Sitting in a darkened bar
Ten dead soldiers in a row
My bladder was now screaming
It's time for you to go

I ordered up another drink
Left my seat, went down the hall
And on my way back to the bar
I saw a number on the wall

Help...it said, is close, close by
It's nearer than you think
Call, the number that you see
Before you order your next drink

I thought, it doesn't make much sense
I've got my life under control
I haven't bottomed out quite yet
I'm only half way down the hole

Four more drinks and then again
I stumbled down the hall
And coming back, I once more read
The notice on the wall

Help...it said, is close, close by
It's nearer than you think
Call, the number that you see
Before you order your next drink

I put a dime into the payphone
I thought I'd give it one good try
Before I hit rock bottom
I'd call them up or else I'd die

A friendly voice responded
"out of service...try again"
I laughed at this short message
Then I tried it once again

I checked the number on the notice
Dialed it, and then I heard
the message "out of service"
I laughed at every word

It seems that "out of service"
Was a title I should hold
After all I was a soldier
Out of work, and drunk, and cold

Those three words, they described me
"Out of service" , right bang on
No one cared that I was falling
Who would notice when I'm gone?

I went back to my barstool
Downed my drink and got one more
I thought, I'd better have another
Before I stumbled out the door

Before I went, I ventured
To the jukebox, checked for change
The sign said "out of service"
I thought that that was strange

Twice now, "out of service"
In a message sent to me
Was I truly worth redemption
A hopeless case for all to see

I figured that tomorrow
If I found I woke up dead
"out of service" were the last words
That were emblazoned in my head

I went back to the barkeep
Ordered one more for the road
Then I downed another soldier
"out of service" number stowed

I'd laugh on this tomorrow
If I made it through this night
I was truly "out of service"
I need help to find the light.

Everybody has those days
you know the one's I mean
where no matter what you try and do
you just stand back and scream
plans go all asunder
and things go all to hell
You should have stayed under the covers
shut your eyes, ignored the bell

You've had them, that I'm sure of
When the toast burns, coffee too
The dog ate the kids homework
What are you supposed to do?
The car door was left open
It won't start, but that's all right
Because someone stole the left side tires
While you were sleeping through the night

One step forward
Three steps back
The dance of all concerned
One step forward
Three steps back
Move fast or you'll get burned

Water running down the staircase
The toilet overflowed once more
not to mention all the water
behind the locked bathroom door
it's great the kids are learning
the different things in this world wide
like how different things will happen
when you let a skunk in from outside

a stiff drink would be lovely
would make the problem disappear
but, your oldest drank your whiskey
and you've only got two near beer
skunks and cars, and broken phones
just a day in all our lives
that's why doctors tell new husbands
time to lock up all the knives

One step forward
Three steps back
The dance of all concerned
One step forward
Three steps back
Move fast or you'll get burned


The dance is one we all know
best intentions laid to rest
you'll never quite get where you're going
until you first pass all the tests
just smile and keep moving
don't let it get you down
the dance is not selective
it picks on everyone in town

remember..

One step forward
Three steps back
The dance of all concerned
One step forward
Three steps back
Move fast or you'll get burned