I’m sorry mom,
I’m really sorry.

I’m sorry for locking myself in my room.
I’m sorry for hiding.

I’m sorry for being a hassle.
I’m sorry for my pain.

I’m sorry for the money spent on me.
I’m sorry for wasting your time.

I’m sorry that I’m needy.
I’m sorry I get out-of-line.

I’m sorry I disappoint you.
I’m sorry I try too hard.

I’m sorry Mom,
I truly am.

© Regan

I don’t really like myself,
It’s true I don’t.
I don’t stand out.
I’m not any sort-of special.
I’m normal.
I don’t have a quality
that makes me stand out.
I change my hair color,
I wear makeup,
And I change who I am.
I try on clothes that make me cry,
because my body isn’t perfect.
I pick out new foundations,
To cover my flaws better.
I give into others,
To make them happy.
I have lost myself, and have found myself.
Still, through all I’ve gone through,
I still don’t like myself.
I feel undeserving of anything,
Useless, worthless, and terrible.

I’m sorry self, you shouldn’t be treated this way.

© Regan

I wrote a poem about you,
Except it’s not for you.

I wrote a poem about you,
But you may not have it.

I wrote a poem about you,
But It’s not sweet.

I wrote a poem about you,
But not for your physical existence.

I wrote a poem about you,
For the pain you caused me.

I wrote a poem about you,
But it’s not a good thing.

© Regan

Holding together my thoughts
Keeping them where they should be.

As my messy, disorganized mind causes chaos,
My small twisted friends,
Keep my mind going,
While pushing my thoughts further.

They’re small and lost easily,
But once they’re gone,
The train of thought is off it’s tracks.

The wild thinking of
Stress and worry,
Come back to where
They had left before.

Thank you my steel wire helpers,
I would be a mess without you.
Thank you for organizing my thoughts,
Thank you my paper clips.

© Regan

You aren’t special
You won’t ever be someone’s “one”
You’re just as ordinary as everyone else,
Who’s foolish enough to think love is good.
It’s just like falling down the stairs,
Having someone brush you off and help you stand, and then pushing you down another.
You’re a silly girl to think love is good.

You aren’t going to rise above others.
You’re gonna keep standing on your own feet.
Until someone pushes you down
Dreams aren’t a reality anymore, you can’t follow them, take a more “realistic” path.
Grow up you silly girl.

Your mommy and daddy aren’t happy,
Working a 40 hour shift just to come home and deal with your problems.
They don’t see each other much anymore,
Reality hit them faster than imagined.
Don’t think true happiness is real silly girl.

You’ll be happy to hear this from me now
Than to realize it yourself in 20 years,
You silly girl.

© Regan

Cold beer
Bonfires
American flags soaring above
Motorcycle gangs racing on a dark highway
Laughing, drinking, but most importantly, living
letting a summer’s breeze fill their lungs
Cigarette and old alcohol reside in the air
Careless 50’s vibe in a modern era
Bandanas hold back unbrushed curls
Living in a blue-jean America

© Regan

Drugs! Heartbreak! Pain!
Stay away from our families
Parents who cover and sugarcoat our lives
Not letting us know about true suffer
Such as homeless, disease, death, love.
Our exposure to terrible things is limited
To make our childhood a little more bearable
Keeping us Little Ones away from the “monsters”
And the
“Bad guys”
But aren’t telling us that they’re just like you and me.
Our exposure is limited to what the world
Truly is.

© Regan