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You know what's going to be weird
You know what's going to be strange
When this heart in me takes its final beat
And from this place I pass away

Will it be I know I've died
Will it be **** you've arrived
Will I struggle with the jest of it
Or will I take it all in stride

Will there be someone there to meet me
A marching band on hand to greet me
Will St. Peter set me down gently
Pass out popcorn as we cringe at my life's movie

Or will I wake up to the burning of flames
With the demons all chanting my name
Will I realize I've made a mistake
And when I do will I regret it too late

Will I spend a few days out in limbo
Where the angels play songs with only cymbals
With Heaven above and Hell down below
And me here stuck in the middle

Yes it's all going to be pretty weird
If not a bit more than strange
When this heart in me takes its final beat
And from this place I pass away
You don't see how you've hurt me.
You don't see my pain.
You don't see why I'm so afraid,
Afraid of you, afraid of talking to you.
You don't see your mistake.
You don't see your failure.
You don't see anyone but yourself, do you?

I hate this feeling.
Of worthlessness
Of pity
Of "I told you so"
Of being used.

Especially when it's from you.
There is this gap
in my ideal vision of us,
there is something missing;
must be you and your heart,
there is something else missing;
must be the lack of contrast
between your light and your dark,
and I'm not sorry to
have dug this gaping hole
to break what might've been whole;
I was never meant to be yours.
Either life is full of surprises or we're usually in denial of reality...
Hearing you sing,
Makes my heart flutter.
Hearing you laugh,
Melts me like butter.

Seeing you smile,
Makes me dance around.
Seeing you being goofy,
I laugh 'til I fall on the ground.

Feeling your warmth,
I long for you to hold me.
Feeling your touch,
I long for you to want me.

Watching you turn to her,
Breaks my heart.
Watching you be with her,
Breaks my will and I depart.
October 31, 2016
 Oct 2016 Pernille Augustson
mk
there must be a place where broken words go
the ones without a limb
not fully formed
not spoken right
not heard

there must be a place where broken words go
the sentences left uncompleted
the trailing words that never left the lips
the "but" and the "and"
that were always left hanging

somewhere between silence and speech
there must be a place where broken words go
full of stutters and writers block sufferers
somewhere between the "i love"
and the "you" that never followed
or the "wait"
that was whispered into the air
the "please come back"
that made peace with dying
on the corners of a turning mouth

there must be a place where broken words go
the words spoken but never heard
the letters written but never posted
the train of thought that crashed into the clouds
the words in the bottle that traveled the sea
but sunk to the bottom before it could ever reach

there must be a place where my broken words go
the stains on my diary that didn't come from a pen
and the letters on my thighs that don't make sense
the things i could never say
and the things i said that came out all wrong
all the broken alphabets in my song
that cry for salvation
for one more chance

there must be a place where broken words go
there must be a place i can call home.
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