Looking down from the 7th floor of this 6-story apartment


In my head I calculated if it would work


And if I should even leave anything behind


"Don't waste your time on me anymore"
That's what I've wanted to say


But there would be no point in trying to get through


No more anything anymore


If I just make myself go through with it

I just want to go back

To another me

Back to the first story

A story I have never told anyone

Long forgotten and buried under

This pile of misdirection and lies

One day I will find it, so until then

I will keep digging out my insides

And I won't stop


Because god has an apartment complex

To renovate
Renovate
Renovate
Renovate

Should we invite the neighbors over for dinner?
Their politics so different from ours.
All the more reason. Combat anomie!
He's worried the town's losing population
but opposes immigration. I like immigrants
but hate passing people on my morning walk.

The whole mountainous western region of the state
is losing population at a rate of 1% per annum.
The young move out, the old stay put but
young artists priced out of big cities move in
looking for affordable studio space. How low
can the population go as long as rents stay low?

We did agree about the fire department expansion
being premature (him) or unnecessary (me).
He argued we should renovate the high school first
the roof is caving in and walls crumbling.
But you can teach under a spreading chestnut tree
or baobab and science needs the world for a laboratory.

I teach at the old 2nd St. jail in Pittsfield
a town that doesn't know if it's coming up or going down.
A few shootings last month, no deaths.
They're holding their breath but also trying to attract life
science businesses to the industrial park. The local bank's
expanding, buying smaller banks in neighboring civilizations.

Eventually our fire department got the vote they wanted,
just called another meeting and packed the auditorium.
The final winning argument was we can do the school,
the fire house and the police station all at once.
Don't accept defeat, limitations. Defeat anomie!
Anomie means lawlessness and purposeless in Greek

so that's not exactly what we're trying to defeat.
It's the mismatch between our aspirations and resources,
no, the dissonance between our tribe and nation,
the individual as ****** animal and intellectual,
the farmer and the banker, the loved one and the litter,
whatever happens to you after you die and belief in reincarnation.

For me, it always boils down to mortality
every conversation, which is why no one comes to dinner.
Whether the fire department buys an exorbitant parcel
at the expense of a future school renovation
in a town slightly losing population but still viable
with a college, bank, artists and a few working farms

is everything and nothing, as Borges says.
Deutsch says death ought to be curable.
The new high school or fire station, conditions like anomie
v. democracy, new life forms, self-conscious species
from the laboratory or the biome. How de body?
Today ok. Tomorrow I don't know. Potential

energy, lover, killer, anomie. Karl Popper
had such faith in the rational whereas Niebuhr
acknowledged man's ego is uncontrollable except
by force. Conflict is inevitable. But at dinner
we agree it doesn't always have to be violent or terminal.
We can do the fire department, police station, the school and anomie.

If I could, I would.
I'd demolish you with the things I can do.
You remake me,
I'll remake you.
If I could, I would.
I'd obliterate all that came before;
Your past, your pain, they'd be no more.
Every brick, every beam, every shard of broken glass....
I'd renovate your body, if you would only ask...
If I could, I would.
I'd enjoy the destruction of all that came before;
Every molecule of pain would be no more.
I'd break down your walls,
assault your salty skin,
make you feel whole,
make you fragile again.
I want to smother your psyche,
make you beg for mercy.
Nothing would be same, nothing would remain.
Beneath our heat, all that was solid melts into thick air.
My mouth swallows your pain,
consumes your frame.
And there we are: destroyed.
Neither who we were, nor who we're yet becoming.
Through our destruction,  
we're remade anew.
You remake me,
I'll remake you.

Coming up from the ground
You see that light
The light that makes you perpetual
Like a feather flowing through the breeze
Deft as an emotion, clear as water
Im open to the world, i'm open to nature

We all have that empty pit in our stomache
When we cant see the sun for what it is
Blocked by the bleakness of winter

But you can get through, you can get through, just keep holdin on

See the forest through the trees
See the trees in the forest

And advice I can give ya, is to not give up
Stuck with  fleeting feeling
Of uncontrable variables

And that balance is virture,

We cant renovate the old, so lets change the new
We cant renovate the old, so lets change the new
lets start a revelotuion
New, new, lets make this world.

Renovate yourself.
Whether it is once a year or twice a month:
Become new.
Roll up in your bedsheets and feel the chrysalis change you.

Don't stay the same.
No, don't you dare.
If you stop moving the darkness will catch up
Destroying your dreams,
Your love,
Your hope.
Everything that kept you steady.

Renovate yourself.
Whether it is once a year or twice a month:
Choose change
Before it chooses you.

I am ashamed, Sister!

I live in a house, I want to renovate.
Yours was bulldozed, now you live in a tent.

I need a new car, trade the old one away.
You lost your feet in a bombing yesterday.

