i'm tired of trying
trying to feel okay,
to even look okay.
it's so draining
there's no point,
you told me to try for you, if not for me.
i'm trying SO hard for you
im exhausted
i'm slowly heading back into that darkness-
that emptiness
the sinking feelings inside
the feeling of being lost
the knowing
the knowing that there's no hope for me
you said if i tried hard enough
i'd be happy
im trying my hardest,
and i haven't found him yet.
i haven't found the happy me.
you told me to stay for you
you told me i belonged here still
is this what you asked for?
you asked for me to stay.
the me that's here isn't what you wanted back.
i'm empty,
and i can't keep kidding myself.
i can't keep kidding you.
i can't give you the happy me you wanted back.
i cant handle it