Childhood is full of
the tugging of hair
and licking sherbet so sharp that your
eyes water.
School is making daisy chains in the sunshine,
splashing through puddles in the rain,
socks that fall down
and hair that sticks up,
the clasping of sticky hands
and the shoving of bodies in ant farm corridors.
Friendships are forged in the form of
whispers,
hands cupped round ears
and tentative
"Will you be my best friend?"s.
These friendships
strengthen like super glue
or dissolve like sugar in tea,
fragile as a moth trapped in a jar.
Some friendships are more than
a breath of words in an ear,
some are a shout from
a mountain top.
Some friendships don't need to be deterred
by the length of a daisy chain
or how many sweets you've shared.
Some friendships don't need the deep roots that are
plotted and planted as kids,
because some friendships scatter off trees in the wind
all of a sudden
and bloom in the aftermath of tears,
tears cried over boys and cupped in collar bones.
Some friendships grow and blossom in the
sunshine of smiles,
giggles on lazy Sunday afternoons,
stifled laughter in sticky situations.
Some friendships are
sealed
by the soil of memories
more real than classrooms
and plastic chairs.
Some friendships are more than scrunched up notes
thrown across tables
and promises made with crossed hearts.
The best friendships are the ones formed as
adults
that make you feel
that young again.

Lydia was glad
to be out
of the flat
her big sister

was rowing
with her mother
her father sleeping off
the night before

her brother Hem
teasing her
beyond tolerance
she crossed

the Square
going by the milkman
and his horse
drawn cart

the horse
with its feeding bag
over its nose
the morning sun weak

but coming
through above
she walked up
and through

heading towards the top
to go to the shops
for her mother
with the scribbled

list of wares
and a handful of coins
she crossed
Rockingham Street

and along by the shops
I was behind her
going to the same shops
(my mother's list

neatly scribed
in my hand)
Lydia seemed
in deep thought

her head down
I tried to catch up
but she was going
too fast

like a gazelle
but once she stopped
by a shop window
I said

you're up early?
she looked
back at me
Mum wanted me

to get these
she said
showing me
the list

plus the flat
is in turmoil
what with my big sister
rowing and Hem

teasing me
I showed her
my list
how about going

to Jail Park after?
I said
see who can swing
highest?

she looked uncertain
if I'm allowed
she said
or maybe

get a bus
to Westminster Bridge
and see
the Houses of Parliament?

I suggested
haven’t got
the fare money
she said

I’ll get some
I said
my old man
is always ok

for a few coins
she nodded
I'll try
she said

we walked to the shops
we needed
and bought the items
on our lists

and I treated her
to a penny drink
at Penny Shop
and as we stood outside

the morning sun
got warmer
and bright
and she said

she would come to Westminster
if she could
or if her mother
said she might.

When the winter was over
The frost melted off the grass
Daises, petunias, and clovers
Stood as fragile as glass

Spring came alive with joy
And the sun began to show
As if a child found a lost toy
And his face started to glow

Creatures were beckoned far and wide
Lapping at the stream with haste
Nothing even dared to hide
The Water was not something to waste

Finally, when the day came to an end
The doves sang their tune
And the colors of the sky began to blend
And all was silent by the sight of the moon

I took her to my room
Where she took me
Any way she wanted

No questions asked
For we both knew
There were no answers

We came together
But left separately

My life and me.

I wouldn't say
I hate myself,
so why do I hate
what I see in the mirror?

January 5th, 2001
4 years old I am sledding
A day filled with fun
My parents they smile
My baby sister she laughs
All together so happy
But it just couldn't last

A phone call, so brief
Told of death in my home
My best friend, my uncle
Had died last night, all alone
Overdosed they say, ****** hits hard
His mother crying and crying, begging to God
To bring him back please, save him just once
But God plays no favorites, and what's done is done

Poison in my veins, I can feel it when I breathe
The blood of an addict lives on inside of me
Pills and cigarettes, comfort in pain
Unable to escape that nagging in the back of my brain
Because the man I knew so long ago seemed happy
Or so my younger self was told
And though I swear I know better I can't help but dream
Of giving his life a go