Ugh,
We've all been on this same road
Yet, in a different speed
What messes me up most is what people chase after...
It seems they confuse what they want from what they need
I wonder at times, "is ignorance a disease?"
If you had it all would you be pleased?
Cross your fingers and drop to your knees
Speak to the lord and let your mind find peace.

(Hook)

Ugh, I've used this pen to write my untold story
Of the pain that came before the fortune
Of the mistakes that came before the glory
Those who now want attention that used to walk away and ignore me.
Ha...funny how things change
When you were young, heart was deranged
My mother classified me as insane
I was hiding behind my father's, God givin' name
Which took me to the top
Pressured never killed me, the injection never made me stop
Addict in his mind as its success he craves to find
Attempting to give his high school love his dark heart that resides inside (echoes)
Now I'm facing 25...
I haven't ever felt this alive

(Hook)

This is the verse that's ready to tell all
About my weak moments and drive that stalled
Wonder why she still hasn't called...
I've grown so much and dropped my flaws
I know you can change but you always carry
That inner monster, that's personally scary.
I hope I'm forgivin by my family and friends
I know time allows all to amend
Well, not all of my old friends
Some I wish the best for but otherwise could careless
Penny for my thoughts, I can't Payless
But you can walk in my shoes and obtain my daily stress
I wanna feel what the world feels
Hatred eyes and imperfection appeal
I'm akward as f&@k, so I keep my lips sealed
A starving artist hungry for a deal.
I've asked for prayer to obtain what It is that I want
For that I apologize God
The point I'm making is we need to overcome negativity, madness and greed
Let's focus on the beautiful, the wonderful, the idea of belief.

One more thing...

Watch the angel that sings,
Find your tranquil spot in your mind where faith clings and how good positivity brings
This world is full of flowers that blossomed hate.
I want ya to show the world
How much one gracious action
truly creates.

"Be the change you want to create"

No matter* how tired my legs get...I'll never stop* chasing you.
No matter how much my chest hurts...It'll never stop beating for you. As I get nervous, anxious...excited about what you're about to say.
No matter how much my mind spins...I'll never stop thinking about you, your feistiness, your smile, the way your eyes look at me a certain way.
I'll never stop trying.
I'll never stop trying to make things better.
I'll never stop showing you what you deserve. Clear skies, a peaceful mind, forehead kisses and "I miss you" at the end of each letter. I'll never stop. Even when you want me to because I know you don't want me to truly stop...and go away.
I'll never stop because not many people can make me feel this way.
The best part of the story, and always the highlight of my day.

"Thank you!" as she would say. Lol
But...
I just wannted to make her smile.
I hope I can do that now, tomorrow...and always.
I'll never stop.

Needed to set back up, go and grab this pen
Have been so quite, this internal riot got me suddenly urging to vent
Describe a foe from a friend?
Please, trust me you can't
Give me a penny for your thoughts and I'll simply give you an advance
To move on forward and no longer try and bother with me
This out lashing anger is just my father in me
But ya don't think harder than me
Or maybe I'm just a tyrant
A monster who's uses metaphors to be morally violent!
Calming down my verbs
Being cautious with my actions
Trying to walk away but temptation flirts with and keeps asking,
Me to stay and push all my stability away
As I fall to the ground, not to be found. Letting my ability wash away
Meaning I've wasted talent. Self proclaiming my gifts
This confidence is self perceived
But trust me I'm as lonely as it gets
The walls reveal my story
The irony of "the writing on the wall"
Explaining all my mistakes, exposing all my flaws...
Yet, I finally spoke to peace
Been waiting on its call
This tranquil state of mind probably only gunna last me to the fall!
Temporary healing, is far more appealing, since the "love" of my life left, I've slowly started disappearing
Into a place of an unknown, the entrance a beauty but kinda dreary
The darkness feeds my soul! Now isn't that hunger kinda scary!?
Feel the demons all staring!
Is that just people's attempts of false caring?
Their animal instincts to **** is scaring and overBEARing!
Poetry on the beat, few words is on acid...hits hitting my mind! This high might create a classic
My past has me laughing
Or maybe it's just the Xanax
Heart racing like the derby
This rush giving me panic!
Hard to dodge all these bad habits,
Fingers tips start to tingle
Maybe I'm on the brink of brilliance?
All while fighting my past trying to show resilience!
Chasing more than just millions
The money is all just abstract
One man can change the world, so I've decided to write this message and place society BACK on my back..

And I won't break this time..

Progression is something that takes some time

but these are thought of a complex man who's simply outta his mind...(echos out)

As I grow, I've learned to understand the facts
What seems like love a first sight isn't always that.
Your first jump isn't going to always land
And not all goes according to plan.
Not all doors are the next chance of opportunity
But you keep looking above.
Your heart will get deceived 1000 times before it's satisfied with pure love
Lies will continue to follow
& goals will always leave you outta breath
Great decisions didn't come without a couple sips of regret
Growing up means you will lose a few people along the way
And what seems to be written in stone doesn't mean it'll last forever and is permanently set.
Change comes in to play a lot
And your worst will come before your best.

I know you'll read this ****t, I hate when ya submissive
Passive aggressive, when we speak it's like you no longer listen
Can't follow a heart that has fear and clear omission
The Kryptonite from her smile got me making super bad decisions.
Imma just take a few sips of this champagne
The bubbles help close what's ripped open inside, while the alcohol clears the the eyes of this visual pain
To see what you want start to become distant
How can you convince a broken heart of it's deferred commitment?
And try to hold on to a persons resistance...
Your mental obstacles have you blocking all possibilities
looking for all the flaws when you're staring back at me
Cause it's easy to call it quits, simple to flee
I'm not lookin to harm girl, just tryna reach out and please. You...
How can you bloom a flower in a *** full of confusion? How can a couple a days in paradise all turn into an illusion?
I hear what you're saying, you've been hurt girl, that's a classic
hesitant kisses from her lips, think I can taste disaster
While similarities got us seeing who can push away who faster.
I mean..
What qualities in me were you even searching for?
I search for something I'm missing and disappear when I'm bored..but
You don't  have to believe in love anymore
Tried giving you something to look for
Who better for you than the boy? Huh?

Her deception

Her lies

Her stare

Her eyes

The look...

Why do I still fall for your look?

It's because,

I want to believe you...

It's because...

I don't want to leave you.

The look...

She will watch my heart die.

The look...

Why won't you stop staring and help me?

Why?