You've designed a new electric car and it's being built on the assembly line.
You've been pestering me to buy one but I never will, one of your cars will never be mine.
You want me to buy one but I'm going to pass.
Your car ***** and you can shove it up your ***.
It takes fourteen hours to charge it and it can only be driven for thirty minutes.
Your car is a joke and when it comes to one of them, you'll never see me in it.
If I couldn't design a better car than yours, I'd give up and quit.
I will never buy one of your cars because they are pieces of ****.

A British actor entertained people as Selwyn Froggitt and The Gaffer.
During his 89 years of life, Bill Maynard gave millions the gift of laughter.
He starred in a few episodes of both 'Worzel Gummidge' and 'Heartbeat'.
He starred once in both 'The Ugliest Girl In Town' and 'Coronation Street'.

When he died, it was hard for all of his fans to get a grip.
He died in a hospital not long after falling and breaking his hip.
It was twelve months ago when he passed away.
Sadly, we lost a talented actor one year ago today.

I bought a shotgun at a flea market without knowing that it was used to commit a horrible crime.
The former owner used the shotgun to **** an entire family and I was about to have to do hard time.
The police came to my house and confiscated the shotgun.
They thought I was the guilty party, they thought I was the one.
The entire world turned against me, I was a person who billions of people hated.
People said that I should go to the gas chamber and if I did, it would be celebrated.
Even though the public had turned against me, I convinced the police to have doubts.
I told them over and over that somebody else was the killer and they decided to check it out.
They found the real killer and it wasn't long before he was placed under arrest.
The cops showed him the bodies of his victims and he broke down and confessed.
Even though I was put through hell, I'm not mad.
The real killer was brought to justice and I'm glad.
Many people have mailed apologies to me and one of the reasons why billions turned against me is because I'm mentally ill.
They thought I was a crazy ****** but now when it comes to committing ******, everybody knows that I never will.

I have a story to tell but it's not for the faint of heart, it is scary.
I bought a farm and discovered that it has a cursed Pet Sematary.
I buried my German Shepherd there and he came back to life.
But he was extremely violent, he killed my daughter and my wife.
My dog was foaming at the mouth and I shot him in the head.
He fell to the floor, this made the second time that he was dead.
My neighbor buried his son in the Pet Sematary and he too returned to life.
When he tried to hug his resurrected son, he got his throat cut out with a knife.
I told my neighbor if he buried his son in the Sematsry, things would become worse.
He didn't listen when I said that his son would be evil because the Sematary is cursed.
When his son saw me, he cut my left arm off with my own chainsaw.
But before he could finish me off, he was shot by an officer of the law.
If you bury something or somebody in this Pet Sematary, you'll have a lot to fear.
I've decided to sell my farm and get the hell out of here.

It was my moral duty to operate and in many people's eyes, I was admired.
I did what needed to be done and because of that, I was fired.
Four years ago, a baby was born with Down Syndrome and he had a heart defect.
Because of his mental impairment, he was a baby who his parents chose to reject.
I told the parents that without an operation, their baby would die.
They told me not to operate and sadly, I understood the reason why.
They wanted him to die because of his Down Syndrome and some others and I protested.
The parents were taken to court but the judge agreed with what the parents requested.
Even though that **** judge upheld the parents decision, I operated anyway.
I saved that baby's life but my superiors were outraged and decided to make me pay.
I was fired but because of public outcry, they said that I would be reinstated.
I told them to go jump off a cliff, I wouldn't work for a hospital that I hated.
I was fired because of my moral scruples but I had the last laugh.
Now I work at a better hospital and I've become the Chief of Staff.

Yesterday, I ordered a pizza and washed my hands and then I had a fit.
When I came to the table, I saw that my family was eating all of it.
They grabbed the entire pizza, they didn't even leave me one slice.
That was inconsiderate of my family, it certainly wasn't nice.
Today, I ordered a pizza with anchovies which my entire family hates.
They wouldn't touch the pizza and they thought what I did wasn't great.
They were all angry because they didn't get their meal.
So I told the jerks that now they know how I feel.

My evil stepmother and I became lovers and we killed my dad.
We did it so that we could get all of the money that he had.
We were greedy and we made sure that Dad would Rest in Peace.
But we made a fundamental mistake, we underestimated the police.

I pushed Dad off the roof and tried to make it look like he accidentally fell.
But the police didn't buy it and now my stepmother and I are rotting in jail.
The cops figured out that my stepmother and I were lovers.
They used their ingenuity to make us turn on one another.

Now as I sit in my cell, I feel pretty bad.
I feel like a piece of trash for killing Dad.
Dad had over a hundred million dollars but in the end, it did me no good.
If I could travel back in time to stop myself from killing my father, I would.