It felt like everything I’d ever known was broken.
It felt like everything I’d ever thought or perceived had been spoken
But it was like no one could even hear me.
It was like I was told to be quiet but I was so outspoken
It was like all I had ever wanted was to be heard.
It felt like every single word that came out of my mouth was slurred
And no one could understand me.
It was like I had perfect vision but everything was blurred.

i look every which way
in the mirror
to find something I like
about myself
but all I see is
a mistake

My life is a twister of madness
an overwhelming bundle of 70 mile-per-hour winds that
twirl and spin until it has nothing left to do but crash
A tornado that is made up of bits and pieces of my shattered past
has broken down into something worse than debris--
Shards of glass defined the very person that I used to be
My emotions gather in a funnel cloud
Spinning constantly, topsy-turvy, round n' round
until it creates something that cannot be stopped
And without a sound, debris scatters through the streets,
up and down
houses topple and crumble and somehow--
I can't accept that it's all my fault
Instead I blend in with the destruction
and cower until the dust erupts and flies away
leaving me with no choice but to accept
that I was not the eye of the storm
but the storm itself

You told me
to look into your eyes
I saw nothing
but two flickering lights
slowly beginning to burn out

For almost a two year course
through autumn and through winter
My heart ached with a sadness
almost unshakeable
My heart was coated in bronze
then striped of its shine
Within seconds
it was a color
that was the worst of its kind
I have worn four letter words on my thighs
and my arms in the form of pink scars
that aren’t so hard to hide
My thoughts have been through battles
of unthinkable agony
but
that is no longer me.
Oh how beautiful is it that
another soul can wrap around
and shine against your own
How someone you may barely know
can turn your heart from a rusting silver
to a burning gold
by their words alone
What was once pain
has become love,
and this time
I’m lost in all
the right
ways

Some people say that it’s a way to escape
A way for your mind to evacuate
A way to shake off the pain
To erase the names
To find peace
To soothe your mind
Yet you feel ashamed
As if it was wrong
To slice at your wrists
You cry at night
Blinded by the sight
Of the crimson fluid
Flowing down your arm
Running away from your problems
You continue to fly away
And cut at the arm that God made
Just for you
It’s not a way to solve things
With all the pain it brings
To your own self,
It damages you
Don’t throw your body away
Don’t throw away the perfection
that God made
Just for you
Because once the blade
touches your wrist
You become an addict
Trying to find your way out
But you keep going back
For more
Only because you’ve
Convinced yourself
That it helps

Our names won’t be remembered
If we die like trampled flowers
I refuse to be forgotten
Written off as less than worth it

I wish you knew how beautiful you are
I wish you knew how much you're worth

I wish you appreciated yourself
In comparison to how much I appreciate you

I wish you knew how much I love you
I think about you every second of every day
Every minute of every hour
Every day of every year

Every smile that I see
Every tear I see you cry
Every kiss I give your lips
Every hug before we part

You’re not alone in this wretched world
There is more to this life
I know
I know that you dream of death
   I know you feel like there’s nothing left
  Your pain will never cease
Crying each and every night
I know
I’ve been there
I’ve been down that road

I know that there is more to life
You’re not alone

Young child
Please stay strong
They say you've been wild,
but you've done nothing wrong

Keep your head held high
and your dreams set on success
Wipe those tears from your eyes
and put your worries to rest