I sleep so cozy and warm in a king size bed.
You find comfort in the cold hard floor instead.

Something doesn't work out I'll complain to everyone.
While you hide your tears when you lose someone.

My freezer is full with samosas and pies.
Your tummy sounds are muffled by rockets and cries.

I open my fast with plenty food in my plate.
You are thankful for that single date.

I do some chores my back is sore.
You lost your sons your pain is much more.

My Eid clothes are bought, few hundreds gone.
You were forced to leave with the clothes you had on.

I need a few holidays throughout the year.
You won't abandon your land despite the fear.

I have everything yet I still want more.
You just want peace, the end of this war.

Despite all this you are closer to Allah then I'll ever be.
So I am ashamed sister, ashamed for being me!

I just started my new job
As the handyman in the land of OZ
Seems things haven't been going the same
Since the Wizard up and left that day

First off is that house from Kansas
The one that fell on the Witch of the East
There's no way the Munchkins can move it
So we're going to renovate it right there on the side of the street

And turn it into a Bed & Breakfast
Where all the Good Witches can relax and stay
Then they all won't be so apt to
Commandeer a sphere and float away

After that I'll need to buy some silver paint
As the Tin Man is looking rather dull these days
And while I'm at it might as well, some yellow and green
To give the road and OZ a brand new sheen

And since the Witch of the West has been put to rest
I have all the Flying Monkey helpers I can use
As my professional skills will be put to the test
Giving her dingy castle a good ole OZ spruce

I wonder why they've never had someone before
Oh yea, I've also gotta fix that Knocker on the front door
There are so many things that need to be done
Me being the new Handy Man in the land of OZ

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i saw a glimpse of you in that landscape.
it was painted with the colors of your time management
but sometimes you were too impatient.
i swore on biblical verses and too many shots that
you had skyscrapers for fingers and you knew
how to take the best out of me.
we shaped play doh into giants that would walk,
just to renovate and play god for a day since
sometimes we felt too little to even be alive.
we heard the top of buildings laugh,
golden cities never found a place in my heart,
but what do i know?
maybe we just tried to direct, reflect, dissect.
i can't pinpoint my points on your cork board
because there are too many ads telling me about
the things we lost, the moments
we left on the grounds, like low light second levels
and fish bowl blemishes on saturday afternoons.
your catholic boy demeanor, or lack thereof,
was nothing short of a misunderstanding and those who
had the time wanted the resources but those who mattered
didn't have the watch to tell them when to listen.
heart listeners don't show up and god only talks to
skyscrapers,
building off of what is closer when we all need
something to reach out to touch.
heart listeners negotiate by linguistics and wooden
tables,
mapping out the streets and yet
some of us just recycle the paper so we can start
all over again.
some of us just want to be a city,
beating hearts leading giants
to maybe someday talk to time.

if I could renovate my life
as you'd renovates your place
if I could get rid those lousy-things
as you'd throw away your good-for-nothing things
if I could fix my life
like fixing broken parts in your room
if I could do it over
like painting over the walls
if this life is an interior designs
that possess before and after
if my life that worn-out at "before"
could turn into the glamorous "after"
can I renovate it?

Renovate your inner self frequently to clean out the waste..

When we think to decorate out home, always make a sense how beautiful our home display to make other impress. That’s why you always intend to give your home an incredible beauty. At the same time you also looking for most changes and must be cost-effective that you would like to renovate it. Then most important thing needs to be change like your floors, few creative designs with real wood flooring/carpet can make really impressive to it.
You may think, how can be done such changes with floors. There are many alternatives to do so, like replace the ordinary floor with the real wooden flooring. Wooden flooring is simply made up of real solid wood, structured of multiple layers of timbers. Exclusive wooden flooring you can find out in industry, like oak wooden flooring, engineered wood flooring, solid wood flooring, solid oak, natural wood, hardwood flooring etc. This way you can make your home unique beauty and also its eco-friendly and dust free.
Major Benefits of Wooden Flooring
1. Long lasting
2. Very easy to clean
3. Eco-friendly
4. Cost-effective
5. Easy to install
6. Advanced and Modern Display
7. Strong and durability
8. Wide Range of Design Avail
9. Can be selling out after a certain time etc.
So if you want to impress the people when they come into your home along with unique presentation of home you can easily can make change with the floor.
Trade Flooring Factory UK’s top suppliers of wide range of Wooden Flooring London offers versatile designs on Natural Wood Flooring, Engineered Wood Flooring, Solid Wood Flooring London manufactured of real solid wood along with high quality wood and incredible modern design to make attractive your home. You can find out here the best and exclusive and unique designs at affordable cost in comparison to the rest of the industry.  You can buy here industry’s best wood flooring at low price, so if you make a decision to give your home a unique look trade factory can be the best choice for you to select here our exclusive designs of wood floors.
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