waking up to you curled up on my side
your shoulders welcoming my tender touches on your skin
the dip in your neck where I can leave my kisses
hips where for my arms to circle around
hair still smothered in the fragrance of last night's shampoo
nuzzling into you, I'm welcomed by a mixture of beads of sweat and warmth
you shuffle in your position, and turn to face me
eyes opened only halfway, still recovering from a dreamlike trance
you dare open your mouth to utter a word, but I stop you halfway with a gentle kiss
pulling away, your lips are curved into a tiny smile
and with the raspiest voice you can gather, you greet me "Good morning"
and indeed, that was all I needed to know I had a good day ahead of me

there you are dancing in smoke and lights moving along to the bass of the music
once again the crowd cheers for you

if only you knew how i cheered for you even backstage without all the special effects, with your hair pinned up and your face clear as day

her story lies behind the layers of foundation and her waterproof eyeliner
she has a name people say but an identity she can no longer come to terms with
people hand her bandages but the scars will always bleed through and she's learned to accept this
she has a script where each page opens with the question on whether or not she's okay but she never is
they tell her to go to church but there are demons within her that aren't the ones religion can simply bless and pray away
she presents eyes with a vibrant shade of brown but all she can see through them are black and white
she's troubled, in pain, lost, insecure, scared, but most of all...

she's more than the layers of foundation and waterproof eyeliner

heard the church choir singing songs of praise
but your voice alone was enough to make me holy

it's another day where she hides
it's another day of lying to herself
it's another day of reciting "i'm okay" with the most fabricated of smiles
she is surrounded by the heights of cities and a sky full of clouds that come and go
there is chatter here and there
a couple talking about their dreams
over here is a kid asking for another ice cream cone
but all she sees is black and white
all she hears are her thoughts
there is no sun in her eyes
neither is there rain
it's just dark
it's too dark
it's also quiet
until she is interrupted by the slightest hint of worry
she came into this world with the lightest of steps
she lives today with extra weight on her feet
she is a girl who's learned that some lies and broken promises leave an even bigger mark than cuts and bruises
this poor girl who is constantly torn between calling for help or staying to make sure no damage has been done
she's scared
she always has been
she's like this
well, she wasn't always like this
everyday she hides in the sunshine of others just to blend in
everyday she lies as a temporary escape from her thoughts, only to come back a few seconds after
everyday she recites "i'm okay"
she is
she swears she is

i was wondering why the sky looked so beautiful today
then i realized it was only because i learned to see in color again
thanks to you

i used to fear the day someone else fills the gap between your fingers where mine used to be
how painful for me to watch someone learn about you when i know even the most basic of things like how you want your coffee done
little does she know, i've heard the same things you've said to her once or twice before
i hope she straightens out the creases on your bed only to ruffle them up again as if i was never there
tell me though, have you thrown out our pictures in your wallet to save space for your new ones with her?
i also can't help but wonder how many times she has to kiss you in order to wipe me away from your lips
and lastly, no matter how much this may pierce through my entire being...
please ignore me as i count the tears that stream down my cheek each time you tell her you love her