A Wizard gave my cousin two choices, become an ogre or praise the new Doctor Who.
It took less than five seconds for him to choose what to do.
He chose to become an ugly green ogre even though it will be for the remainder of his days.
He chose to be an ogre because the new Doctor Who TV show isn't something he'll ever praise.
He became an ogre two years ago and this morning I learned that he doesn't regret it.
He doesn't regret his choice even though he's so ugly that he makes Shrek look like Brad Pitt.
When he was given the choices, he was expected to praise the new Doctor Who.
He has always loved the original Doctor Who TV show but he sure does hate the new.

A taxi driver charged me fifty bucks for a short trip.
And then the S.O.B. had the nerve to ask for a tip.
When I said no, he started giving me lip.
I pulled him out of his taxi and broke his hip.
With his expensive fares, he robs people blind.
When he asked for a tip, he was out of his mind.
I punched that sorry punk over and over again.
He tried to fight back by kicking me in the shin.
But I didn't even feel it and I certainly didn't care.
When I was done, he had to but a wheelchair.
When he overcharged me and asked for a tip, it was a stupid thing to do.
If you're a taxi driver who does the same, I'll find you and kick your *** too.

Some people don't like the fact that I have opinions to express.
Some people don't like it and that's what I'm going to address.
Certain people may want me to like what they like and to agree with their views.
But I'm not always going to see eye to eye with them or with you.
There is something that is important and it must be understood.
I won't agree with certain things just because I'm told that I should.
I'm my own person, there are certain things that I believe in and certain things that I dislike.
Everybody has the right to their opinions and if others say they don't, they can take a hike.

When I agreed to work for room and board, I was told that it would be good.
But the boss lied to me about the chow, it wasn't something that I misunderstood.
When I sat down at the table, I thought I was hallucinating but sadly, it was real.
I expected to get hot cakes and bacon and eggs, but all I was given was oatmeal.
I had a hard day's work ahead of me and I certainly deserved better than that.
The boss said I needed to lose weight, he didn't allow his workers to be fat.
I was so angry that I took the oatmeal and dumped it over my employer's head.
I embarrassed him in front of his other employees because his face turned red.
He said that he didn't like fat people and all of his employees had to be slim.
I hit that S.O.B. so hard that he swallowed his false teeth and then I mooned him.
I said "I Quit!" and then I walked out the door.
The other employees were laughing so hard that they were rolling all over the floor.
I will gladly work for room and board but something needs to be understood.
I'll work without pay but I'll kick the employer's *** if the chow isn't any good.

It has been half a century since the first moon landing.
It was a historical event that was absolutely outstanding.
The Apollo 11 landed on the moon's surface fifty years ago today.
Two astronauts walked on the moon which is over 238,000 miles away.
Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin were pioneers like Daniel Boone.
On July 20, 1969, Armstrong and Aldrin landed on the moon.
As Armstrong stepped on the moon's surface, he said "That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.
When those brave astronauts left the moon to come home, the American flag was something they left behind.
I wasn't alive in 1969 so the moon landing wasn't something that I was able to witness.
But I'm guessing that it was awesome for those who were alive, a wonderful experience.
NASA is an independent agency of the United States Federal Government.
I wish I could've seen the moon landing because it was one hell of an event.

I'm talking about a record label that was founded a long time ago.
It was founded in the early seventies and the label was called RSO.
They were once a very successful corporation.
RSO stood for 'Robert Stigwood Organization'.

When it came to stars like Andy Gibb and Eric Clapton, RSO managed their careers.
RSO was founded in 1973 and sadly, the record label ended after just ten years.
They also managed the careers of Yvonne Elliman and the Bee Gees.
RSO manufactured records about 'The Empire Strikes Back' and 'Return Of The Jedi' before dissolving in 1983.

In 1980, the Bee Gees slapped RSO with a two hundred million lawsuit.
There was a settlement for an undisclosed amount that ended the dispute.
In 1983, many people hated to see them go.
The world is a better place because of RSO.

She was very young when she was shot and killed by Robert John Bardo.
She starred in 'One Life To Live' and 'My Sister Sam' over 30 years ago.
Bardo had stalked Rebecca for three years and tragically ended her life with his gun.
Fans were forced to say goodbye to this great actress who died at the age of twenty-one.