i wrote a poem for you today
it was written on the very back of your notebook.
i compared you to a beautiful spring in May
how even the most serene view you overtook

i wrote a poem for you today
i said 'i love you' in it
now i am in disarray

do with me as you deem to be fit

i won't change my words
'i love you'

oh, what terrible pain it is to behold
a love and hope you hold dearly,
to fall apart and crumble
to see that you are not the cafe she was looking for
to finally understand that you are a shirt one size below hers
that you are nothing more than a conversation machine
that you are a good friend
a friend
...

this morning I woke up in a cold sweat
I guess I dreamt of you again
the image of your brown eyes
will forever cause me pain

the image of your tender laughter
like a forever lost, loved daughter

it was really dark
the view outside passed me by
a mother crying over her son's death
a bird grieving for its lover's demise
a man feeling lonely after an ending
i didn't realize
the last one was my own reflection
i wanted to call...
who?
anyone
anyone who wants to answer
who would listen
but I'll just ramble on and on
about how you left me
and how you didn't even say a word
this view is killing me
when will I reach the ****** station?
and what will I do then?
what?
where will you be by then?
Paris?
London?


I don't know
about anything
anymore.
not even myself...

What I lack in me
You, like a tree
Provide always for me

Even though you're no longer with me...

those were the days
when love sprung from the hearts of children
when love seemed so innocent
now it's a mere field so barren

you called me from afar
I came to you, no more than a lover
our hands met with tenderness
goodness, we weren't even 13 yet then

then springtime arrived
we went out feeling much more alive
our lips embraced each other quietly
as quiet as the love that bounded us then

now we are both twenty-three
spring means nothing more than collapsing trees
the warmth now feels hotter than ever
and what we seek in love is nothing more than peace

but then again
when night reaches its height
sometimes I still seek for you.