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Born
Roles casted
Lines rehearsed
The stage is set
Acting
Wearing a mask
Hiding yourself
From others
Applause
Praising your act
Take a bow
show yourself
Curtains
Your act is over
One of the best
The Playwright says
Closing his book
I NEVER BELONGED HERE
ALOT OF US NEVER DID
OUR FACES AREN'T REAL
THEY'RE WALLS WE HIDE BEHIND
WE DON'T BELONG HERE
WE JUST WATCH THE REST
OBSERVE TO SEE HOW TO ACT
WE DON'T BELONG HERE
BUT YOU WOULD NEVER GUESS
HOW MANY OF US WALK AMONG YOU
I wrote this little piece for a creative writing class
It's funny how
No one notices
When the people
Right in front of them
Start falling apart.
I feel myself
Disintegrating  
My heart
Breaking
And no one seems
To notice.
I keep my mask on.
The smile
The hellos
And How are you's
They say the saddest
People laugh the loudest
I wish I could say
That wasn't true.
As soon as those words were said,
the mask she's worn all her life
starts to crack.
With every bit of word they say,
her true self began to show,
her true ugly self.
But they didn't know though,
that there was ever this side of her.
She would always smile,
she would always laugh.
If only they had look closer,
close enough to see her smile faltered,
close enough to see into the windows of her soul,
they would see
the girl that was filled with
insecurities, and sadness.

- { E.I }
She was breaking.
The girl with the tearless eyes,
The girl that cannot cry,
The girl thats always
"Good",
Always
"fine"

And you assume she is because
She's not crying
She's just smiling
So she's fine, right?

But she's putting on a face,
Putting on a mask,
Covering the truth,
Covering the past.

She'll cancel plans last minitue only to assure you she's fine just got caught up in some family ties.

But she's got trust issues deeper than the cuts she tries to hide.
More painful than the lies
And trying to pretend everythings fine.

And the names YOU called her?
Still echoeing in her brain,
Still imprinting,
Still remaining.

But she still tries to fake a smile,
Lay low for a little while,
Walk at a normal pace,
Keep it together!

The lie that you're living is bringing disgrace!
You are a disgrace, everything you are is built around it.

Till she can't even remember the lies from reality,
Did i smile?
Did i laugh?
Or am i still pretending?

She asks herself
As she laughs at the reflection in front of herself.
Will i ever be happy?
She asks head bowed down low in front of herself.

She's not okay,
She's always a lie.

Trying to fix her broken soul,
But the ghosts of the past still haunt her.

They torture her
*******
             *******
                           *******
The life out of her
And the happiness
And the hope
It's like the dementors are coming out into the night.

And she's not fine
But she can't cry
For the tears that once flowed put like niagra falls,
Have dried up like the sahara desert.

And her head is still pounding
As she tries to get some sleep
Still stuck poundering on the everyday life she dreads
Still poundering
                            Searching
                ­                            Searching
For her silver saviour,
Hoping to relief the pain she's been feeling in a river of red.

But she puts on a mask and fakes
a smile,
a laugh.

And you assume she's fine,
But she's soulessly screaming
Help me.
              Help me.
                             Help
Who are you
Behind that profile picture
That is not you

Who are you
Behind those words that pour
Like blood from your fingers to the keyboard

Who are you
Behind your angry insults
A mendicant of mercy.

Which begs the question:
Who am I behind my picture
And my words
And my angry insults?

I don't know who I am.
This beautiful smile conceals and covers
All the pains of disconnected lovers.
This beautiful smile, iv practised for years.
It shows itself now to mask the tears
This beautiful smile has been perfected to hide
All the pains that haught me inside
This beautiful smile is begining to break
I'm not sure how much more I can take
This beautiful smile, believe me iv tried
But it can not take away the thoughts of suicide.
Hello again.
It's been awhile.
The last time I saw you
Was back in high school.
How are you?
What are you up to?
Well I can honestly say
I don't miss you.
Sorry for the blunt honesty
But you kind of made my life a living hell
Crushing my dreams before I even knew what they were
Everyday you tore off another layer of skin
Everyday I came closer to bleeding
My emotions were your toy
And you played with me like a toddler
I never asked for you to tag along
And when I asked you to leave
You clung tighter
Your nails digging further into my shoulder
Causing permanent scars
No matter how many times I asked politely
No matter how many times I screamed in agony
You always followed
You consistently throw me under the bus
But I still find myself defending you
Defending you
That's all I've ever done
And now
I'm all alone
With no one to play with
No one to tag along with
No one to laugh with
No one to talk with
No one
Idek anymore ...
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