I read a lot.
I read a lot of romance novels.
I read a lot of fiction.

I know they're not real people.
I hope that the love in the story is how love truly feels...
or maybe it's something else.

To write a story you need imagination. That's fake isn't it?
A fictional story is something that isn't real.
So the themes like love in it aren't real either, right?

I have an overactive imagination.
That's even more fake.
Nothing I could ever imagine would be real.

Maybe one day it might be.
But not now and not in the past.

You know what I often imagine? You and me.
In the future of course.
So... is that fake?

This... "character" that I've "created" based off of you in my head.
It's not you.
You're you and anything else isn't.
Even my "character" that's portraying you.

But what about you... the real you?
Do I know you as much as I know this "character"?
Probably not.

Do I... love you as much as I love this "character"?
... I don't know ...
I now start to fear that...

I've simply fallen in love with the idea of you.

As heartbreaking as that might sound.
As painful as typing this may be.
As nerve wracking as pressing "send" may be.

I hope that I truly love you...
and not this "character" that I've created.

I never used you,
though you used me.
I kept you safe and warm,
though you kept me cold and lifeless.

I helped you achieve your dreams,
though you only crushed mine.
I believed in you,
though you only believed in me when it benefited you.

You always wanted me,
though sometimes I couldn't give you what you wanted.
You relied on me to fix your problems,
though sometimes they were too impossible.

You thought that I'd always be there for you,
though I have others to be with just as you.
You assumed that I wasn't on your side,
when I never left it to begin with.

You abused me till there was almost nothing left,
you got stronger every time you used me.
You were frail and broken at first,
but I made you happier with each beating.

I live to see people happy,
to give them a chance to improve in life.
So I will gladly take your pain away,
and place it upon myself.

I made you believe in things,
though you thought they would last forever.
I brought you happiness,
though you didn't always want it.

I let you see the best in people,
though they eventually showed you their true colors.
I kept you comforted on those dark days,
though you wanted me to leave.

You thought I wanted to hurt you,
though I only had best intentions.
You dreamt of princesses and princes,
though I couldn't give you that happily ever after.

You cursed me when things didn't go according to plan,
though I believe it taught you a valuable lesson.
You believe you've found the one,
though I know... you have five more to go.

Safe and warm,
I raised you to take in those that meant good.
Gentle and pure,
I protected you for so long from those meaning harm.

My job is finished.
You broke my rules.
You blame me for what's been done.
I tried to tell you to be cautious.

You never listened.
You're on your own.
May you succeed without my help.
May you feel a thousand heartbreaks before you do.

I am a dangerous game.
One you don't know how to play.

My love is a poison,
one you should not run from.
My love is a parasite,
one you should only accept.

I want to be by your side,
and for you to be by me always.
Standing behind you,
my arms trapping you in my embrace.

The air is chilling,
goosebumps are rising.
Your heart is racing,
my grip is tightening.

You can't leave me,
nor will I ever leave you.
You can try to run,
but I will always find you.

The figure in the shadows,
the feeling of being watched.
The alarm that soon appears,
is a beautiful look on you.

I know what you're scared of,
I use them to my advantage.
I know your secrets,
even the ones you never told.

I love you,
and the way you go crazy.
I love you,
and the way you scream.

You hate me though,
but that makes me love you more.
You call me terrible things,
and you're right about them.

I'm a parasite,
a virus that gets into your head.
Eating away all things sane,
until there's nothing left.

I, my dear,
am the embodiment of fear.

You came back,
crawling with scratches covering you.
Hurt and broken,
as you beg for forgiveness.

But not to me,
to the one that inflicted those wounds.
The one that pretended to be the victim,
making you believe that you were in the wrong.

I can't bear to watch you be hurt,
though I may say otherwise.
I'm a part of you,
begging to take control of your actions.

You deserve better.
You deserve happiness.
You deserve someone kind.
You deserve me, Love.

I abandoned you,
despite my saying that I'd never.
I threw you out,
and said "Good luck on your own."

You never listened.
You are no longer on your own.
You will be protected.
You will be loved.

May you not make the same mistakes as you did before.
May you take care of yourself even when I'm not here.
May you find the person that will treat you right.
May you never suffer from heartbreak again.

I never knew
That love could be true
Until that fateful day
Where I met you.

Love is just a four-letter word,
that begins with L.
Lust is just a four-letter word,
that begins with L.

Two very different words,
with much in common.
One may easily be mistaken,
for the other.

Both yearning for someone,
but in different ways.
Both feel great at first,
but may die over time.

Lust is secretive, hot, and ****,
but who says that can't be love?
Love is passionate, confident, and loyal,
but who says that can't be lust?

You'll think you feel one,
when it's actually the other.
Or maybe you got it just right,
and know yourself better.

Love and lust,
similar, but not the same.
Love and lust,
different, but not opposites.

Love is just a four-letter word,
that begins with L.
Lust is just a four-letter word,
that begins with L.

Everyone wants to be loved and be in love.
Don't they?

The person they can trust with their life,
with every small piece of them.
To be accepted completely,
even with all the chips and scratches they may have.

To wake up every morning and think of them,
only to fall asleep at night with them on their mind.
To be filled with a warmth that cannot be explained,
when they are held or touched by their partner.

This pull to want to be near them as much as possible,
and that they never leave.
The smile that makes its way onto their face,
as they listen and talk with their partner.

These things and many more,
make up what someone might feel when in love.
I, however,
do not.

I used to,
but now these feelings are just left empty.
This sense of something missing,
always brings me to wonder.

Am I really in love?
Am I really being loved?
Is this what love feels like after a while?
Is this what being loved feels like after a while?

I will find out at some point...
But no matter what:
Everyone wants to be loved and be in love.
Don't they?

You are the love of my life,
The one who makes my heart race.
You are the light of my life,
The one who knows how to make me smile.

You are the one I want to be with,
Every morning and every night.
You are the one I hope to marry,
To have children and grow old with you.

You are my favorite person,
You tell me that I am yours.
You are both my lover and friend,
You tell me that I am yours.

Now until forever,
With no end in sight:
You are mine,
And I am yours.