onion vapor tears
steal my raw emotion while
exposing my soul

Nothing's left
That's worth my breath
I fought and fought
To stave off death
I wrestled demons
You couldn't see
becoming something
I shouldn't be
I cut through sinew
I splintered bone
Despite the company
I suffered alone
You said you cared
I thought you knew
I'd never survive
Without you
As skin was tested
blood bloomed
My will was bested
denying doom
I saw it hung
behind each scene
Your heart unshackled
Your conscience clean
Love fits so neatly
back on the shelf
My final desire
To erase myself.

My first love
perfect in all
qualities He holds
closely and dearly.

Relentless
slow to anger
gentle
near and dear
to the broken heart.

But I forget You.

My soul leaps
seeing remnants of You
found in leaking vessels
scattered across my memory

But I forget You.

The leaking vessels
one day hold no water
leaving me parched and dry
and I long for a drink...

But I forget You.

I am but another
broken vessel alone
empty as the whole of the earth.

The earth seeks to quench
their thirst
racing to and fro for water

But we forget You.

O, weary soul,
Remember!
O, tired soul,
The living water is here!
O, thirsty soul,
Drink and never thirst again!

Oh, first love!
As the deer pants for water,
so my soul pants for You!

who you are
what you did
when you fell apart
where you stand
how you got there

why you left

you are beautiful
    not perfect
I hope you do your best
    or die trying
if I could find your pieces
    I'd put you back together
I have to search for you first
    in a word anyway
I would try to find a way
    I will be praying

because I care enough
    to hope for understanding

Who must I be
What are the steps
When do I start
Where is my courage
How can I help

Why do I worry

Things I don't know
but I'd like to

I will be praying
God forbid,
you become another lost

answer

Why?* If we had such a great start,
to my bed I ask before I fall asleep,
while I'm trying not to fall apart,
before memories roll down my cheecks.

Did I made you inside my head?
Your smile nourished my soul
and now I'm starving in my bed.
You where all I could've imagined.

Did I made you inside my head?
I'd die for another night in your bed.
I'm not smart enough and I blame this heart.

White       Noise       Static
Hot           Haze        Humid

Heat Lightning
           condensation
           compression
           ******
Peace comma

be       still
              wait
written
    analog interference converts
2 digital Binaries
on    shhh   off
finished? Thank God
             For Today,

close the book.

Demon
in my head
con trolling

can it
where how
does it draw

power
to handle myself
authority mine

once
upon a time
I had will

resolution
discernment
direction

freedom
obtained
by the way

materialization
paper pen
raw thought

disoriented
dazed
detrimentally disturbed

determine
describe
define
direct
demand

I have your name in my hand
I wash my hands of you

ink
sink
drain

mirror mirror
on the floor
bears many faces
one no more