Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
The sad part is
I think I was right
No one stays
In those dark nights
In those times
Im
All
Alone
And I will be
All
Alone
And that's how it is
I just have to deal
I want this wound
To just finally heal
But every time
I open myself up
They just seem to leave
And so again
Im
Alone
That's just how it goes
But no worries
I've learned to enjoy it
I
Actually
Like
Being
Alone
Just random thoughts and nothingness that exists inside my head.
Why is sleep so hard to come by?
Why do I stay up so late?
Why is it at night, my thoughts turn to hate?
I want to sleep
My eyes are heavy
But I can't seem to except it
I can't seem to close my eyes
And I just don't understand why
Im always exhausted
So you would think I would live to sleep
And I do
But getting there is the problem
And often times
Staying there
Seem to be even harder.
Uuggghhh im tired XD
 Aug 2017 rose
SøułSurvivør
... is going from bad to worse -
and now
THINGS HAVE NEVER BEEN BETTER!


[15W]
SøułSurvivør
(C) 8/10/2017
It is a truism that the Christian Life is all upside down. What seem to be blessings are actually curses, and extraordinarily hard times are the most blessed.

When you bare up under extremely adverse conditions with grace, it is ONLY due to Jesus's Grace. Prayers get answered, but not ALWAYS for yourself.

My father is giving up. He doesn't want to fight anymore. I can't say I blame him. Anyone who knows my situation knows that my father is dying. I'm going to say it just like that because that is the reality. I'm very fortunate to have had my dad this long. He's 93 years old.

But when he goes there's a problem. I may not have a place to stay. I may have to go into a group home due to my disabilities. I knew this was coming for many years, also. But the reality of it is now hitting me. I won't be able to stay with my beloved mother. We will have to sell the house in order to afford to live anywhere. The upkeep on the house is just simply too expensive for even both my mother and I. Taxes alone in the area where I live are exorbitant. I live by the University of Arizona and property here is at a premium. So this house will not be where I'm living ever again. It's the house I grew up in, and I've called home since 1965.

I have more going on,  but I won't burden you with it. I just want to make this point. For all the things happening in my life which are adversities, I am more peaceful and joyful than at almost any other time in my life. Where does this come from?

JESUS.

HE IS keeping and sustaining me! Thank you all for bearing with me during the time of my absence. I want to be with my father as much as possible. And, obviously, I have many other things to do. I appreciate your understanding also that my phone is in disrepair. I can't afford to fix it at this point. But as soon as I am able I will be back out on the site with bells on!

♡♡♡ LOVE YOU ALL! ♡♡♡
 Aug 2017 rose
Ryan Holden
Pinches on my skin
Remind me I am still caught,
In grips of your love.
 Aug 2017 rose
JAC
Here's to
sad songs
and dancing
through the kitchen
in our sweaters and underwear
when we should most certainly be asleep.
 Aug 2017 rose
sage
stars
 Aug 2017 rose
sage
Tonight,

I looked at the stars like I do every night,

and I cried.

because this time,

I remembered

that some of them are dead.

and I realised

just how envious I was,

that I was not as beautiful as a star,

even though,

I too,

was still there.

yet also

so

very

dead.
I've lost my love and I don't know how to get it back.
The lights
The noise
The music
The sounds
The voices
The dance
The life
It brings
Both vibrancy
And anxiety
Both life
And death
Most everyone
Loves it all
But not I
I love
And I hate
There is dark
And light
It's all
A paradox
Just as
Am I.
There is this dance thing every Saturday night in the summer, and my friends and I have started going a lot, it's a lot of fun but it also makes me anxious.
Next page