for the future

no regard for heart of others
who tide me over while you're gone
leaving cracks, slow to recover
leaving faces in their palms

Its been two years since we were in it,
but maybe that was just a phase
the time has come to face forgiveness
and forget those better days.

Given in
No more
False

To think
I'm redeemed
A fault

Forgivness is
Laced unto
Selfish pity

Your shame will be enteral,
your hope will shatter like glass.

Her voice will haunt you,
her face will strike regret in you.

You broke her heart,
and now you have enough courage to say your sorry.

Sorry can't fix the things she gave you,
sorry can't make me take back the nights I stayed up holding her from the pain you caused.

As my life gets so complex, I slowly massage my neck. I scratch my head knowing I’m truly dead. I can't begin to express my loneliness.  I can sit here in my room contemplating my doom.  This cloud of gloom won't pass me by. Alas, I don't know why.

You were a last reach at humanity. I guessed at the decision and got such a calamity.  All I wanted was a friend. Instead I lost all hope in the end of sanity.

As I felt my head leave my neck, you bagged my air and said what the heck; you tried your best, a feeble attempt, at a molesting order. I said look over your shoulder, a sky so blue and clear it removed the tears from my eyes as I said goodbye.

You so coldly left my body in such a disarrayed exposed to all on that horrible day.  In the back seat of a car, white in color, I always knew it would be a brother.  One with no sense of others only a frustration unto himself his impotency and broken mind has caused my death before it's time.

There is only one thing left to do as I cruse toward the judgment land. I'll ask god to forgive you.  As you walk this life, just remember your fall from grace and try to make a vow to always protect instead of ****,  To hold dear and get out of your own way make it clear you were to let go and to stay clear.

To learn and live, find another, begin again. Just remember your vow remains till time will end.  Your death could be eternal over and over again.  Through the non ending flames of his judgment, fear lives long, but forgiveness wins.

It is often the
most difficult task,
to forgive
Could you agree?

I am not very good
at it, I will admit
When all you want
is to get even
or to make the other(s)
hurt just as badly
as they hurt you...
that fuels the grudge

What is forgiveness?
Is it letting someone
off the hook?
Is forgivness
simply forgetting?
Is it saying the wrong
perpetrated upon us
is now OK?
That it really did not
hurt or offend us after all?

No, it is so much more
Forgiveness is not an act
of the emotions,
for they seem unable
to ever come to reason
and they often betray us

It is an act of the will,
a release not just for the other
but for ourselves
from the prison of
resentment and anger

Do we need to hear
an apology
to forgive?
No

Do we need to make sure
the other or others
receive justice?
No

What we need is to make that choice
To forgive even if we don't feel like it
To wait till we "feel like it" is a lie
It is like holding on to a poison that
only destroys ourselves
and not the ones we intended
for it to torment

Forgiveness doesn't mean
we now have amnesia
about the wrong
inflicted upon us
It just means
all resentment
and bitterness
no longer have us in
a vice-like grip

And if we refuse to forgive one
who is begging us for it
that person is stuck in a *******, too
Sometimes, we find it is us
that is in need of forgiveness
and sometimes it is
that very thing
that we need to
extend to ourselves  
so we can enjoy
being in our own skin

I am nobody to instruct another
about how to forgive
I am writing this partly for myself
It is one of the hardest things
for me,
to forgive
But when I am on the receiving end
it feels so beautiful and so freeing

To err is truly human
And to forgive is truly divine
It is not of our human nature
to simply forgive
but is a gift from God above
Even under the worst
of cruel situations
true forgiveness is possible

Stepping through my mind's eye, I can see clearly the things I want to see.
Visions materialize through imagination, making up the shores of my reality.
What is said of my imagination? Is my reality distinguishable from that which you can not see?
Where does that line begin? It seems to have a likeness of divinity.
What is it to be known when divinity touches my shore?
I want to be enlightened, with knowledge that I have never known before.
So many questions. So many things that are yet unknown to me.
Searching for myself. Trying to find the individual that I most want to be.
I want to be that person. The very best of what I can dream.
Sometimes it feels impossible, no matter what the odds may seem.
Still, I look for that inspiration. That very spark that will send me on my way.
I need to find it soon. I do not think I can wait another day.
Something...holding me back. I am not sure. I can not tell.
Something lingers from the past. Forgotten...left in my mind to dwell.
My sub conscience is telling me something. It is screaming for me to hear.
What it is I can not figure. It is this "not knowing" that I fear.
A time for searching begins. Time to look deep. Break down the walls around the pain.
Do I really want to know? Could be those very walls that have kept me sane.
Too many questions to ponder. Too many "if's" are holding me down.
I must prepare myself for the answers. Whatever the problem, I must turn it around.
Maybe...the problem does not lie in the past, but exists with me today.
Could it be the very thing I am looking for be in the present, formed with these words I say?
The solution seems twofold. A fork in the road can now be seen.
The past or the present? This decision affects the very essence of my being.
Perhaps, just perhaps, the answers lie along a different direction.
I should try to find another option while in this time of reflection.
What about my future? What would my future hold by dwelling in the past?
To be smothered in resentment? That is not the feeling that I want to have last.
I must not dwell in the past. I must use it for strength in today.
Without those mistakes I made, there would be no lessons to guide the way.
The solution does exist. It is hidden here in plain sight.
Make the decisions today, that will make my future seem bright.
Today is the key. Only today can I affect tomorrow.
To live in the moment...turn away from all the sorrow.
The past is the past. Can not change it. Must move on the better things.
Today is the moment. Live today so that we may not fear what the future brings.
That is the trick is it not? To forgive myself everyday for things gone wrong?
I must continue to learn. Continue to live the moment, and help my future to grow strong.
To decide for the future, I must accept that which is to be.
As long as I do the best I can, there will be no stopping me.
That is what I will do. Consider every decision as if it were my last.
Take nothing for granted. Learn everything. Life can go by pretty fast.
I have found direction. It is up to me to see it through.
Anything is possible. Let me see what it is that I can do.



Matt Segin
03/00