I lived (unconsciously) to die.
Reckless behavior, bending the rules.
I wanted to **** the butterflies he had given me,
drown them in ***** and whisky.
I tried riding in cars with unknown boys to fill the deep void.
I lost count of the beds I  woke up in,
I lost count of the nights I cried myself to sleep
I hated the loneliness in the morning after having someone next to me.

Live fast and die young.
Excess was not enough.
I wanted everything faster, higher, stronger.
More music, more "friends", more shots, more kisses
More....
               More...
                             More..
I didn´t realize I was slipping through my own hands.
Less time,  less life, less love, less of me.
Less...
           Less...
                      Less...
I kept pushing the buttons of whatever god that was keeping me safe
and I let my demons become the owners of who I usted to be.

I thought I was living the life,
but I was already dead inside.

I've never read the bible
I believe in what I see
I've never seen a miracle
What will be will be

Way back now, in sixty nine
The Mets, they won it all
It may have been a miracle
or just **** good baseball

Don't try and sell me a bill of goods
I believe what I believe
I have to see it for myself
I'm not easy to decieve
There may be things called miracles
But, most are just ...well ...bunk
I don't believe in miracles
I just think they are junk

I've led my life my own way
I don't know why, I just do
I'd never seen a miracle
Until introduced to you

You saw through my tough persona
Knew I was keeping it inside
But, you worked your way on through it
And, it's been one hell of a good ride

I always thought a miracle
involved turning water into wine
But, I know that it's something special
There's one miracle that's mine

I never read the bible
And most likely never will
But, I still need some reinforcement
I'm still quite cautious ever still

I know that you are special
And I know you love me so
I guess that is the miracle
I'd be so lost if you should go

I believe in fact and science
Without proof for me to see
But, since the night that I first saw you
You've been a miracle for me

There was so much building up,
I was expecting more of a rocket launch.
But I was wildly mislead.
It was more of a wipe out.
And now I'm stuck.
Half in the snow bank,
And half in the middle of the road.
Either way I'm backing up traffic.

How fitting.

your warmth
your breath
makes my heart
glow with love

He makes me want to
drag red ribbons from her throat;
see what shapes
lye beneath her coat;
maybe walk for a thousand years,
without any fear of stroke...
never to return to this Land
called: Love.

He brings out the violence in me - -
for, I fear for the loss
of his soul, to thee.
He brings me to the light...
It's what makes it worth it;
all these foreign feelings of envy,
sneaking up my spine,
poured into my wine...

If only I were the only girl
in the world...
If only he were blind to
the golden locks of Hell
and the perfume scent of smell...
He makes me selfish;
No, I do!!
He makes me Hellish;
That's me too!!
What to do, what to do...
I love you.

He'd never turn.
So why does this passion
rapidly burn?
Like a clench of my fist,
and a stomach that churns;
He's mine!! Only mine!!
Never a question,
yet my words
portray suggestions;
Empty thoughts-- false dissatisfaction.

Unnecessary worries
and unwanted emotions...
Love can cause quite a commotion.
Worth it?
Yes, it's worth it.
Crazy?
Of course, I am.
I love you.
I love you...
I love you.
Thank you;
*Don't leave.

We throw lies into lives

like pebbles in a pool

watching the ripples disturb the calmness

then cascade off into the distance