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 Sep 2014 Rabiya Zafar
Aiman
It's 3 am but she's still wide awake
no matter how hard she tried
she couldn't stop the ache
the night was dead and so were her feelings
the pain in her heart was terribly hurting

Pacing back and forth in her room
trying her best to let the feelings loose
all she could think of right now
was her pills and razors
to her that's the only way,
the only answer

And with all her might
she avoided the suicide
she closed her eyes and prayed
for the demons inside her
to subside

Torn apart by the people
who treated her wronged
she's just a girl who wanted
to feel belonged

Her eyes were swollen and burning
from the tears that had fallen
as she lied on her bed
with her pillow clutch tightly
by her side
eyes closed but her thoughts were
still running wild

All she wanted was to fall asleep
because to her that's the only
place where everything
is still all right
no problems
no sorrows
no pain

As she stared at the empty ceiling
of her spacious bed room
at this point she was
already numb
the clock started to ring
it showed 6 am

She got up out of bed and went
straight to the toilet
the mirror showed her face
looking absolutely tired
as she looked closer she saw
dark circles appeared beneath her eyes
so that's when she said to herself
*"I've lost to my thoughts again this time"
 Aug 2014 Rabiya Zafar
elizabeth
A few months ago
I was counting the days
until you left
because your lack of presence
would have been a better present
than the one you didn't give me
for my birthday this year

Every night I would wait
for the day to come
when you wouldn't be near
as if your body was in my bed
pressing down on my chest
until I could no longer breathe

Hating your best friend
will not hurt them
but it will twist your own heart
in ways you never thought possible
and you will pray on stars with fingers crossed
that it might break
or better
stop beating

Absence makes the heart grow fonder
and the tears in our blanket
and the tears in our eyes
have been thoughtlessly mended
with intertwined fingers
in basement bathrooms of bars
we couldn't find again
with a map to guide us

Tomorrow you'll leave me
and move on to adventures
more exciting
than drunk searches
for familiar faces
on streets we could draw perfectly
with blurred vision

I hate to say I'll miss you
and I hate more to see you go
but your darkness was always
darker than mine
and your light was always
too bright for me to look at
so I hope the contrast
of the rainy days and the sunshine
fills you up
in a way nothing else ever has

You were born to fly away
but never given the chance
so I hope you find
that the airplane wings
fit you just right

I hope you accidentally leave
the little broken pieces of yourself
on the cobblestone in London
and in the fountains of Rome
and do not realize it
until you return home

I wish you the best
and the same for myself
because two flowers
cannot grow
in one ***
but if grown separately
they can one day
make a beautiful bouquet
 Aug 2014 Rabiya Zafar
Dianne
Started with the tenth,
Ended with the twenty-fifth.
I am little red
And I’m looking at your pearly teeth.

How did I get so lost in the woods?
How did I get so lost in you?
You already ate half my heart
(Like the bread in my basket)You split it into two.

And I’m bleeding,
Dripping trails of blood,
I wasn't supposed to be here
I wasn't sure how I got.

My mother warned me
About the strangers in the woods:
Keep your eyes on the bread crumbs
Tighten your red, red hood.

The warlock healed me with his magic hands,
The huntsman vowed to avenge me,
The baker fed me with comfort,
The knight struck his shining sword valiantly.

Grandma said, ‘Forget the amber eyes, the deep voice, the untrue.’
‘Your true options stand before you.’
Yet why in the world (in the galaxy, in the stars)
Do I still choose you (who broke my heart)?
Walking, your gait memorizes
Not when you know it
That doesn't count
Because that's different
When you don't know

That's special
A moment removed from
History, unremembered
And is all mine, no one else's
It's not a bounce, or a walk
Almost a combination of both
When every foot touches the ground

Your eyes glisten, uncried tears
And I hope you never cry again
I've been paying more attention
Just lately, and they're so animated
All around back and forth,
But with a sort of tunnel vision
Focused, but in the past

Hands move every word
Flying across the room
Around and around,
Blood tipped nails, work words
Crafted by the sharpest rapier tongue
Building, emphasizing every thought
A crazy, flurry of words, fingers and hands

It's with every breathe you take
Every action, you flow, glow
Fingers to toes
Eyes to heels
Absolutely

And always, yes, I do
Today, poetry is in my bones--
words reverberating against flesh,
holding up my body
through ribcage and skull.
I am a skeleton of sonnets.
If you were to cut me open,
verse would flow out:
I stain pages with ink-splot blood.
 Aug 2014 Rabiya Zafar
A
stargazing
hot chocolate
music
christmas lights
autumn leaves
cuddling (in theory)
performing
long hugs
flowers
children in grocery stores begging for pop tarts
late night talks
the thought of you
the thought of us
seeing you from afar as I walk into school
Just you
 Aug 2014 Rabiya Zafar
nivek
My flesh fits well in this World
through it I touch the eternal
or rather the eternal touches me
Gently I feel the presence of
the one who saves me
and I feel the joy of loves happiness
well up and overpower everything
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